22 weeks

Your pregnancy: 22 weeks

How your baby's growing:Your baby now looks like a miniature newborn, checking in at 10.9 inches (the length of a spaghetti squash) and almost 1 pound. Her skin will continue to appear wrinkled until she gains enough weight to fill it out, and the fine hair (lanugo) that covers her head and body is now visible. Her lips are becoming more distinct, and the first signs of teeth are appearing as buds beneath her gum line. Her eyes are developed, though the iris (the colored part of the eye) still lacks pigment. Eyelids and eyebrows are in place, and her pancreas, essential for hormone production, is developing steadily.

21 weeks

Your pregnancy: 21 weeks

How your baby's growing:Your baby now weighs about three-quarters of a pound and is approximately 10 1/2 inches long — the length of a carrot. His eyebrows and eyelids are fully developed. And you can certainly feel him move. He's oblivious to your schedule, though, so don't be surprised if he starts working out just when you're settling down for the night. If you're having a girl, her vagina is formed now, though it will continue to develop until birth

Since You Asked...

Ok folks, here he is. This is a profile. The white spots are his spine and his nasal/sinus cavity.

Maybe this is easier. See its TOTALLY my chin. And he has his lips all puckered too. And from this angle it appears to be Matthew's neck...

20 weeks

I am sure you have all heard by now, but Baby is a boy!!!!!
Your pregnancy: 20 weeks

How your baby's growing:Your baby weighs about 10 1/2 ounces (or 13oz) now. She's also around 6 1/2 inches long from head to bottom, and about 10 inches from head to heel — the length of a banana. (For the first 20 weeks, we use measurements taken from the top of the baby's head to her bottom — known as the "crown to rump" measurement. After that, we use measurements from head to toe. This is because a baby's legs are curled up against her torso during the first half of pregnancy and are very hard to measure.)A greasy white substance called vernix caseosa coats her entire body to protect her skin during its long submersion in amniotic fluid. (This slick coating also eases the journey down the birth canal.)Your baby is swallowing more, which is good practice for her digestive system. She's also producing meconium, a black, sticky substance that's the result of cell loss, digestive secretion, and swallowed amniotic fluid. This meconium will accumulate in her bowels, and you'll see it in her first messy diaper (although a few babies pass it in utero or during delivery).

I am so freaking tired. I just cant catch up on sleep, no mater how early I get to bed. At some point (usually around 4) I wake up for an hour because I am too worried about something, that I cant do anything about at 4 in the morning anyway, so why worry about it... But its always something and always am and always an hour. And the hockey games dont help much, cuz we dont get home till 10 pm... I am thinking about not going tonight... Blasphemy, I know ( dont tell my husband) but I just want to go home and go to bed. I could be asleep now, cuz I dont have to be at work for another hour and a half. I could get an hour in but instead I am here, typing this, and listening to Bob and Mark. Nope I am going to tale a nap. Its 8:40 in the morning and I am going to take a nap. Sweet.

I actually have a ew moments to sit down and jot some things down... I am feeling pretty good but the aches and pains of pregnancy are starting to really set in. I am having more ligament pains and my feet hurt a lot of the time. (Work is really good about lettingme sit down when I need to.) And my fingers swell up by the end of the day, so I havent been wearing my wedding ring for fear that I wont be able to get it off. There have been a couple close calls, so I quit wearing it. I need to get a chain or something so I can wear it, I dont like not having it. We are all ready for Christmas around here, presents are being wrapped and meals planned... Too bad we have so long to wait!!! Friday is Baby Day, as we refer to it around here. And the days cant pass quickly enough... My appoinment is at 9:30 so at least I dont have to wait all day, but lets wait to see if I get any sleep the night before!!! LOL. Thats pretty much it. Tomorrow I hope to finish up my shopping and get the gifts sent off in reasonable time, otherwise you'll just have to wait, I guess. OH! Matthew had his Promotion Ceremony on Friday. It was kind of fun to go to and hear all thedifferent cheers. he Communications Flight had some REALLY funny ones. OK, have a good week and if I dont post anything before Friday, I'll do it then! HA!

19 Weeks

Your pregnancy: 19 weeks

How your baby's growing:Your baby weighs about 8 1/2 ounces, and he measures 6 inches, head to bottom — about the size of a large heirloom tomato. His arms and legs are in the right proportions to each other and the rest of his body now. His kidneys continue to make urine, and the hair on his scalp is sprouting. This is a crucial time for sensory development: Your baby's brain is designating specialized areas for smell, taste, hearing, vision, and touch. If your baby is a girl, she has an astonishing 6 million eggs in her ovaries. They'll dwindle to fewer than two million by the time she's born.

Christmas

I read a comment left on Amanda's blog about her real Christmas tree post. http://epigone.blogspot.com/2007/12/it-feels-lot-more-like-christmas-with.html#comments
And I feel kinda bad about the comment I left after... I know that it was a pseudo-hormone rant, and I say pseudo cuz its not as bad as what was going through my head. And I know that the reason I got so defensive is because I don't like anyone questioning or judging someone else's traditions. And that's what I felt like was happening. (its also what I am probably about to do, but I am blaming my hormones because this really upset me, and I am about to illustrate why)

(Now I don't know this girl and I am sure that's not the case, but its how I felt.) Because since I can't be home for Christmas every year, like I would want to be, those traditions are all the more precious to me. My memories of Christmas make this holiday more than just a day to me. We used to go, as a family, in the cab of Greenie to pick out the perfect tree. No matter what, we went together. Whether dad was working, or Amanda was embarrassed of her family, or I didn't want to go...We always went together and we sang carols the whole way. They would take our picture at the tree farm... and we would have cider and cookies. Then come home and decorate the tree. Playing Christmas CDs throughout the house, we would do it together. The house would be decorated and the lights put up outside...and that night I would lay on the couch, in the dark, with the tree lit up and just cherish those moments. Even as a child, I knew that this was special, and I would want to remember it forever. And I am so glad I used to do that because now I have those pictures of that tree in my head. Every year, on the Sunday before Christmas, we would have the Ervin family Christmas gift exchange where we would eat too much and gather everyone in Grandma's living room to open presents and play with new toys, and play games and take naps... Then on Christmas Eve we would go to church, then go to Grandma & Grandpa's in between services and have soup and crackers and Christmas goodies. And I would try so hard to stay awake to go to the Candlelight service, lol, when I was younger it was quite the challenge, but I loved the candle light service. "Is your Heart Prepared for a King?..." My favorite Advent Choir song. And when we got home from church, we would go to bed, and I would lie there, looking at the lights reflecting off the snow, and listening so hard for the sleigh bells to ring. And sometimes I was convinced I could hear them. That's the magic right? And Christmas morning, we would wait till everyone was up and dad had set up the video camera, and we would go downstairs to do stockings. We would sit around the sunroom and do stockings while mom drank coffee, and everyone made stupid jokes about the underwear the was inevitably in everyone's stocking. Then we would wait while dad (or Lew) set up the camera in the living room... And we would open presents. I love watching people open the presents from me, because when I pick out a present I put a lot of thought behind them. And I love to see their reactions to the gifts that I spent forever thinking of and finding. I would rather watch people open their presents from me, then receive anything myself. And we would stop in the middle somewhere for hot chocolate and tea ring. then commence with the presents. And then we would have Christmas dinner of crab legs and twice baked potatoes. And then we would get ready and go to Grandma Whitmer's house and visit with family there for the afternoon. Usually getting to bring one of our new toys to play with.

And I just want to ask, isn't it better that this real tree is decorated with love and family togetherness. Instead of sitting in a box, molding and forgotten? This real tree is decorated with love and ornaments that reflect a time, a year, in the life of the child who hung it on that branch, and every time it is hung on a tree, it brings back that time and that tradition. That soon to be discarded tree is never really 'DISCARDED" because it lives on, to this day, in the memory of the adult who was once that child with the magic of Christmas reflecting in her eyes. That's not sad...that's Christmas.

I love Christmas. And all of those memories don't lessen my Christmas's here, they just make me appreciate the traditions and magic of the season all the more. And I know that Matthew knows how much I value being with my family this time of the year, when we are not able to do that, I worry that he feels inadequate, like he cant make our Christmas live up to my memories. And I know that he cant, but I don't want him to try either. I want to make our OWN traditions and memories together. And when our baby gets here, I want us to make our own traditions so that someday, our kids can value those traditions like I do mine.

I can feel the baby moving!!! Right now as I lay here and type, I can feel it!! Its been going on for couple minutes, I thought it was just little bubbles cuz I just ate, but its still going. Heehee.

Christmas Blues

I guess its the season, or my hormones. But I have been pretty bummd lately. It is so dumb sometimes, like I was sittingin the living room, by myself, and I started crying cuz I was all by myself. And (putting Matthew aside for a moment, cuz knowing I always have him, is too logical of thinking for hormone induced fits) But I just feel all by myself... Jen is going to be leaving for Florida soon. Now that Charles is back from Iraq, they wont be here too much longer... I guess I am just bummed out. Tis the season.

I am still waiting to feel the baby move again. Sometimes I think I have and I am never sure. I wont worry too much, Cricket had a very strong heartbeat, and I have 11 days till our ultrasound. No word on the blood tests, so I am taking that as a good thing. (Remember it was the Quad Marker [for Downs or neural tube defects] and the CF screen) I am just ready to have my baby. I want my baby. I am ready to have the labor over and just have my baby. Anyhoo....

I also so want to be able to share this with my mom. Having my baby... I just value our relationship so much more now that I am going to be a mommy too. My mom is one of my best friends inthis whole world and it kills me that sh isnt a bigger part of this. But at the same time I am SO excited to make her and dad grandparents. It makes me so happy to do that, and to give them that gift. And that happiness helps fade the saddness. And when I have my baby in my arms, I know that all of that will disappear. Sometimes I feel guilty that I didnt keep my promise to wait till we were closer to home to have a baby, but the time was right for us and I couldnt change that. I could have put it off, but I wouldnt have been happy about it. This makes me happier than I have ever been in my whole life.

Sprouting

Matthew has been asking for about a month or so when I was going to "start sprouting?" I kept telling him that I am. These stretch marks arent for fun, you know. But last night we were in the kitchen, and he goes "You are getting big." See, I told you! I am not just making this up!!! LOL. I am going to go to Wal-Mart today and look at baby stuff to put on layaway. I cant help it. I need to. I am so tired of waiting... I want to put together my nursery. I am just so tired of waiting for something to happen. I have to start getting stuff. I am not having a shower so I wont be getting a ton of presents, so I have to pace out the buying of stuff, so I dont have to do it all at once. I suppose I could wait till after the 14th, when I maybe know what we are having, but that is what layaway is for, so I can take off anything inappropriate, and add on new stuff. Anyhoo, I need to go get something to eat. Got those crazy hiccups again.

You know out of everything that is going to happen to my body and emotions in the next few months, there is only one thing that scares me. That I actually worry about. And its not the labor, its not the pushing or the birth... Its not the pain. Its the thought that after a human rips its way out of my body, there are still other things that have to also come out in the following days. And its the thought of going to the bathroom AFTER makes me want to cry with anxiety. Why is it that the thought of having a baby does not worry me, but the thought of going #2 scares me, well, shitless. I am ok, with everything else, cuz I know that I can do it, and I have no ill concieved notions of being Super Woman, trying to do this au naturel. So I am ok with that...but...Anyway, that is what is new in the area of baby-ing.

Decorating for Christmas

Its Grizzly's turn to wear the santa outfit.

Matthew is putting up the tree.

Jackie's rug is back out. I wonder if she misses it during the rest of the year?

The kitties helping us decorate.

Jackie's new sleeping spoyt. She is so worn out from helping, she just drops.Oh Christmas Tree...Oh, Christmas Tree...

Gobble, Gobble

Matthew: preparing the turkey (read: removing the guts)
Our turkey: BEFORE

Or Turkey: AFTER you know you want some... so yummy, so moist...

Meat just falling off the bone, crispy skin...

Kitties lookinbg for their feast...

A few more while the pie bakes...

My one picture os Steven Tyler. You can tell its him, but it was the best I could do without going down into the craziness.

I took this picture for Lew. This is Kimbi Daniels, he always wears this visor on his helpmet but this blue one is new. I think it makes him look like those Lego Man Cops that would come with the Lego set. I thought he could appreciate it.
I silently laugh, cuz he looks so much like a Lego man...

Just some pictures for you

This is Matthew actually dusting. We moved the bookcase upstairs and the desktop compter downstairs, to make more room in the nursery.

This is what we found when we moved it. Think it may have ben a kitty hiding place? We did.

Matthew's stripes waiting for Decedmber 1st to be sewn on... The day he leaves behind SrA Rose and becomes SSgt Rose.

This is the box of food we got for Thanksgiving. As you can see there is A LOT of food here.

And it turned out GREAT!!!!

Happy Thanksgiving.

I thought I would remind you of what our weather was like this time last year.

And this would be what our weather is like today. Yes, that is GREEN grass, visible on THANKSGIVING!!!!!

I can add to my work frustrations, yesterday, Connie and I were the only people (out of five scheduled) to show up for work yesterday. I was so pissed. You dont not go to work on a Saturday!!!! So as a result I have to work today, my day off, my only day I get to spend all day with Matthew. My feet hurt so bad from being on them for 8 straight hours yesterday, cuz we were SOOOO busy. And no one else was willingly to come in to work, so my conscience wouldnt let me say no to Marie, even though they dicked me over on the game night thing. Why should I bend over backwards for you, if you are not willing to give me anything in return? And why couldnt Connie do it? Because she is starting her 9 days ff? She JUST had a four day weekend LAST weekend end so that means I have to work 6 days a week!?!? I can tell you right now I am going to be sitting most of today. I am tired and my feet hurt. And I am doing you a favor. Cant wait to hear what they say about Tuesday's Dr's appnt. Especially with Connie off. But I was just doing guest services anyway, and I am still going in, just leaving for a few hours in the middle. I will walk right out if they say anything to me. If I miss this appointment, I dont get another one until January!!! This is my baby!!! Anyway, to add to it yesterday, Saturdays are my days when I get to leave early and dont have to close. But since there were only two of us, I did have to close. And these stupid ladies from Oklahoma (dont sing they dont deserve it!!!!) came in at 5 till six (closing time) and browsed. For nothing in particular. And Connie did nothing to urge them along and she is SO slow. By the time they got to check out its like 15 after, but Connie is old and slow and we didnt start counting down the registers until 6:45. Game starts at 7:15. And then my drawer wouldnt balance so I had to fix that. OH, and this lady totally yelled at me, like flat out yelled at me and hormones and all made me cry. And then I get to the game that has already started and there are NO parking spots left. And I had to park like a mile away on the other side of the baseball field and walk through the ice and the snow... I was crying again, I almost turned around and went home. But I didn't. I stayed and had fun, saw Steven Tyler, we won in overtime. But it didnt make up for the crappy day. Jen is surprised how disillusioned I am already. Usually new employees are still fawning over working there. But I had to remind her that I have a higher expectation then most people. I worked in a shitty environment for two years, I can recognize the signs. And I will not let this become that. I dont think it will, I can just see things that I know shouldnt be happening, and I want them fixed. If you cant show up for work without so much as a call, you shouldnt be working. If you call in at least twice a week, we need to find someone to replace you, who will come in to work. and number one DONT SCREW OVER THE ONE GOOD EMPLOYEE YOU HAVE!!!!! Give them what they want and they will continue to be your bet employee. Screw them over and you can start coming in to work when none of your employee show up and no one is willing to go above and beyond. And you stand there scratching your head wondering what happened. Its not that I'm disillusioned, its that I am practical, informed and fair and I expect the people I work with to be the same. Maybe that is too much to expect, but I think it is a sad state of affairs when I have to stop expecting people to be fair. And the thing that irks me most is that I am supposed to still be in bed with my husband. this is the one day we can jut be together. I would be home from church, changed and back into bed without him even waking up. And then we would let the kitties in to cuddle and watch some Friends and then we were going to go out for breakfast. Now I lost that day. And those days are so limited now. Once the baby comes, I doubt we will have leisurely mornings to lay in bed and watch TV... This just sucks. The only thing that makes this tolerable is that Marie's actually pays overtime, time and a half and when this pay period is all said and done I will have a pretty penny in overtime pay, thanks to last nights suckiness, today' suckiness and the Day after Thanksgiving!!!

Steven Tyler, yes the Aerosmith Steven Tyler, was at the Aces game tonight. Apparently his girlfriend is from here. I have a picture I will post leter. Its not very good, but they wouldnt let anyone get anywhere near him. But he was sitting in the VIP box right below our seats. He's a VERY small man. A good gust of wind and he would be gone!!! But I was pretty star struck. Not like mom with Chris Isaac, but still Steven Tyler. Kinda cool huh?

I'm behind

I am falloing behind... I CANNOT believe it is the middle of November already!!!! I forgot how fast time went wehn you spend it looking forward to your next day off. I'm pretty pissed at work right now cuz when i had my interview I made it clear that we had tickets to the Aces, and game days I would need to be off by 6, t least, so I could go get Matthew and so on. Mary told me that was something we could work around...blah, blah, blah. So The new schedule came out AFTER I sent her an email reminding her of the fact, and I am told that they cant "schedule around games" so I am closing Wed, Thurs, and Fridays. I am so mad. Dont lie to me. If you couldnt do it, fine, I understand that, but dont lie to me and tell me that you can only to tell me the day before the game that you cant. Jen says they will try to pull stuff like that. you just cant let them. Well, I understand that I am new, and I have to pay my dues before I get good hours, but DONT LIE TO ME, I got enough of that from HER.

I dont think I am getting enough to eat. I need to start brining lotsd of food to work, cuz I am just not getting enough food. But we need to go grocery shopping, and I DO NOT want to go to the commissary the weekend before Thanksgiving, but I think we may have to. I am going to have to bring some fruits and vegetables and things to eat throughout the day. I work from 10am to 7 pm. thats alot of nutrients I am not getting and it is starting to concern me.

16 weeks

Your pregnancy: 16 weeks

How your baby's growing:At 4 1/2 inches long (head to bottom) and 3 1/2 ounces, your baby is about the size of an avocado. In the next three weeks, she'll go through a tremendous growth spurt, though, doubling her weight and adding inches to her length. Her lower limbs are much more developed now. Her head is more erect than it has been, and her eyes have moved toward the front of her head. Your baby's ears are close to their final position, too. Some of her more advanced body systems are working, including her circulatory system and urinary tract. Her heart is now pumping about 25 quarts of blood each day, circulating her total blood volume through her body many times. (By the end of your pregnancy, this will increase to about 190 quarts.) The patterning of her scalp has begun, though her hair isn't recognizable yet. Although closed, her eyes are moving (slowly), and she's even started growing toenails.

Fox

So if SHE-Devil didn't know I was working at Marie's, she knows now... I saw Debra Welch in our store the other day. She is the Cosmoproff rep from Seattle. The one we always hung out with and she got us in all of those cool things like the Graham Webb party, the one who is like BFF with Lori. So I am sure she went running out to tell her... oh well. Cant do anything about it I guess.

The funny thing is there are 10 girls who work there, including me and 5 of us worked for LA at one time or another. Jen and Car were there with me, but I don't know the other ones. So on slow days we sit around and tell horror stories, mine are by far the worst.

But I love working there. I get pretty tired, but I enjoy being there. I didn't realize how much I missed Jen.

It snowed yesterday. Finally. Record fall for the date... since 1944 or something... Thought I would mention it.

I am beyond miserable right now. my head is SO stuffed up. I wish I knew whether this was a cold that I could get rid of or this increased mucus production I keep reading about. If that is the case, then it could last for the next five months. But I am having so much trouble sleeping. I took a Sudafed so I wasn't AS stuffed up, but my throat was SOOO dry that my tongue would get stuck to my mouth and I would wake up. so tonight I will know to take the Sudafed AND set up the humidifier. And I am having a hard time eating. I don't want to eat anything. Which I know wont hurt Cricket cuz I have lots of reserves, but it makes Matthew worry. He made me eat a ham and cheese sandwich last night, which was really sweet, but I had to choke the thing down cuz I did NOT want it. Anyway, I am already completely sick of blowing my nose. I just have to live through this for 10 more days. Then I can talk to Dr. Ostrand about something, anything I could do about this "increased mucus".

I get my first paycheck today... I have to choke down some breakfast first.

15 weeks

Your pregnancy: 15 weeks

How your baby's growing:Your growing baby now measures about 4 inches long, crown to rump, and weighs in at about 2 1/2 ounces (about the size of an apple). She's busy moving amniotic fluid through her nose and upper respiratory tract, which helps the primitive air sacs in her lungs begin to develop. Her legs are growing longer than her arms now, and she can move all of her joints and limbs. Although her eyelids are still fused shut, she can sense light. If you shine a flashlight at your tummy, for instance, she's likely to move away from the beam. There's not much for your baby to taste at this point, but she is forming taste buds. Finally, if you have an ultrasound this week, you may be able to find out whether your baby's a boy or a girl! (Don't be too disappointed if it remains a mystery, though. Nailing down your baby's sex depends on the clarity of the picture and on your baby's position. He or she may be modestly curled up or turned in such a way as to "hide the goods.")

I have two new (read pregnancy related) stretch marks on my tummy, above my belly button. I am getting bigger, I know. But I wasnt ready for stretch marks yet. Not yet. Four months is too soon to be getting them. At least that is what I think. lol.

Work is going good. I had to close my drawer all by myself tonight... I did ok. I was pretty nervous, and felt kind of pressured to finish fast cuz everyone was waiting for me to finish. You cant leave till everyone is done, and I was, of course, the last one. And I felt like I was holding everyone up from going home. But I dont think I screwed up too much.

I had my first lost baby dream. I dreamt that I had the baby and I put it somewhere and I couldn't find it again. So I spent the rest of the dream trying to find where I put the baby. Never did find it again. And then I dreamt that I went into labor and instead of going to the hospital I was at mom and dad's and decided to lay on the sidewalk by the shed and have my baby there. Something about if cats could do it... Interesting thing is these dreams are less vivid then in the first trimester but they are more baby themed. (obviously)

14 Weeks

Your pregnancy: 14 weeks

How your baby's growing:This week's big developments: Your baby can now squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his thumb! Thanks to brain impulses, his facial muscles are getting a workout as his tiny features form one expression after another. His kidneys are producing urine, which he releases into the amniotic fluid around him — a process he'll keep up until birth. He can grasp, too, and if you're having an ultrasound now, you may even catch him sucking his thumb.In other news: Your baby's stretching out. From head to bottom, he measures 3 1/2 inches — about the size of a lemon — and he weighs 1 1/2 ounces. His body's growing faster than his head, which now sits upon a more distinct neck. By the end of this week, his arms will have grown to a length that's in proportion to the rest of his body. (His legs still have some lengthening to do.) He's starting to develop an ultra-fine, downy covering of hair, called lanugo, all over his body. Your baby's liver starts making bile this week — a sign that it's doing its job right — and his spleen starts helping in the production of red blood cells. Though you can't feel his tiny punches and kicks yet, your little pugilist's hands and feet (which now measure about 1/2 inch long) are more flexible and active.

Happy Halloween!!

So it has been a couple days... my feet still kinda hurt, but not as bad as last week. I went in a Monday and did the three hour glucose test. It wasn't as bad as the first one in that I didn't get sick, so that's good. And for four draws they only poked me five times, which is REALLY good for them. Usually just for one draw, it averages from four to six pokes. But I feel better about this cuz they took a fasting draw so they have a baseline at least. and then they drew blood every hour so hopefully, the results will be better and show that my body is processing the sugar ok.

Work is going pretty ok. Bunky is still getting on my nerves. Mainly cuz she keeps saying the f-word, and in front of customers. I just don't like that word, especially in the work place. Oh, well, I cant do anything about it, I'm not her boss. Sometimes I slip into that mindset, though. That manager mindset and so sometimes I am a little embarrassed like I overstepped my bounds. But in my interview Mary hinted at me about the fact that she didn't have a retail manager, so if she has that in her mind or if that is a possibility, then I shouldn't feel badly about showing that side of me. I am trying desperately not to catch the flu that EVERYONE has had there except for me and Connie, and now Connie thinks she may be getting it too. And she is the one I spend the most time with so I am a little concerned. I've been thinking about going and getting a flu shot, but I have never had one before so I am not sure if it will make me sick or not. But I read that if I get one it has to be the one made with dead flu bugs. So anyway, All seems to be a good so far. I have gotten down all the steps to closing, for the most part... lol.

A few of us dressed up for Halloween today. I didn't really do anything special cuz I wasn't planning on dressing up, but a couple of the girls begged me to so I did. Heehee. I guess wore a suit and my vampire teeth. It was a joke more for me and Jen cuz I said I was a she-devil named Lori. We had a good laugh about it, but no one else knew what we were talking about. I enjoyed it...heehee. Katrina's was funny too. She is 8 months preggo and she had a white shirt and drew around her belly and colored it pink and had bunny ears and a tail. Cuz you know those rabbits, having all those babies...lol. I had to chuckle.

I found out that my friend, Danielle, is moving back to Alaska this summer. I am so excited. She left and moved to the Orca Islands in Washington after she quit LA Style. Anyway, after her baby is born (she's eight days ahead of me) her and Chris are moving back. Yay. I miss her so much and maybe having a few extra months with her will make it that much harder when I leave... but I never really got to say good bye when she moved, so there is this unresolved thing... But anyway, I am really excited that she is coming back. Especially since Jen may be moving as soon as May.... Her and Charles will be going to Florida. So having Danielle back will help with losing Jen. So there is some good news. I have two hours till fasting begins. This is going to suck, I just know it. Tomorrow will be the day I wake up starving because I CANT eat anything. I can have water though, o I am hoping that will be enough to get me through. I am just going to bring the DVD player and watch a bunch of friends while i am sitting there. I just don't have anything to read, everything I have, I have read a billion times and am bored with. Oh well, I'll just go get it over with. Then I have to go to the Fed-Ex place and pick up a package. they are not the most obliging people at the Fed-Ex store. Not to say I am partial to UPS or anything, but they are just not very flexible. I have to sign for the package which is fine, except I am at work during the day, which are the same hours that they are open. SO I called and asked if they could hold the package till Monday when i had a day off. I cant exactly take time off work to go over there and pick up the package. And the guy on the phone made a big deal about holding it two extra days. Like I am putting them so out of the way. Whatever, its your job. He's like "you better call first thing in the morning and make sure they don't send your package back, but I'll make a note here, but you have to call." Whatever, buttmunch.

Ok, now that I have a little more time, I can expand on why I thought I had cancer. So the hospital was trying to get a hold of me on Thursday, but our phones are so weird and businesses and stuff cant get through. I don't know why. It is only certain places, but oh lets let in all the telemarketers and no number calls! Anyhoo, the hospital gets a hold of Matthew at work, and tells hi to tell me to call them, cuz there was an issue with my blood tests. And they give him two numbers, one to Maj. Ostrand and another to a Capt Leader. So I call Ostrand first since she is the one I had my appointment with. No answer. So I call the other one and I hear this voice message "You have reached the dysplasia Clinic. If you are calling to make an appointment please leave your name"....blah blah blah. Dysplasia, huh? That sounds familiar, what is it? At this point I am sitting in the parking lot at work. I call mom. Mom looks it up, cant find it. Says she'll call me back. I am trying to hold in the tears, thinking they found yet another thing wrong with me. I go inside. Mom calls back tells me that it is precancerous cells on the cervix. I lose it. No rational thinking allowed at this point. I am literally on the floor of my new work bawling. Because I hear cancer and link that with the fact that they got this from my blood test...everyone following this panic train of thought?? So at this point, I have not gotten a hold of either person. I am convinced that I have inherited more from my mom than the gap in her front teeth, and now she knows it too. I FINALLY get a hold of the Capt Leader person, and she tells me that my blood sugar was a little high and that I needed to come in to do another test. WHAT?!?!?!? that's IT? I am convinced I am dying and all it is is a glucose issue?? So I call mom back, she starts crying in relief, which sets me off again. And now I have to go and explain all of this to the people I just met four days ago, that I am not crazy, that there was a problem with my tests, and that we thought it was worse than what it was. And I don't want to downplay Gestational Diabetes or anything, but it doesn't seem that bad when a moment before you thought you had cancer. Well, not I know how I will react if I ever do get that news...not well. All I have to say is that maybe that isn't the BEST outgoing message to put on the voicemail if you get calls from people who DON'T HAVE dysplasia. If you are going to give that number to a variety of people, maybe you say something else. Just a thought.

No remember that I said all rational thinking was out the door at that point. If I had thought about it I would have realized that there was no way that was possible and that you cant detect cervical cancer in your blood, and considering my pap in July was fine, all of this ridiculous. But why else would they refer me to that clinic, i was thinking. Anyway, I have to get to work.

What a freakin day...

What a day. After a very scary mistake with the hospital, I have to go back in on Monday and do the three hour glucose test, cuz my sugar was a bit high. SO I have to do that on Monday. I am really not looking forward to it!!!! On a positive note though, at work they have a weekly contest where Mary chooses a random day of the week and the person who has the highest sales for that day, wins $100. Pretty cool right? Even cooler if you know that day was yesterday and that I won. I had the highest sales yesterday. Yes, that's right, I am awesome. Its ok, you can say it. Hahahahaha. So that helped me feel better about the fact that I started the day thinking that I might have cancer. (see scary mistake, right? letme tell ya, it was a rough morning, just ask my mom!) After thinking that, gestational diabetes sounds like a walk in the park, trust me!!!

13 Weeks

Your pregnancy: 13 weeks

How your baby's growing:Fingerprints have formed on your baby's tiny fingertips, her veins and organs are clearly visible through her still-thin skin, and her body is starting to catch up with her head — which makes up just a third of her body size now. If you're having a girl, she now has more than 2 million eggs in her ovaries. Your baby is almost 3 inches long (the size of a medium shrimp) and weighs nearly an ounce.

Second day

went ok. Still pretty slow. But I am getting a feel for the store and for the people. Everyone is pretty ok. Bunky revealed a new level of her weirdness in that she started crying today to the point of hyperventilating, and then all of a sudden she stopped and was fine. She has some MAJOR issues.

Anyway, the weather sucks. its raining/snowing right now which will make tomorrow morning HORRIBLE after the melting snow/rain freezes. This morning was bad enough when there was an accident on the Government Hill bridge, and shut down traffic, so I had to go all the way around, and I get to the gate and they've locked down the base, and all I can think is that I am going to be late on my second day. After I made such a deal about never being late. Cuz I'm not. I HATE being late. If the military has taught me anything, its that you arrive 15 minutes early (or you lose your appnt). I said I am never late, if I am late its cuz something happened and I am on the side of the road, dying. SO I called Mary and let her know what was happening. I wasn't late, but I was close.

My feet are really killing me today. I thought it was bad yesterday, but this sucks. Matt's gonna be cranky when he gets home cuz he called at 6:45 and the UPS man hadn't even come to get the packages yet. So he will be pretty pissed, so I don't want to make him rub my feet...

First Day...

went Jim dandy. My drawer balanced a-ok o0n the first try so that is always good. My feet are KILLING me!!!!! And my knees. And because of the joys in my life it decided to snow for the first time. Not a whole lot but enough to bring out the snow-tards. On the day I HAVE to leave the house. But it is nice to be among the people again. I absolutely HATE not knowing what to do. And Connie doesn't really give me any credit to logical thinking, but I can understand why that would be. I am sure that she has had to deal with a few dumb people in training, as I have, so I can relate. But the thing that really bugged me (Besides Bunky, but I'll get to her, yes, her) was that every time I was helping someone, or recommending a product or answering a question she would come over and hover. And butt in to my answers. I am pretty sure I had it handled. I know how to sell product, trust me, give a me a few more days to get the computer system down and I will show you what I can do.

So then there's Bunky. i have no idea if that is her real name, but Bunky? Are you serious? How am I supposed to talk to you when your name is Bunky? Anyway, Jen and I already don't like her. It was so funny cuz Bunky was talking and I was just rolling my eyes and trying to find an out, leaving Jen to fend for herself. And while this may not be good friend etiquette, but I have dealt with her all day. And about 30 seconds later Jen walks over and she's like "I don't think I like her." I'm just like "yep." So we'll see how THAT goes. She started on Saturday, so she is training too, so we will be working together for at least two weeks. But she was a good for one thing, gossip. Apparently, about a year ago a certain ex-boss of mine had Ralph arrested also. Yeah, I know. And please take this with a grain of salt, as I did, cuz you know how gossip is. Anyway, apparently they got in a big fight in the store, and she started hitting him and he defended himself and I guess hit her back, so she called the cops. Had him arrested at the 5th Ave store. (sound familiar?) Told the cops 'This n***er hit me' and n-word this and n-word that. At first when she was telling me this, I was thinking ok this sounds familiar, and I thought maybe she was talking about me. You know, the story got told so many times my name got replaced with his, and you know the telephone game syndrome. So I was like "when did this happen?" and she said about a year ago. So I am curious to know if he is still there. I mean if he is he is stupider than I thought. But the good thing is that I was ok with hearing about her. I mean, I didn't tremble or anything.
But all-in-all, it was a pretty darn good day. Except for my feet. The feet are NOT doing well.

First Day, first snow

Yep, the day I HAVE to leave the house is the day it snows. Not much, but enough to actuvate the Snow-tarded to forget how to drive. I am glad I dont have too far to go. About the same as the MS office and I made it through winter driving there! I am a little nervous, for today. I am hoping that I only have to work until three or so... You know, ease into it. I am so not ready to spend all day there yet. But if I have to then I will, of course, but I am going to be TIRED. Which is ok, cuz then I will be able to go to sleep early. But there is an Aces game tonight, away game, so we will be watching it at home... I probably will not make it through.

Stupid lab

I hope that I don't have many experiences with the lab left. Today was another nightmare. I know I have at least two times, one for my Multiple Marker Screen thing, if I chose to have that, and I have to do the glucose test once more. Which I am SOOOO not looking forward to! So I had to drink this nasty drink that tasted like a sweet Sierra Mist, which wasn't too bad at first, but the last two drinks were HORRIBLE. And the lady is like ok you can drink water, but stay where we can see you (in case, or seizure or coma) and don't vomit if you vomit the test is over and you'll have to do it again. So this whole time I am thinking its a urine test, so I am not using the bathroom, and I have to sit around for an hour, reading and having to pee... So turns out it is a blood test. So I get called in (still having to pee) and it takes five tries and two different people to draw the five vials of blood. Finally we are done and I just stand up, "excuse me but now I am going to go pee and throw up." The whole time I was sitting there I was just trying not to vomit, cuz there is NO WAY I am doing this again. It just keeps coming up the back of my throat and the sheer will of not wanting to drink that vile drink again kept it down. My stomach just kept trying to get rid of it, and since I wouldn't let it, it turned on me. I went grocery shopping after I was done... and the food everywhere... It was NOT pleasant. And I am going to have a talk with Tom about his boy baggers. Just because they cam lift that bag does not mean that I can. Let alone a trunk full of them..Especially when I ask to make them a little lighter. "I'm pregnant" I say "And I don't have anyone to help me carry these in, can you make them a little lighter." And what do I get? I get ALL of my cans in one bag (double bagged) Two gallons of milk in one bag, double bagged. Why double bag it? Separate it, and you use the same amount of bags, and I don't have a miscarriage bringing them into my house. Ridiculous.

FREEE-DOOOM (You get that this is Braveheart, right?)

All joking aside, today is my last day of unemployed freedom. (Sorry I just cant help not saying it with a Scottish accent, even just in my head...Damn Mel Gibson get out of my head) Which is rather bittersweet. I will miss sleeping in as long as I want to and I will miss my naps, lol. But I am so sick of being bored and I am looking forward to joining the real world again. I am a little nervous about working with the public again, I still have a week before I can get my flu shot and I can tell you I am NOT intending to get the flu!!! And I am ready to be me again. I dont suppose you can really understand if you didnt know me a couple years ago during the honeymoon stage at LA. I miss having my hair done. Not having to wax my own eyebrows. I am really high maintanence. I mean I can also live without all of that stuff, but I rather not. I mean I am the girl who had her nails painted a different color EVERY day of her frashman year, right?

Yeah, anyway, so how shall spend my last day of freedom? At the hospital, getting some tests done that I forgot to do last week. I have to go do my CF screen (cystic fibrosis) to see if I'm a carrier, and I have to do my Glucose test early, so I get to go drink some intense sugar water and wait around an hour to see how my body is handling glucose, to check for gestational diabetes. For those of you who have had to do this, yes it is really early, but my eight is NOT on my side for this one, so they will actually do this test twice, now and then the normal time around 28 weeks or so. So yay, I have a GREAT day ahead of me, Oh, and I have to go get groceries too. I just have to try to get to sleep early tonight since I have to start getting up in the morning. Ok, so I guess I have bored you enough with my life... I'll let you know how tomorrow goes. I am anticipating a good day

Ok, so I went to the more traditional church today, and it was a bit TOO traditional for me. I don't know if I liked it. Which is a bummer cuz its more convenient than the other one and the service starts later... But I cant go if I feel uncomfortable. Which I really did, not because I was the new one, but It was horribly long and the Pastor wasn't mic'ed up so I could barely hear anything that was going on. So I don't know. I mean I can live with it, but I hate to settle. But I like that its right on Boniface, instead of in town, especially when it starts to snow. I guess since I have Sundays off I could go to the later service at the other church I was going to try, that would give me some time to get there if the weather sucks... Shopping for a new church kinda sucks. Oh, well, it has to be done. Anyway, the service was the communion service I remember from when I was little, so much so that when we sang "This is the Feast" I flashed back to sitting by grandma and grandpa and playing with the gorilla/monkey ladder thing so always had in her purse, and the dolls with the big heads and lots of hair. And I had to choke back the tears at the thought of grandpa. I almost had to leave... Strange how a song can transport you so vividly to another time and place, isn't it?

:)

I have been so giggly all day. I decided to go to Subway to celebrate. I know it doesnt sound like much, but it was SOOO good. And I want more, lol. Tomorrow I am going to go put my crib on layaway and I want to go to Michael's to get stuff to make a quilt or a blanket, or something, for Cricket. I want ot make something, I dont know, I'll just go and look. I'm limited inmy abilities since I dont have a sewing machine. Anyway, I'm glad it was a good day. I am going to have to alter y sleep schedule though. I am going to have to be asleep by 9 or 10 to get the same amount of sleep... Not going to be able to have my naps anymore. Boy, I'll miss my naps.

Thanks for the positive thoughts

I GOT THE JOB!!!!!!! I GOT IT, I GOT IT, I GOT IT!!!!!!!!! I start on Tuesday! I am so happy! SO HAPPY. Yayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayay!!! I need to celebrate!

Price is Right

I watched my first episode of Price is Right without Bob. I wasnt sure... I mean how can it still exist without Bob. Granted it's not the same, but I think Drew Carey was a good choice. I mean I wasnt put off by him being the host, he wasnt trying to be funny or anything, he just hosted the show, and I still enjoyed it...after I got over the shock of not seeing Bob, but still, I didnt mind Drew and by the end I didnt even notice. So life does go on after Bob Barker.

Marie's update

I went in for a second interview today. Kinda a wrap up and we discussed details like pay rate and things like that. And she went into a little more detail as to why she has been a bit hesitant to call me. And this definitely WAS NOT a surprise, but after the LA scandal, Lori called Mary (and everyone else around town) to tell them not to hire me. Not surprised at all since every time she "fired" Ralph, she did the same thing. But from the beginning of this process I was totally honest about what happened, and wasn't trying hide anything, cuz Mary even said that I was not obligated to tell her anything, but I told her that I have nothing to hide. This terrible thing happened to me, but I cant change that, so I learned my lessons that came from it, took those with me, and am trying my best to move on from it. I am not going to lie, I am not going to hide it from her, I have no reason to. Anyway, she has another person that she has been considering, but she is making her decision tomorrow, and I will hear by 3pm either way. But she was very positive. And we ended up talking, just on a personal level, about the company, and how it is a family company. At its core it is family, and the people who work there are family, but it is also very by the book in its business practices. (Which is a refreshing change) And has high expectations of its employees. Which I can totally appreciate. It just seems like the place I so wanted LA to be. What I was fighting against the tides to make it, what it would never be able to become. I am just saying my silent prayers... And she was totally cool with the being PG thing. She just asked me what my intentions for maternity leave would be. And I told her straight out I will return to work as soon as I can, because I have to, I wish I had the choice, but we are a two income household. When I come back it might be part time, to start out, but I will be back as soon as I can. So I am nervous, but I don't know. If this doesn't happen, I am going to be devastated. But I think that knowing Jen, and having her endorsement is definitely a plus for me. Because Mary trusts Jen's opinion 100 times more than what Lori could ever tell her about me. (Which wouldn't be much unless she started lying) But I told Mary that I was just sick of hiding from my past. From hiding from Lori. And that I was ready to take my life back. And she told me that I have absolutely no reason to hide from anything, so I think that was a good sign. But I don't want to get my hopes up any higher or else it is going to HURT when/if I come crashing down.

12 Weeks

Your pregnancy: 12 weeks

How your baby's growing:Your baby's hit the 2-inch mark (about the size of a lime) and weighs half an ounce. Her face is beginning to look more human. Her eyes, which started out on the sides of her head, have moved closer together on her face, and her ears are near their final positions on the sides of her head. Your baby's intestines, which have grown so rapidly that they protrude into the umbilical cord, will start to move into her abdominal cavity about now. Her kidneys are secreting urine into her bladder. Her nerve cells have been multiplying rapidly, and synapses (neurological pathways in the brain) are forming. Your baby may have acquired more reflexes by now, including sucking, and she'll even squirm if you prod your abdomen, though you still won't be able to feel her movement for several weeks.

P.S.

My pants dont fit anymore. Unless they have a bit of stretch and I dont button them... Most of my dress pants dont fit... So I had to get some from JC Penny's to wear to Marie's and stuff. Cant walk around with my pants unbuttoned!!! lol.

Pumpkin Ban!?!

Ok, so its not really a ban but it might as well be!!! The Wildlife Officers on base have issued a notice that Halloween pumpkins can only be displayed outside from October 29 through November 2nd. That's it? 5 days of Halloween fun? Cuz moose LOVE pumpkins, and come into housing to eat the pumpkin treats, we cant have pumpkins outside. You can have artificial pumpkins outside and real pumpkins inside, but that's not natural. And to top it all off, if you decide to defy the new ordinance it will result in a $110 fine. $110 pumpkin? Ruin my Halloween. Oh, AND they made Trick-Or-Treating at 3 o'clock in the afternoon. WHAT!?!?!?!?! Who is home at 3pm except a few stay at home moms and people who are sleeping cuz they work the night shift!?! I mean I realize they want to do it when there is more light, so its safer, and I realize that if they make it around 4 or 5 pm there is A LOT of traffic cuz that's rush hour on base, when people are getting off work, but is a bit ridiculous. And I am kinda peeve, cuz I bought all this candy for the kids, which neither me OR Matthew need to be eating, but neither of us are going to be available to answer the door. Matthew isn't going to wake up to do it, that's right in the middle of his night, and I am not going to be home, even if I was the doorbell would be ringing constantly, waking him up anyway... Halloween is shaping up to be a big fat let-down.

And this one is just for fun...

Pink ice: Preseason Hockey

Ok, so I said that I would pots pictures from the pink ice games,and I am finally getting around to it!!! There were two games. The first night was Cancer Awareness and the second night was Breast Cancer Awareness. It was a fun time for a good cause.



I didnt think it looked quite as bad as that picture in the ADN made it look, but it was interesting.

The jerseys were pretty neat.

This is Becks, our goalie fro Peoria, and Troy Riddle who used to play for us. they were both on the Kelly Cup team.

Zamboni-ing the ice

This would be the line to get the limited edition pink cow bells. Shown below. And yes that is a line on BOTH sides of the cage.

The highly coveted bell that they sold out of. They could have sold hundreds more if they had ordered more. Next time they'll know.

And this would be Bo Cheesman. He is one of the new additions to the team, and he is already a fan favorite. For good reason, he is excited to play for Alaska, he is talented and fun to watch. Anyway, they auctioned off the jerseys after the second game. Mr. Cheesman's new found fame got $4700 for his jersey. The highest bid for the night. Insane for a player who hadnt even actually made the team roster yet. (Even though there is no doubt in ANYONE's mind that he will be on that roster.)

Ok, these hormones better level off soon cuz these hot/cold flashes are freakin ridiculous!!!! I shouldn't have to deal with this for at LEAST another 20 years!!!!! Sometimes I am so hot, I cant breathe. Like being in a small closet, on a hot day, without any ventilation. That's how I feel in this house. But I cant open the windows cuz that will just kick on the heaters and make it even worse. So here is hoping that I don't have much longer with this part. Ridiculous!

Randomness on this Sunday

Still no snow. Well, I should clarify, still no snow on our side of base. It has snowed several times over on the other side of base, our side is still getting rain, which is ok with me. But snow is in the forecast for everyday starting Tuesday. We'll see. Probably by the end of the week, but not earlier than that. I am staying home that day. I know it isn't ready to snow yet cuz me knee hasn't been hurting. I know when its ready to snow cuz my Old Lady knee starts to KILL me with pain, then I know its about a day away or so. And it doesn't hurt at all yet. The radio shows kept saying that this weekend was going to be the "big" first snow, you know the one that sticks, but I kept saying "nope, it wont, my knee doesn't hurt" So I was gloating about being right, and Matthew just looks at me and says "I never argued with you. I never said you were wrong." I don't care, I like being right, so I will gloat even if you agree with me!!! He's like "I know." lol. Poor boy. Oh well, if I have to deal with his nagging he had to deal with my gloating. lol.

I made some coffee today. It was glorious!!! My doc says its ok to have a little bit of caffeine, just don't overdo it. So I made a couple cups of coffee. She said it will probably help with my headaches a little bit. Since they may be a withdrawal symptoms from cutting caffeine completely out of my diet. But the down side is that my headaches could be coming from the hormone progesterone, also. So she said that the rise in hormones should be leveling up in the next two weeks or so, and the headaches should taper off. That is as long as it isn't my neck, which is also a possibility. I have found a chiropractor that I am considering going to. He is from Illinois, and went to Palmer. I just haven't gone. Add to the list of things I want to do, but dent have the means to do it. Mom said she would help out, cuz she knows its important, but I have yet to do it.

One thing I have done, is found a church to go to. Well, a couple actually that I want to try. I went to one this morning, and it was good, alot like Zion. And its right outside the gates on Boniface, so that is conveient. There is another one, more in the downtown area that I will try next month. But I need to rekindle my faith life. I know it is horribly lacking, and I feel like I need to do this, especially now that I am pregnant. I guess I made the realization when we started to try to get pg. I was praying that God would give us this gift and I felt guilty for asking for such a wonderful gift from Him. And I should never feel guilty for praying, but I did, because I felt like what have I done in my faith to make me feel that I have a right to ask such a thing? To be granted such a wonderful request when I haven't prayed in what was probably months at that point. So I need to heal my spiritual being before I can properly bring another into this world. Is that why I was granted my wish so quickly? Because He knew that it would save me from my lazy faith? Probably. But I cannot bring my child before Him in the Sacrament of Baptism with my faith in the condition that it is in. I mean, it hasn't gone anywhere. i believe as much as I every did, but I feel empty in my belief, because it isn't complete. I don't have a church family. And I know I need that. So I have begun my journey back to Him, and that is important. So in 6 months I can stand at the Baptismal Font and present my child to God with a pure heart. A healed heart.

Random crap

My abdomen feels weird today. Like hard. Its weird, cuz its not really from the outside, its the inside, like if I contract my muscles I can only go so far and I hit a wall. Its weird. Anyway, last night's game as SO much better than the first, AND we won. Which as an added bonus, cuz we won in the last two minutes or so. It was fun. MUCH better than the Wednesday game, cuz that was just awkward and uncomfortable, cuz you could tell them weren't used to playing together, and it was like the fourth time on ice together, the second time in the Sully. So we had fun. We are hoping that the old lady we were next to isn't a season ticket holder. She is a large butted woman, and makes it uncomfortable, plus she talks all the time and says stupid stuff. Anyway, here's hoping for a season without have to deal with her. I am still waiting on the job thing. I am going to call later this afternoon, just to check in. I want to take a nap, but I don't know if I will. I have to go get more milk, of course, what else is new? I'm gonna go later though, I just don't have the energy to get up right now.

Mom sent me the Premium Greens powder that she has been taking. It really helped with the heartburn, but I gag drinking it. I don't know why, it doesn't really taste bad, per say, I just cant drink it. So the doctor told me that I need to get more protein, so I have been making protein shakes, and I have found that I can put one scoop in the protein shake so its less intense. But the protein helped. I wish I could get two scoops in , but I figure one is enough for now. Maybe I will need two later on if I need to start getting things moving, which has been a bit of a problem, if I don't drink my 64 oz of water a day. But I have read it can get really bad. Anyway, on a less TMI subject, the protein shakes should help with the protein thing. SO that is one less thing to be concerned about. I do worry a bit that I am getting my protein and my vegetables from a powder, but its not like that's ALL I'm eating, it just to make sure I am getting enough of everything.

I have decided to go look at new glasses. Back in January, when I went to the eye doctor he gave me a prescription for my glasses, but I am thinking it may be time for new ones. I kind of feel like these are just too small for my eyes. They were fine when I was 14 when I got them, but now I just don't feel like they are a good fit cuz there is so much around them, like my peripheral vision is non existent, so it hurts my eyes cuz if I turn my glance, then I have to constantly adjust from seeing "clearly" and not seeing at all. And I say "clearly" cuz I don't even remember the last time I got the prescription updated... Just one more thing that will probably never happen...