Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Happy Halloween!!

So it has been a couple days... my feet still kinda hurt, but not as bad as last week. I went in a Monday and did the three hour glucose test. It wasn't as bad as the first one in that I didn't get sick, so that's good. And for four draws they only poked me five times, which is REALLY good for them. Usually just for one draw, it averages from four to six pokes. But I feel better about this cuz they took a fasting draw so they have a baseline at least. and then they drew blood every hour so hopefully, the results will be better and show that my body is processing the sugar ok.

Work is going pretty ok. Bunky is still getting on my nerves. Mainly cuz she keeps saying the f-word, and in front of customers. I just don't like that word, especially in the work place. Oh, well, I cant do anything about it, I'm not her boss. Sometimes I slip into that mindset, though. That manager mindset and so sometimes I am a little embarrassed like I overstepped my bounds. But in my interview Mary hinted at me about the fact that she didn't have a retail manager, so if she has that in her mind or if that is a possibility, then I shouldn't feel badly about showing that side of me. I am trying desperately not to catch the flu that EVERYONE has had there except for me and Connie, and now Connie thinks she may be getting it too. And she is the one I spend the most time with so I am a little concerned. I've been thinking about going and getting a flu shot, but I have never had one before so I am not sure if it will make me sick or not. But I read that if I get one it has to be the one made with dead flu bugs. So anyway, All seems to be a good so far. I have gotten down all the steps to closing, for the most part... lol.

A few of us dressed up for Halloween today. I didn't really do anything special cuz I wasn't planning on dressing up, but a couple of the girls begged me to so I did. Heehee. I guess wore a suit and my vampire teeth. It was a joke more for me and Jen cuz I said I was a she-devil named Lori. We had a good laugh about it, but no one else knew what we were talking about. I enjoyed it...heehee. Katrina's was funny too. She is 8 months preggo and she had a white shirt and drew around her belly and colored it pink and had bunny ears and a tail. Cuz you know those rabbits, having all those I had to chuckle.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

I found out that my friend, Danielle, is moving back to Alaska this summer. I am so excited. She left and moved to the Orca Islands in Washington after she quit LA Style. Anyway, after her baby is born (she's eight days ahead of me) her and Chris are moving back. Yay. I miss her so much and maybe having a few extra months with her will make it that much harder when I leave... but I never really got to say good bye when she moved, so there is this unresolved thing... But anyway, I am really excited that she is coming back. Especially since Jen may be moving as soon as May.... Her and Charles will be going to Florida. So having Danielle back will help with losing Jen. So there is some good news. I have two hours till fasting begins. This is going to suck, I just know it. Tomorrow will be the day I wake up starving because I CANT eat anything. I can have water though, o I am hoping that will be enough to get me through. I am just going to bring the DVD player and watch a bunch of friends while i am sitting there. I just don't have anything to read, everything I have, I have read a billion times and am bored with. Oh well, I'll just go get it over with. Then I have to go to the Fed-Ex place and pick up a package. they are not the most obliging people at the Fed-Ex store. Not to say I am partial to UPS or anything, but they are just not very flexible. I have to sign for the package which is fine, except I am at work during the day, which are the same hours that they are open. SO I called and asked if they could hold the package till Monday when i had a day off. I cant exactly take time off work to go over there and pick up the package. And the guy on the phone made a big deal about holding it two extra days. Like I am putting them so out of the way. Whatever, its your job. He's like "you better call first thing in the morning and make sure they don't send your package back, but I'll make a note here, but you have to call." Whatever, buttmunch.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Ok, now that I have a little more time, I can expand on why I thought I had cancer. So the hospital was trying to get a hold of me on Thursday, but our phones are so weird and businesses and stuff cant get through. I don't know why. It is only certain places, but oh lets let in all the telemarketers and no number calls! Anyhoo, the hospital gets a hold of Matthew at work, and tells hi to tell me to call them, cuz there was an issue with my blood tests. And they give him two numbers, one to Maj. Ostrand and another to a Capt Leader. So I call Ostrand first since she is the one I had my appointment with. No answer. So I call the other one and I hear this voice message "You have reached the dysplasia Clinic. If you are calling to make an appointment please leave your name"....blah blah blah. Dysplasia, huh? That sounds familiar, what is it? At this point I am sitting in the parking lot at work. I call mom. Mom looks it up, cant find it. Says she'll call me back. I am trying to hold in the tears, thinking they found yet another thing wrong with me. I go inside. Mom calls back tells me that it is precancerous cells on the cervix. I lose it. No rational thinking allowed at this point. I am literally on the floor of my new work bawling. Because I hear cancer and link that with the fact that they got this from my blood test...everyone following this panic train of thought?? So at this point, I have not gotten a hold of either person. I am convinced that I have inherited more from my mom than the gap in her front teeth, and now she knows it too. I FINALLY get a hold of the Capt Leader person, and she tells me that my blood sugar was a little high and that I needed to come in to do another test. WHAT?!?!?!? that's IT? I am convinced I am dying and all it is is a glucose issue?? So I call mom back, she starts crying in relief, which sets me off again. And now I have to go and explain all of this to the people I just met four days ago, that I am not crazy, that there was a problem with my tests, and that we thought it was worse than what it was. And I don't want to downplay Gestational Diabetes or anything, but it doesn't seem that bad when a moment before you thought you had cancer. Well, not I know how I will react if I ever do get that news...not well. All I have to say is that maybe that isn't the BEST outgoing message to put on the voicemail if you get calls from people who DON'T HAVE dysplasia. If you are going to give that number to a variety of people, maybe you say something else. Just a thought.

No remember that I said all rational thinking was out the door at that point. If I had thought about it I would have realized that there was no way that was possible and that you cant detect cervical cancer in your blood, and considering my pap in July was fine, all of this ridiculous. But why else would they refer me to that clinic, i was thinking. Anyway, I have to get to work.

Friday, October 26, 2007

What a freakin day...

What a day. After a very scary mistake with the hospital, I have to go back in on Monday and do the three hour glucose test, cuz my sugar was a bit high. SO I have to do that on Monday. I am really not looking forward to it!!!! On a positive note though, at work they have a weekly contest where Mary chooses a random day of the week and the person who has the highest sales for that day, wins $100. Pretty cool right? Even cooler if you know that day was yesterday and that I won. I had the highest sales yesterday. Yes, that's right, I am awesome. Its ok, you can say it. Hahahahaha. So that helped me feel better about the fact that I started the day thinking that I might have cancer. (see scary mistake, right? letme tell ya, it was a rough morning, just ask my mom!) After thinking that, gestational diabetes sounds like a walk in the park, trust me!!!

Thursday, October 25, 2007

13 Weeks

Your pregnancy: 13 weeks

How your baby's growing:Fingerprints have formed on your baby's tiny fingertips, her veins and organs are clearly visible through her still-thin skin, and her body is starting to catch up with her head — which makes up just a third of her body size now. If you're having a girl, she now has more than 2 million eggs in her ovaries. Your baby is almost 3 inches long (the size of a medium shrimp) and weighs nearly an ounce.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Second day

went ok. Still pretty slow. But I am getting a feel for the store and for the people. Everyone is pretty ok. Bunky revealed a new level of her weirdness in that she started crying today to the point of hyperventilating, and then all of a sudden she stopped and was fine. She has some MAJOR issues.

Anyway, the weather sucks. its raining/snowing right now which will make tomorrow morning HORRIBLE after the melting snow/rain freezes. This morning was bad enough when there was an accident on the Government Hill bridge, and shut down traffic, so I had to go all the way around, and I get to the gate and they've locked down the base, and all I can think is that I am going to be late on my second day. After I made such a deal about never being late. Cuz I'm not. I HATE being late. If the military has taught me anything, its that you arrive 15 minutes early (or you lose your appnt). I said I am never late, if I am late its cuz something happened and I am on the side of the road, dying. SO I called Mary and let her know what was happening. I wasn't late, but I was close.

My feet are really killing me today. I thought it was bad yesterday, but this sucks. Matt's gonna be cranky when he gets home cuz he called at 6:45 and the UPS man hadn't even come to get the packages yet. So he will be pretty pissed, so I don't want to make him rub my feet...

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

First Day...

went Jim dandy. My drawer balanced a-ok o0n the first try so that is always good. My feet are KILLING me!!!!! And my knees. And because of the joys in my life it decided to snow for the first time. Not a whole lot but enough to bring out the snow-tards. On the day I HAVE to leave the house. But it is nice to be among the people again. I absolutely HATE not knowing what to do. And Connie doesn't really give me any credit to logical thinking, but I can understand why that would be. I am sure that she has had to deal with a few dumb people in training, as I have, so I can relate. But the thing that really bugged me (Besides Bunky, but I'll get to her, yes, her) was that every time I was helping someone, or recommending a product or answering a question she would come over and hover. And butt in to my answers. I am pretty sure I had it handled. I know how to sell product, trust me, give a me a few more days to get the computer system down and I will show you what I can do.

So then there's Bunky. i have no idea if that is her real name, but Bunky? Are you serious? How am I supposed to talk to you when your name is Bunky? Anyway, Jen and I already don't like her. It was so funny cuz Bunky was talking and I was just rolling my eyes and trying to find an out, leaving Jen to fend for herself. And while this may not be good friend etiquette, but I have dealt with her all day. And about 30 seconds later Jen walks over and she's like "I don't think I like her." I'm just like "yep." So we'll see how THAT goes. She started on Saturday, so she is training too, so we will be working together for at least two weeks. But she was a good for one thing, gossip. Apparently, about a year ago a certain ex-boss of mine had Ralph arrested also. Yeah, I know. And please take this with a grain of salt, as I did, cuz you know how gossip is. Anyway, apparently they got in a big fight in the store, and she started hitting him and he defended himself and I guess hit her back, so she called the cops. Had him arrested at the 5th Ave store. (sound familiar?) Told the cops 'This n***er hit me' and n-word this and n-word that. At first when she was telling me this, I was thinking ok this sounds familiar, and I thought maybe she was talking about me. You know, the story got told so many times my name got replaced with his, and you know the telephone game syndrome. So I was like "when did this happen?" and she said about a year ago. So I am curious to know if he is still there. I mean if he is he is stupider than I thought. But the good thing is that I was ok with hearing about her. I mean, I didn't tremble or anything.
But all-in-all, it was a pretty darn good day. Except for my feet. The feet are NOT doing well.

First Day, first snow

Yep, the day I HAVE to leave the house is the day it snows. Not much, but enough to actuvate the Snow-tarded to forget how to drive. I am glad I dont have too far to go. About the same as the MS office and I made it through winter driving there! I am a little nervous, for today. I am hoping that I only have to work until three or so... You know, ease into it. I am so not ready to spend all day there yet. But if I have to then I will, of course, but I am going to be TIRED. Which is ok, cuz then I will be able to go to sleep early. But there is an Aces game tonight, away game, so we will be watching it at home... I probably will not make it through.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Stupid lab

I hope that I don't have many experiences with the lab left. Today was another nightmare. I know I have at least two times, one for my Multiple Marker Screen thing, if I chose to have that, and I have to do the glucose test once more. Which I am SOOOO not looking forward to! So I had to drink this nasty drink that tasted like a sweet Sierra Mist, which wasn't too bad at first, but the last two drinks were HORRIBLE. And the lady is like ok you can drink water, but stay where we can see you (in case, or seizure or coma) and don't vomit if you vomit the test is over and you'll have to do it again. So this whole time I am thinking its a urine test, so I am not using the bathroom, and I have to sit around for an hour, reading and having to pee... So turns out it is a blood test. So I get called in (still having to pee) and it takes five tries and two different people to draw the five vials of blood. Finally we are done and I just stand up, "excuse me but now I am going to go pee and throw up." The whole time I was sitting there I was just trying not to vomit, cuz there is NO WAY I am doing this again. It just keeps coming up the back of my throat and the sheer will of not wanting to drink that vile drink again kept it down. My stomach just kept trying to get rid of it, and since I wouldn't let it, it turned on me. I went grocery shopping after I was done... and the food everywhere... It was NOT pleasant. And I am going to have a talk with Tom about his boy baggers. Just because they cam lift that bag does not mean that I can. Let alone a trunk full of them..Especially when I ask to make them a little lighter. "I'm pregnant" I say "And I don't have anyone to help me carry these in, can you make them a little lighter." And what do I get? I get ALL of my cans in one bag (double bagged) Two gallons of milk in one bag, double bagged. Why double bag it? Separate it, and you use the same amount of bags, and I don't have a miscarriage bringing them into my house. Ridiculous.

FREEE-DOOOM (You get that this is Braveheart, right?)

All joking aside, today is my last day of unemployed freedom. (Sorry I just cant help not saying it with a Scottish accent, even just in my head...Damn Mel Gibson get out of my head) Which is rather bittersweet. I will miss sleeping in as long as I want to and I will miss my naps, lol. But I am so sick of being bored and I am looking forward to joining the real world again. I am a little nervous about working with the public again, I still have a week before I can get my flu shot and I can tell you I am NOT intending to get the flu!!! And I am ready to be me again. I dont suppose you can really understand if you didnt know me a couple years ago during the honeymoon stage at LA. I miss having my hair done. Not having to wax my own eyebrows. I am really high maintanence. I mean I can also live without all of that stuff, but I rather not. I mean I am the girl who had her nails painted a different color EVERY day of her frashman year, right?

Yeah, anyway, so how shall spend my last day of freedom? At the hospital, getting some tests done that I forgot to do last week. I have to go do my CF screen (cystic fibrosis) to see if I'm a carrier, and I have to do my Glucose test early, so I get to go drink some intense sugar water and wait around an hour to see how my body is handling glucose, to check for gestational diabetes. For those of you who have had to do this, yes it is really early, but my eight is NOT on my side for this one, so they will actually do this test twice, now and then the normal time around 28 weeks or so. So yay, I have a GREAT day ahead of me, Oh, and I have to go get groceries too. I just have to try to get to sleep early tonight since I have to start getting up in the morning. Ok, so I guess I have bored you enough with my life... I'll let you know how tomorrow goes. I am anticipating a good day

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Ok, so I went to the more traditional church today, and it was a bit TOO traditional for me. I don't know if I liked it. Which is a bummer cuz its more convenient than the other one and the service starts later... But I cant go if I feel uncomfortable. Which I really did, not because I was the new one, but It was horribly long and the Pastor wasn't mic'ed up so I could barely hear anything that was going on. So I don't know. I mean I can live with it, but I hate to settle. But I like that its right on Boniface, instead of in town, especially when it starts to snow. I guess since I have Sundays off I could go to the later service at the other church I was going to try, that would give me some time to get there if the weather sucks... Shopping for a new church kinda sucks. Oh, well, it has to be done. Anyway, the service was the communion service I remember from when I was little, so much so that when we sang "This is the Feast" I flashed back to sitting by grandma and grandpa and playing with the gorilla/monkey ladder thing so always had in her purse, and the dolls with the big heads and lots of hair. And I had to choke back the tears at the thought of grandpa. I almost had to leave... Strange how a song can transport you so vividly to another time and place, isn't it?

Friday, October 19, 2007


I have been so giggly all day. I decided to go to Subway to celebrate. I know it doesnt sound like much, but it was SOOO good. And I want more, lol. Tomorrow I am going to go put my crib on layaway and I want to go to Michael's to get stuff to make a quilt or a blanket, or something, for Cricket. I want ot make something, I dont know, I'll just go and look. I'm limited inmy abilities since I dont have a sewing machine. Anyway, I'm glad it was a good day. I am going to have to alter y sleep schedule though. I am going to have to be asleep by 9 or 10 to get the same amount of sleep... Not going to be able to have my naps anymore. Boy, I'll miss my naps.

Thanks for the positive thoughts

I GOT THE JOB!!!!!!! I GOT IT, I GOT IT, I GOT IT!!!!!!!!! I start on Tuesday! I am so happy! SO HAPPY. Yayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayay!!! I need to celebrate!

Price is Right

I watched my first episode of Price is Right without Bob. I wasnt sure... I mean how can it still exist without Bob. Granted it's not the same, but I think Drew Carey was a good choice. I mean I wasnt put off by him being the host, he wasnt trying to be funny or anything, he just hosted the show, and I still enjoyed it...after I got over the shock of not seeing Bob, but still, I didnt mind Drew and by the end I didnt even notice. So life does go on after Bob Barker.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Marie's update

I went in for a second interview today. Kinda a wrap up and we discussed details like pay rate and things like that. And she went into a little more detail as to why she has been a bit hesitant to call me. And this definitely WAS NOT a surprise, but after the LA scandal, Lori called Mary (and everyone else around town) to tell them not to hire me. Not surprised at all since every time she "fired" Ralph, she did the same thing. But from the beginning of this process I was totally honest about what happened, and wasn't trying hide anything, cuz Mary even said that I was not obligated to tell her anything, but I told her that I have nothing to hide. This terrible thing happened to me, but I cant change that, so I learned my lessons that came from it, took those with me, and am trying my best to move on from it. I am not going to lie, I am not going to hide it from her, I have no reason to. Anyway, she has another person that she has been considering, but she is making her decision tomorrow, and I will hear by 3pm either way. But she was very positive. And we ended up talking, just on a personal level, about the company, and how it is a family company. At its core it is family, and the people who work there are family, but it is also very by the book in its business practices. (Which is a refreshing change) And has high expectations of its employees. Which I can totally appreciate. It just seems like the place I so wanted LA to be. What I was fighting against the tides to make it, what it would never be able to become. I am just saying my silent prayers... And she was totally cool with the being PG thing. She just asked me what my intentions for maternity leave would be. And I told her straight out I will return to work as soon as I can, because I have to, I wish I had the choice, but we are a two income household. When I come back it might be part time, to start out, but I will be back as soon as I can. So I am nervous, but I don't know. If this doesn't happen, I am going to be devastated. But I think that knowing Jen, and having her endorsement is definitely a plus for me. Because Mary trusts Jen's opinion 100 times more than what Lori could ever tell her about me. (Which wouldn't be much unless she started lying) But I told Mary that I was just sick of hiding from my past. From hiding from Lori. And that I was ready to take my life back. And she told me that I have absolutely no reason to hide from anything, so I think that was a good sign. But I don't want to get my hopes up any higher or else it is going to HURT when/if I come crashing down.

12 Weeks

Your pregnancy: 12 weeks

How your baby's growing:Your baby's hit the 2-inch mark (about the size of a lime) and weighs half an ounce. Her face is beginning to look more human. Her eyes, which started out on the sides of her head, have moved closer together on her face, and her ears are near their final positions on the sides of her head. Your baby's intestines, which have grown so rapidly that they protrude into the umbilical cord, will start to move into her abdominal cavity about now. Her kidneys are secreting urine into her bladder. Her nerve cells have been multiplying rapidly, and synapses (neurological pathways in the brain) are forming. Your baby may have acquired more reflexes by now, including sucking, and she'll even squirm if you prod your abdomen, though you still won't be able to feel her movement for several weeks.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007


My pants dont fit anymore. Unless they have a bit of stretch and I dont button them... Most of my dress pants dont fit... So I had to get some from JC Penny's to wear to Marie's and stuff. Cant walk around with my pants unbuttoned!!! lol.

Pumpkin Ban!?!

Ok, so its not really a ban but it might as well be!!! The Wildlife Officers on base have issued a notice that Halloween pumpkins can only be displayed outside from October 29 through November 2nd. That's it? 5 days of Halloween fun? Cuz moose LOVE pumpkins, and come into housing to eat the pumpkin treats, we cant have pumpkins outside. You can have artificial pumpkins outside and real pumpkins inside, but that's not natural. And to top it all off, if you decide to defy the new ordinance it will result in a $110 fine. $110 pumpkin? Ruin my Halloween. Oh, AND they made Trick-Or-Treating at 3 o'clock in the afternoon. WHAT!?!?!?!?! Who is home at 3pm except a few stay at home moms and people who are sleeping cuz they work the night shift!?! I mean I realize they want to do it when there is more light, so its safer, and I realize that if they make it around 4 or 5 pm there is A LOT of traffic cuz that's rush hour on base, when people are getting off work, but is a bit ridiculous. And I am kinda peeve, cuz I bought all this candy for the kids, which neither me OR Matthew need to be eating, but neither of us are going to be available to answer the door. Matthew isn't going to wake up to do it, that's right in the middle of his night, and I am not going to be home, even if I was the doorbell would be ringing constantly, waking him up anyway... Halloween is shaping up to be a big fat let-down.

Monday, October 15, 2007

And this one is just for fun...

Pink ice: Preseason Hockey

Ok, so I said that I would pots pictures from the pink ice games,and I am finally getting around to it!!! There were two games. The first night was Cancer Awareness and the second night was Breast Cancer Awareness. It was a fun time for a good cause.

I didnt think it looked quite as bad as that picture in the ADN made it look, but it was interesting.

The jerseys were pretty neat.

This is Becks, our goalie fro Peoria, and Troy Riddle who used to play for us. they were both on the Kelly Cup team.

Zamboni-ing the ice

This would be the line to get the limited edition pink cow bells. Shown below. And yes that is a line on BOTH sides of the cage.

The highly coveted bell that they sold out of. They could have sold hundreds more if they had ordered more. Next time they'll know.

And this would be Bo Cheesman. He is one of the new additions to the team, and he is already a fan favorite. For good reason, he is excited to play for Alaska, he is talented and fun to watch. Anyway, they auctioned off the jerseys after the second game. Mr. Cheesman's new found fame got $4700 for his jersey. The highest bid for the night. Insane for a player who hadnt even actually made the team roster yet. (Even though there is no doubt in ANYONE's mind that he will be on that roster.)

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Ok, these hormones better level off soon cuz these hot/cold flashes are freakin ridiculous!!!! I shouldn't have to deal with this for at LEAST another 20 years!!!!! Sometimes I am so hot, I cant breathe. Like being in a small closet, on a hot day, without any ventilation. That's how I feel in this house. But I cant open the windows cuz that will just kick on the heaters and make it even worse. So here is hoping that I don't have much longer with this part. Ridiculous!

Randomness on this Sunday

Still no snow. Well, I should clarify, still no snow on our side of base. It has snowed several times over on the other side of base, our side is still getting rain, which is ok with me. But snow is in the forecast for everyday starting Tuesday. We'll see. Probably by the end of the week, but not earlier than that. I am staying home that day. I know it isn't ready to snow yet cuz me knee hasn't been hurting. I know when its ready to snow cuz my Old Lady knee starts to KILL me with pain, then I know its about a day away or so. And it doesn't hurt at all yet. The radio shows kept saying that this weekend was going to be the "big" first snow, you know the one that sticks, but I kept saying "nope, it wont, my knee doesn't hurt" So I was gloating about being right, and Matthew just looks at me and says "I never argued with you. I never said you were wrong." I don't care, I like being right, so I will gloat even if you agree with me!!! He's like "I know." lol. Poor boy. Oh well, if I have to deal with his nagging he had to deal with my gloating. lol.

I made some coffee today. It was glorious!!! My doc says its ok to have a little bit of caffeine, just don't overdo it. So I made a couple cups of coffee. She said it will probably help with my headaches a little bit. Since they may be a withdrawal symptoms from cutting caffeine completely out of my diet. But the down side is that my headaches could be coming from the hormone progesterone, also. So she said that the rise in hormones should be leveling up in the next two weeks or so, and the headaches should taper off. That is as long as it isn't my neck, which is also a possibility. I have found a chiropractor that I am considering going to. He is from Illinois, and went to Palmer. I just haven't gone. Add to the list of things I want to do, but dent have the means to do it. Mom said she would help out, cuz she knows its important, but I have yet to do it.

One thing I have done, is found a church to go to. Well, a couple actually that I want to try. I went to one this morning, and it was good, alot like Zion. And its right outside the gates on Boniface, so that is conveient. There is another one, more in the downtown area that I will try next month. But I need to rekindle my faith life. I know it is horribly lacking, and I feel like I need to do this, especially now that I am pregnant. I guess I made the realization when we started to try to get pg. I was praying that God would give us this gift and I felt guilty for asking for such a wonderful gift from Him. And I should never feel guilty for praying, but I did, because I felt like what have I done in my faith to make me feel that I have a right to ask such a thing? To be granted such a wonderful request when I haven't prayed in what was probably months at that point. So I need to heal my spiritual being before I can properly bring another into this world. Is that why I was granted my wish so quickly? Because He knew that it would save me from my lazy faith? Probably. But I cannot bring my child before Him in the Sacrament of Baptism with my faith in the condition that it is in. I mean, it hasn't gone anywhere. i believe as much as I every did, but I feel empty in my belief, because it isn't complete. I don't have a church family. And I know I need that. So I have begun my journey back to Him, and that is important. So in 6 months I can stand at the Baptismal Font and present my child to God with a pure heart. A healed heart.

Friday, October 12, 2007

Random crap

My abdomen feels weird today. Like hard. Its weird, cuz its not really from the outside, its the inside, like if I contract my muscles I can only go so far and I hit a wall. Its weird. Anyway, last night's game as SO much better than the first, AND we won. Which as an added bonus, cuz we won in the last two minutes or so. It was fun. MUCH better than the Wednesday game, cuz that was just awkward and uncomfortable, cuz you could tell them weren't used to playing together, and it was like the fourth time on ice together, the second time in the Sully. So we had fun. We are hoping that the old lady we were next to isn't a season ticket holder. She is a large butted woman, and makes it uncomfortable, plus she talks all the time and says stupid stuff. Anyway, here's hoping for a season without have to deal with her. I am still waiting on the job thing. I am going to call later this afternoon, just to check in. I want to take a nap, but I don't know if I will. I have to go get more milk, of course, what else is new? I'm gonna go later though, I just don't have the energy to get up right now.

Mom sent me the Premium Greens powder that she has been taking. It really helped with the heartburn, but I gag drinking it. I don't know why, it doesn't really taste bad, per say, I just cant drink it. So the doctor told me that I need to get more protein, so I have been making protein shakes, and I have found that I can put one scoop in the protein shake so its less intense. But the protein helped. I wish I could get two scoops in , but I figure one is enough for now. Maybe I will need two later on if I need to start getting things moving, which has been a bit of a problem, if I don't drink my 64 oz of water a day. But I have read it can get really bad. Anyway, on a less TMI subject, the protein shakes should help with the protein thing. SO that is one less thing to be concerned about. I do worry a bit that I am getting my protein and my vegetables from a powder, but its not like that's ALL I'm eating, it just to make sure I am getting enough of everything.

I have decided to go look at new glasses. Back in January, when I went to the eye doctor he gave me a prescription for my glasses, but I am thinking it may be time for new ones. I kind of feel like these are just too small for my eyes. They were fine when I was 14 when I got them, but now I just don't feel like they are a good fit cuz there is so much around them, like my peripheral vision is non existent, so it hurts my eyes cuz if I turn my glance, then I have to constantly adjust from seeing "clearly" and not seeing at all. And I say "clearly" cuz I don't even remember the last time I got the prescription updated... Just one more thing that will probably never happen...

Thursday, October 11, 2007

11 Weeks

Your pregnancy: 11 weeks

How your baby's growing:Your fig-sized baby is now fully formed — measuring 1 1/2 inches long and weighing in at a quarter of an ounce. His skin is still transparent, allowing many of his blood vessels to show through. Some of his bones are beginning to harden, and tiny toothbuds are starting to appear under his gums. His fingers and toes have separated, and he may soon be able to open and close his fists. He's already busy kicking and stretching, and his tiny movements are so fluid they look like water ballet. These movements will increase as his body grows and becomes more developed and functional. As his diaphragm develops, your tiny tenant may also start to get the hiccups. Because he's still so small, though, you won't feel any of his workouts or intrauterine gulps until sometime between weeks 16 and 20.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

End of Day

I am 99% sure I felt the baby move today. It was a strange feeling, like popcorn popping on my right lower abdomen. It wasnt hungry, it wasnt gas... It was different. I wish it would happen again, so I could be sure...

The hockey game was disappointing. Well, not really I guess. It served its purpose, anyway, that's what's important. We ended up losing, but the jerseys were cool and the ice was crazy!! It wasnt as bad as the picture in the ADN made it out to be. Tomorrow should be better. But it was hockey and it was Aces' hockey so that's really all that's important.


We finally turned the heater on. Matthew has been wanting to, but I wouldnt let him. But yesterday I was just cold all day so I decided it was time. We're lucky to get to 40 during the day and this weekend it snowed on the other side of base. We went to the Shoppette on Sunday, cuz I wanted a donut with white frosting, which they didnt have, and there were two cars in the parking lot. Both had snow on them. I couldnt believe it was snow! Cuz we didnt get any snow, but when we drove to the commissary, slowly we started seeing snow on rocks and thenon rooftops and on the hill where the sun didnt shine. It was ust weird cuz we didnt have anything. So the time is a comin... Of course we knew it wasnt far away. It is October afterall.

First hockey game is tonight. I am surprised that Matthew got to sleep he has been so excited. Check out the "pink" ice.

Pretty intense! The players practiced on it yesterday, said it was kinda hard to see the puck at first, util your eyes adjusted to the color. Gonna have to wear my sunglasses! I'll bring my camera so you can see the pink jerseys too. Gotta say, I am pretty excited too!

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Appointment results

Ok, its the moment you have all been waiting for. I went to the doctor today. All is going well. My due date has changed to May 3rd. Baby is about 3.27 cm. The ultrasound was amazing. We got to see AND hear the heartbeat, about 175 beats per minute. I was crying. We have a mover and a shaker. Dr. Ostrand was trying to get a measurement, but she couldn't get all of Cricket in the picture at once cuz of the moving. She would get the head in and then the body would disappear. And then she would get the body and the head would disappear. I have to do a glucose test early, which I figured would happen. And my blood pressure was a little high again, but it always is when they take it at the beginning of the appointment, cuz I don't like to go to the doctor. So usually if they wait till the end of the appointment it will be normal. So I am not too worried about that at this point, but they are going to keep an eye on it, just to be safe. But I feel a million times beer knowing that everything is ok, and being able to see my baby was just the best moment of my life (so far). Just this little amazing, beautiful, little thing. It is just indescribable.


The interview went well. I am going back tomorrow for a "trial day". I don't need it, well, that's a little cocky, I do need to refresh myself on some of the lines I was less familiar with, like Tri. But she seemed impressed with me, I brought my certificates from Graham Webb and Pureology for advanced product and retail training. So chalk that one up to my former employer. But I was the one who fought to go, even though I am not hair stylist, so chalk THAT one up to me. lol. So here we go, on our way to a job, maybe this will get Matthew off my back. To be completely honest, I am not looking forward to losing my sleep. I guess I will have to start going to bed at 9 pm, so I can continue to get my sleep And I will have to reacquaint myself with standing all day. Anyway, Now I just have the doctor's appointment to get through. I first have to find something to eat! I am starving. I remember when a bowl of Grape Nuts would keep me full all morning through to lunch, not anymore!! Oh well, I may go to Arby's for Market Fresh sandwich. I saw an add for Arby's and the curly fries a couple days ago, and I cant get it out of my head! LOL. That's life I guess.

Monday, October 08, 2007

THEY CALLED!!!!! I have an appointment for an interview tomorrow morning. Tomorrow is a big day! But they CALLED!!!!! Just wanted to let you know.

Nothing special

I am pretty excited for tomorrow (my doctor's appt) I have been waiting for this for what two and a half months or so? So I am ready to get this going here... see how things are going and such. I am ready to know if everything is ok, or not for that matter, but I need to know... so today is going to go by really slow cuz I just want it to be tomorrow. I hope they do an ultrasound, I know I have said it before, but I really do. It is just so hard not knowing what is going on! On a development note, my stomach is getting hard. I noticed it last night, my stomach is just really hard, even Matthew said something about it, cuz if your poke my stomach, its hard. I dont know what that means, but its something.

Thursday, October 04, 2007

10 Weeks

Your pregnancy: 10 weeks

How your baby's growing:Though he's barely the size of a kumquat — a little over an inch or so long, crown to bottom — and weighs less than a quarter of an ounce, your baby has now completed the most critical portion of his development. This is the beginning of the so-called fetal period, a time when the tissues and organs in his body rapidly grow and mature.He's swallowing fluid and kicking up a storm. Vital organs — including his kidneys, intestines, brain, and liver (now making red blood cells in place of the disappearing yolk sac) — are in place and starting to function, though they'll continue to develop throughout your pregnancy.If you could take a peek inside your womb, you'd spot minute details, like tiny nails forming on fingers and toes (no more webbing) and peach-fuzz hair beginning to grow on tender skin.In other developments: Your baby's limbs can bend now. His hands are flexed at the wrist and meet over his heart, and his feet may be long enough to meet in front of his body. The outline of his spine is clearly visible through translucent skin, and spinal nerves are beginning to stretch out from his spinal cord. Your baby's forehead temporarily bulges with his developing brain and sits very high on his head, which measures half the length of his body. From crown to rump, he's about 1 1/4 inches long. In the coming weeks, your baby will again double in size — to nearly 3 inches.

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Dinner out...

I went out to supper with Carrie and Amber tonight. It was nice. I hate to say it, but it was nice to get away from Matthew. As soon as I got home though, he started in on how it is too cold in the house (cuz I wont let him turn on the heater yet) and questions about the PFD, and why we didn't get it, and that I should call them to find out why I didn't get it. And is Marie's still "yanking" me around? And on and on... And I just wanted to go back to the girls, and all the talk of babies, and girl talk. No one nagging me about a job or money or temperature or hockey or anything, just actual conversation about how I am feeling, about how Amber is feeling, comparing symptoms, etc. About friends and life and real conversations. I love Matthew so much, and he is my best friend, but I forgot what I was missing when I distanced myself from my girl-friends. I need to have these conversations. I need to have people care about other things than those naggings mentioned above. I always thought I would be the one to nag him to death, but it seems it may end up being the other way around.

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

She didnt call...

I waited all day but she never called. I will give her till noon tomorrow, and then I will call her. I mean she is the owner, and this isn't really her job, so I am not getting too upset yet. I just don't know what to do about Matt. He is really getting to me about this. I am doing what I can to get this job, but it is literally constant with him. He went on literally for a straight 30 minutes last night grilling me about this situation. I don't know how many different ways I can tell him that I called and I am waiting to hear back. I cant force her to call me. And it is all the time. Its getting to the point where I don't even want to talk to him cuz that's all it is, is nagging and constant repetitive questions that I cant answer. So finally I just said, "When I know something, you will know something." And I just answer every question like that. I don't need his added stress on me. A new job is stressful enough without him adding to it. I just don't know what else to do. I know that he is tired and burnt out and I know all of this, but I am trying. And I am trying to get a job that I will be happy at, cuz I am going to be there awhile. I just wish he wasn't so damn impatient. He cant wait for anything, everything has to happen right this second or he goes into hissy fits like a child. I am just so over this!
They haven't called yet. Why haven't they called me yet? They don't want me. I'm damaged goods... I'll never get a job again. Why haven't they called?!Is it too pressuming (I dont think that's a word) to call them? I don't want to be too desperate. But I am... I don't know. I guess it is only 11:30. But still. CALL ME!!!

Monday, October 01, 2007

Job: Cross Your Fingers

I called Marie's back to follow up on my last conversation with them. And the Store Manager is on vacation, that's why I haven't heard anything. Anyway, I talked to Marie today and she is going to give me a call tomorrow, since she didn't have my application at the store. And she knew who I was and everything cuz Jen has been dropping my name. So send out good thoughts and vibes and prayers and stuff, cuz not only do I need this job, I really WANT this job. I didn't think I would want to go back into the industry, but I really do. When I think about NOT getting the job, I am just depressed, and I cant see myself anywhere else, now that I have had the chance. So please, send out the good karmic vibes in the universe, I could use them! So here's hoping. I will be devastated if I don't get this job.


So I went grocery shopping yesterday, right? I totally forgot to buy Lasagna! I am apparently still stuck on the cottage cheese thing cuz I got that instead of lasagna. So I have to go back and get some. I may have to get the family size. That way I can cook it, and then divide it up into servings and keep them in the fridge for when the craving hits me. All I have to do is warm it up. It sounds like a good Idea to me! I made a cake for Matthew (cuz he wanted some cake, which is odd cuz he doesn't like cake that much) and it took all my will power not to lick the batter off my finger or the spatula, but I didn't do it. It was hard.