I got my voter registration stuff in the mail the other day. I gues I am now officially a resident of Alaska. Matthew called me today. He has put the AF on standby meaning with all of this stuff going on at home with mom and grandma and stuff like that we are all set up so that if we need to go home we could be on a plane within a couple of hours. It is a nice feeling to know that. And mm seemed relieved she said that took a big weight off her shoulders. And mine too. But now I must go get ready for work and pick up my cape from the post office. Figures that they would try to deliver it the ONE day that I am not here in the morning!

Aura Borealis

I had a very Alaskan day on Sunday. I woke up and it was snowing. On the way to work I saw the moose that hangs out around here. And Sunday night Matthew and I saw the Northern Lights. I tried to take a picture but they werent that bright. It wasnt very cold out. Matt says they ill be brighter when the temperature drops a bit more. They looked alot like the ones we saw in Iowa a couple few years ago. Do y'all remeber that? I called everyone to see. It was shortly before Matthew left for Alaska. Anyway, they were pretty green. But I was still excited.

You know Katie used to have this skeleton we would get out for Halloween. It would sing superfreak. It entertained us like nothing you would ever believe. I miss that so much. We had our pumpkins. They lit up. One was me, the one with the psycho grin. And the other one was her, the one with the squinty eye. That night, in the hospital with her. I wanted so badly make make all her pain just go away. I just wanted to make everything ok again.No I just want to see her again. I miss her so much. Everytime Matthew and I have an argument, I want to call her. She was my bestest friend ever. I miss easy mac. And Bejewled and Law and Order. I cant watch it anymore. it isnt the same. I miss her so much. I want to make everything ok again. She needs me. i can feel it. Or maybe, I need her.

Baby Fever

OK people I have caught the fever. I knew it would come sooner or later but I just figured it would be later. I know that I have to wait and that is the right decision, but I cant wait to have a baby. Last night we went to Diamond Center, and we looked at the puppies. They had a whole bunch of German Shepards. Anyway, we went to Baby Gap to look for clothes for Baby Turd and I found this fuzzy little outfit with ears on the hood and the little fettsies looked like paws, and i looked at Matthew and ws like "You knopw we can pack this away. My baby needs to have this." And he didnt laugh at me. He said I could if I wanted to, so I did. Am I nuts? Probably. Oh, well. You can all know that we are not having a baby, but it isnt far away.

Parking pass Nazis

They took my parking pass away last night. they told me that there was almost $400 owed on it. That means they havent been paying it since January. Well, lets see since I was starting my last semster of college at the UofI on January and since that particular university is located in IOWA, then it is not my problem that it hasnt been paid. I have only had it since the middle of August. And I had a hand full of pay stub that say that I HAVE paid for it since I recieved it. But Lori puts all of the passes on the store credit card and the Parking authority lady told me that my card was not on the list. So the money from my paycheck is where, if it hasnt been paying for my card? We'll get is sorted out. Worse case scenio is that I will have to pay for parking on Sunday. Boo. But Arlene is going to call me as soon as Lori calls her. But I know Lori so That may be awhile. Hopefully she'll be on the ball today. HA. Stupid parking Pass Nazis.

Moose 911

I am getting so sick of these political volunteers who are in the skywalk everytime i go to work. "Re you in favor of Propisition2?" Everyday. For those of you NOT up on Alaska politics prop 2 is the bills that is up for vote that would legalize marijuana in the AK. You could have like 2 grams or something like that. Ug, and they keep asking me. I'm like" I dont vote in Alaska". Which is a lie but I dont care. Then there are the Knowles people. They are up there too. Evacuate my skywalk, leaches!

So in other news I almost hit a moose last night. Well, kinda. I saw it about ten feet in front of us on the highway. I was in the far right lane and the other person was ion the far left lane with the moose. They really must not have seen it, cuz they were not slowing down at all. I was trying to yell out the window at them "There's a moose! there's a moose!!!!!" Cuz you dont want to honk and make them look towards YOU at not at the moose. I swear they were only 2 feet from the thing when they slowed down. Now moose dont move for you. You have to move for them. But this one must have gotten scared and ran across the lanes towards my truck. I was ready though and it ran at my truck but i didnt hit it. My heart was beating pretty fast though. It was relatively small. In proportion to other moose that is. I mean it would have killed me, but it didnt have a rack so it was huge like the big bulls around here. A little Alaskan exictement for yall.

Other than that all is the same. Work is getting more stressful. We have AFN coming up, which is the Alaskan Federation of Natives, they have a conventuion in Anchorage every year. They come in from all the little villages inland and spend hella money in the downtown. Millions. So we are gonna be swamped. And then Halloween and we are having a little costume party cuz they open the mallup for trick or treaters so they have a safe warm place to get cany. Then we decorate for Christmas and have our anniversary sale where we put the whole store on 25% off. I wont be here for that. We will be in Orlando. I'm a bit disappointed cuz we have the store chrismas party that Saturday the 4th and we get all dressed up to the nines. In your fanciest dress. :( But its Matt's birthday so I will be with him. Then it is CHristmas time! God, time is going to fly. Whichis good cuz then I am closer to comeing home. We should be home in March. I cant wait. A lot to get through between then and now...

Home

I always thought that being an adult was going to be different. I thought that I would FEEL different. I was always scared to be a "grown up". I thought that I would feel differently. You know how people always ask about how it feels to be your age, like, "So, how does it feel to be 22?" And the answer is always the same. "Feels the same as last year." I feel the same. What was supposed to change? I dont feel like a grown up. I have to pay my own bills. And I have a real job. And I have graduated from college. And I am MARRIED. I dont feel like a wife. I feel like me. Shouldnt I feel differently? I dont know, I was just driving home from work today and I felt like I was home. But I'm not home. I felt betrayed, almost. Like Anchorage has snuck up on me and... I dont know. Snuck on me pretending to be home. Iowa is home. And I feel like I am betraying it. I feel comfortable here. I like it here. I could stay here. I would have issues on being soooo far from Iowa, but I could. Matthew would sooner poke hios eyes out and cut off his hands than stay here. I know where we are going. But I have made a life here. I dont want to pick up and start all over again. What will I do? It was so hard to start over here. I was so alone and I had no friends. Now I have Rohni and I am so sick of saying good-bye to all these people that I love. On the flip side, i dont have to wait 6 months to see Matt only to watch him get back onto the plane a week later. That was tearing me apart.

No, I do feel feel more grown up. I moved from my high school years to my college years and that was tough too. But I had Kate and she made it so much easier. I moved from my college years to the beginning of my married years and i have Matt, which makes everything better. And now I have Rohni. ANd I guess when we move to Florida, I will still have Matt ane I will once again find a new best friend. And we will come HOME to Iowa for the holidays so my babies will see snow. And when we leave, Anchorage will be my home just like Wilton is my home and Iowa City is my home. Then Orlando will be my home and I can have a house. With a back yard and a morgage and a swingset with a sandbox so my kids can build sand cities, just like we did. And eat rhubarb and jump off the slide cuz it gave us the power to fly.

I wouldnt trade all the creeks, and hay bales, and snow forts, and mountain climbing, and swimming pools made out of calf water tanks, and playhouses on stilts, and weinie roasts and lightening bugs, and dandilion bouquets, and hay mows, and bug bites, and thunderstorms, and go-carts and bruises, and fights, and sweet corn and kittens for anything in this world. I know where home is. It is everywhere I go. And I know how it fels to be a grown up. It feels wonderful becuase I can look back and know that am the luckiest person in this whole world, becuase of all of those things and a billion more.

Being an adult feels pretty damn good.

Disclaimer

This blog has a rating of PG-13. Paremtal discretion is advised.

All right, so I was leaving work last night. Wait no, I'll start somewhere else. Ok so Lori and Ralph are an item. They have been, I've known this for a long time. But when they are at work it is always strictly buisness. Well, Lori called Ralph in yesterday to us move some make up racks. (They were mega heavy) So I was the last to leave, or so I thought. When I went to shut the lights off, Lori's door to her office was open. That door should never be open, but I thought I was the last person in the store. So I knocked to see if anyone was there. Well, they must not have heard me, and they must have thought that THEY were the last ones to leave the store. They werent actually haveing sex, but you get the picture. Now I am warped. I imagine it to be a lot like walking in on your parents. You know that the have sex, but you dont ever want to think about it. You are better to assume that they dont. Ignorance is bliss. Now I cant stop thinking about it. And I have to work with both of them today. I dont think they saw me, but I sure as hell, saw them. AHHHHHH!!! I must think of something else. It'll be fine. I will get through this.