Wednesday, May 20, 2009

On Sunday, Misters and I went out to Mom and Dad's to hang out and have lunch. Mom gave Hayden his first haircut. She was reluctant to cut off his curls, but I think he looks much better. He looks like a little boy!

Monday, May 18, 2009

First Day at Daycare.

So today is D-Day. D for Daycare. Matthew dropped him off this morning. I knew I wouldn't be able to do it. He said that Hayden was walking around and laughing and playing when Matthew left him. That is a small comfort when you are trusting near strangers to take care of your baby. Maybe it is more that this is another way I have to let him go, but I don't want to. I know he will be fine. He isn't afraid of strangers. He will [play and eat and laugh and poop, just like he would at home. I am doubting he will sleep there. Not at first anyway. I was standing in the living room after Matthew had left and looking around at all of the Mister's toys, that he should have been there playing with, my heart broke. Just ripped in two. I console myself with the thought that it is only a couple of days a week and for only a few hours. And then he will be with Grandma. But it is little comfort. I don't want to share him. I know that's selfish, but I don't want to share his laughter and his smiles and his talking and his silly Mister walk and his dancing. I don't want to share that with strangers. I don't want him to waste his adorableness on people who will not appreciate it as much as I do. Maybe that is what it boils down to: I don't want to share him.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Well, lets see. I don't really know what I have to talk about. I had a nice Mother's Day. We went out to Mom and Dad's and had lunch and made chocolate ice cream (Yummy!) I was pretty upset that Mom's present didn't come in time, but there isn't much I can do about it. Saturday I FINALLY went to the DMV and got my license changed over. It was kinda sad for me. It was that one little string that was tying me to Alaska was snipped. Granted, I have one more FANTASTIC tie to AK, which would be my Misters. But he is tied, not me, and it was like that license was MY last connection. So it was pretty sad to let that go. But I must move on. Its what I have wanted to do for so long now, and now I have to actually do it. But it is nice to have it done so I can stop thinking about it.

Work is going really well. I enjoy it. And I don't dread coming to work every morning, which is a change for me! If I do have to leave I think I will be really sad. Matthew starts classes next week, so Mister is about to go to Daycare. I still hate the idea of it, but I have no choice and it does seem like an ok place and Cassie says she has heard nothing but good things about it, so that was another mark in the pro column. Really, I haven't heard anything bad either, not that I think about it. I guess we are just starting a new stage in our lives. I am excited that he will be spending more time with my Mom. He just loves her so much. I had several people comment on Sunday about how much he lights up when he sees her (She was up front singing in the choir) As soon as he spotted her he just giggled and smiled... It was really adorable. I was feeling especially emotional, being Mother's Day, holding my son...and then the choir started sining "Go in Love" and I went from smiling to crying in a blink of an eye. I hadn't expected that it would affect me quite that dramatically. I mean it wasn't the first time I have heard it since Grandpa's funeral, but it was hearing for the first time, with Hayden in my arms. Knowing how much Grandpa would have adored my son...I just lost it. So I apologize to Nicole, who lost it, cuz I did...Unfortunately she was up there trying to sing...

Anyway... I guess that all. Most of this was ramblings anyway. OH! if you want to see some videos, Matthew has posted some on his blog, so hop on over there to see those!