I went to family support today. We got my resume all typed up. Yay. He told me what I already knew and that was that to get any sort of job in the psychology field I need a Master's. So we are going in a different direction. Specifically managment. I have an interview for tomorrow morning at a Financial Services place. And I am supposed to call Wells Fargo tomorrow to inquire about their Buisness relations manager trainee program. And 1st National Bank has a managment trainee program but you have to be willing to relocate. And I am not. So there goes that one. But the ball is in motion. Now I am contemplating some sort of buisness degree. It is only a shadow of a thopught right now so dont get too excited about anything, but it is a thought. Especially if this is the direction that I am headed in. Mike seems to think that it would work very well for me and It would be very easy to find a job with my experience in managment and my past work with the wonderful world of Wal-Mart. He assures me that it doesnt have to be in a department store type of setting but even financial or private buisness. It sounds intriguing and I will give it a try. Trust me I will keep you posted.
So now we have to become very serious about getting a car. Since it appears that I will be working soon. I also wonder how this will affect my parents' visit in August. I hate to ask for a whole week off right when I start, but we will see. I will talk to my mommy later. Okay... I believe that is all for now. Hope you all are doing fine.
Wednesday, June 30, 2004
Tuesday, June 29, 2004
To realize
TO REALIZE
To realize
The value of a sister
Ask someone
Who doesn't have one.
To realize
The value of ten years:
Ask a newly
Divorced couple.
To realize
The value of four years:
Ask a graduate.
To realize
The value of one year:
Ask a student who
Has failed a final exam.
To realize
The value of nine months:
Ask a mother who gave birth to a still born.
To realize
The value of one month:
Ask a mother who has
Given birth to a premature baby.
To realize
The value of one week:
Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realize
The value of one hour:
Ask the lovers who are waiting to Meet.
To realize
The value of one minute:
Ask a person
Who has missed the train, bus or plane.
To realize
The value of one-second:
Ask a person
Who has survived an accident.
To realize
The value of one millisecond:
Ask the person who has
Won a silver medal in the Olympics.
To realize the value of a friend:
Lose one.
Time waits For no one.
Treasure every moment you have.
You will treasure it even more when
you can share it with someone special.
To realize
The value of a sister
Ask someone
Who doesn't have one.
To realize
The value of ten years:
Ask a newly
Divorced couple.
To realize
The value of four years:
Ask a graduate.
To realize
The value of one year:
Ask a student who
Has failed a final exam.
To realize
The value of nine months:
Ask a mother who gave birth to a still born.
To realize
The value of one month:
Ask a mother who has
Given birth to a premature baby.
To realize
The value of one week:
Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realize
The value of one hour:
Ask the lovers who are waiting to Meet.
To realize
The value of one minute:
Ask a person
Who has missed the train, bus or plane.
To realize
The value of one-second:
Ask a person
Who has survived an accident.
To realize
The value of one millisecond:
Ask the person who has
Won a silver medal in the Olympics.
To realize the value of a friend:
Lose one.
Time waits For no one.
Treasure every moment you have.
You will treasure it even more when
you can share it with someone special.
Pay-per-view
So we got the whole cable box thing all taken care of. Now I have found that I am obessed with what is playing. I dont order them but I want to know what I could get if I wanted to. MAtthew said I could get one to make sure it worked before we got his wrestling thing. I got Calendar Girls cause they quit offering Big Fish which is what I really wanted to see. Anyway, I was pleasantly surprised by the movie. It was pretty good. Anyway, so pay per view is one of my new obsessions.
My other obsession is my new coffee maker. It is awesome. I am obsessed with coffee. Like I wasnt before right? Matthew hates the smell of coffee. Can you imagine hating that smell? Mmmmmmmm. Coffee. So if you are in the market for a new coffee maker may I recomend the Melitta Mill and Brew available on target.com I love mine. You can set the timer so that it grinds the beans and makes the coffee fresh every morning while you are getting ready or before you even wake up so you smell fresh coffee when your alarm goes off. Yes, it is a good thing.
My other obsession is my new coffee maker. It is awesome. I am obsessed with coffee. Like I wasnt before right? Matthew hates the smell of coffee. Can you imagine hating that smell? Mmmmmmmm. Coffee. So if you are in the market for a new coffee maker may I recomend the Melitta Mill and Brew available on target.com I love mine. You can set the timer so that it grinds the beans and makes the coffee fresh every morning while you are getting ready or before you even wake up so you smell fresh coffee when your alarm goes off. Yes, it is a good thing.
Dream
So last night I had this wierd dream where Matthew died. It was really not good at all.I dont remember all of it but I know that we went from being at Zion ( my elementary school) To being in band at the high school with Pete. It was the last day of school and Iwe had to go to the park by the public pool for our lunch. And since lunch is always after band we all had our instruments. ANd we had to climb this tree house to get our foor but I had a trombone lookin thing instead of a sax. Anyway As I was walking over to the park I see George Grunder, who I havent seen since his graduation party. And Kenzie Harris and Maddie Kasper and of course Belinda. Now, for the exception of Belinda who kept calling me, I havent thought about these people in years. I was a freshman I think when I was friends with these people. But the whole time I couldnt find Matthew. He was nowhere. And then I saw him at the edge of this cliff. And I screamed. He fell. I think Its' kinda fuzzy but everyone said he was dead. And I was crying so hard. ANd then we were in a garage and there were lots of people in there but all I could think of was Matthew. I was convinced that he wasnt dead even though everyone said he was and I saw his body at the funeral. I was so upset cuz we hadnt been married that long and he was gone.
So all you who like dream books, what does this mean?
So all you who like dream books, what does this mean?
Monday, June 28, 2004
Emily's Lesson for Today
So I have discovered a new pain. I used to think that the top of your feet was the worst place to sunburn. With your butt in close second. They are both dwafed in comparason to burning our scalp. Why is that? you may ask. Well, let me let you in on a little secret. See your scalp is on top of your head. Most of us, except the really freaky people, cannot see on top of our own head. What does this mean? It means that you cannot see when water blisters develop on your scalp burn. So when you brush your hair as you do every morning you are surprised at the wet feeling dripping down your head. As happened to me this morning. So I had to put off my shower because I decided it would be smarter to wait till my scalp dried up a bit. So my greasy head would have to wait and now I had blister juice mixed in from when I rake over the burn with my brush. So is that the end of the pain? No. Because you see, once blisters break there is raw skin under them. and that raw skin stings everytime you move your head. So the stinging stopped and I could feel the crusties of the dried liquid and decided I HAD to take a shower, cause lets face it this is pretty gross. What happens to say a scab when it get wet? Thats right it softens up. Well, so does your scalp. But you have to wash your hair so you withstand the stinging caused by your shampoo and you only condition your ends and the water you are using feels like it is ripping off your skin. But you need to rinse out the shampoo, so you grit your teeth and bare it. You get out of the shower and you're feeling pretty good. The stinging has stopped, you're all clean. And lets assume you are a bit of an airhead like me and it slips your mind that you just endured all this pain and you brush through your wet hair. And this my friends is why you need to remember to put sunscreen on the part in your hair. It may make your hair a little nasty at first, but it is so much better than this pain!
Weekend
We had a pretty good weekend. I got my new coffee maker in the mail. I love Target and there isnt one up here so now I love target.com. LOL. Anyway it is a grinder/brewer in one. You put the beans in and it grinds them up and then brews the coffee. Cool!!. So that was the beginning of the weekend.
Then Saturday we went to the Air SHow. It was pretty cool. They did a military demonstration which was pretty neat to see how every thing works together and to see what the F15's do and how Matthew fits into the picture. It was sooooo hot. we think somewhere around 90. I got my first sunburn of the year. Well, real sunburn, not one that came from a bed. Matthew was really excited because they had a B52 fly over. He has never seen one fly. Yopu know the bugs really dont look like the plane. Well, maybe a little. The wing shape does. For those of you who have no idea what I am talking about, Amanda is probably the only one who does, there are these bugs at home that we would call B52's and they would bite. And it would hurt. Anyway, The highlight was, of course, the Blue Angels. I have seen them once before and we went to see them in Pensacola when we were down there. I enjoyed it. I dont get however why people feel the need to stand at the Air Show. It not like you wont be able to SEE since it is in the AIR!!! How annoying. And there were a few people people who I would like to put on the show What Not To Wear. It was disgusting. Total white trash. So gross the image is still burnt into my head. EEEWWWW!
Then came Sunday. The day Matthew has been looking forward to for two weeks now. WWE Great American Bash on pay-per-view. He was soooo excited! Anyway, we didnt get to watch it because GCI, our cable company, was supposed to reset our cable box because as it is you have to have a code to buy any movies. Matthew did it because someone was breaking into his room and steal porn. So Matthew put on a purchase code. Well, Matthew is not good at remembering things like that. He still doesnt know his PIN number. (I do so it works out) He forgot the code so we couldnt order the Bash. Because they didnt reset the box. So you still needed a code. So we didnt gat to watch it. It is on again tomorrow so I called GCI and bitched so hopefully it will be fixed. And Matthew will get to see his show. Hopefully, cuz he was really pissed. At think mostly at himself for frogetting the code and the guy who was stealing the porn for making him have to have one in the first place. So instead we cleaned. YAY. He turns into a psycho when he's cleaning. So that was fun... Ha. Anyway, we went to the BX cuz he wanted to but a movie. We bought four. They were cheap. So we had to watch his movie last night since he is so picky. So that was our weekend. Yay. Wish I could have gone to the graduation party. Oh, well. Life goes on.
Then Saturday we went to the Air SHow. It was pretty cool. They did a military demonstration which was pretty neat to see how every thing works together and to see what the F15's do and how Matthew fits into the picture. It was sooooo hot. we think somewhere around 90. I got my first sunburn of the year. Well, real sunburn, not one that came from a bed. Matthew was really excited because they had a B52 fly over. He has never seen one fly. Yopu know the bugs really dont look like the plane. Well, maybe a little. The wing shape does. For those of you who have no idea what I am talking about, Amanda is probably the only one who does, there are these bugs at home that we would call B52's and they would bite. And it would hurt. Anyway, The highlight was, of course, the Blue Angels. I have seen them once before and we went to see them in Pensacola when we were down there. I enjoyed it. I dont get however why people feel the need to stand at the Air Show. It not like you wont be able to SEE since it is in the AIR!!! How annoying. And there were a few people people who I would like to put on the show What Not To Wear. It was disgusting. Total white trash. So gross the image is still burnt into my head. EEEWWWW!
Then came Sunday. The day Matthew has been looking forward to for two weeks now. WWE Great American Bash on pay-per-view. He was soooo excited! Anyway, we didnt get to watch it because GCI, our cable company, was supposed to reset our cable box because as it is you have to have a code to buy any movies. Matthew did it because someone was breaking into his room and steal porn. So Matthew put on a purchase code. Well, Matthew is not good at remembering things like that. He still doesnt know his PIN number. (I do so it works out) He forgot the code so we couldnt order the Bash. Because they didnt reset the box. So you still needed a code. So we didnt gat to watch it. It is on again tomorrow so I called GCI and bitched so hopefully it will be fixed. And Matthew will get to see his show. Hopefully, cuz he was really pissed. At think mostly at himself for frogetting the code and the guy who was stealing the porn for making him have to have one in the first place. So instead we cleaned. YAY. He turns into a psycho when he's cleaning. So that was fun... Ha. Anyway, we went to the BX cuz he wanted to but a movie. We bought four. They were cheap. So we had to watch his movie last night since he is so picky. So that was our weekend. Yay. Wish I could have gone to the graduation party. Oh, well. Life goes on.
Friday, June 25, 2004
This stupid thing published the wrong blog. the second venting should be relating that Matthew and I had it out on the phone. He apologized and I promised to try to do things in a more timely manner and we woked it all out. So hopefully he will quit nagging me and I will not have to hate him anymore. So I thought that I would share that with you.
Venting
Ok, I am going to a bit of venting here for a moment. Matthew is driving up the wall with this whole Ashley thing. OK, there is this girl in his shop who drives him crazy. I dont really know her so I havent really formed an opinion. anyway, she is good friends with the other Ashley, the one who is getting married, and they invited me to do stuff with them. I have come out of my shell a bit and agreed to go. I'm gonna go to her bridal shower cuz I figured it would be a good way to meet other people. Matthew is afraid that I am going to become friends withthe Ashley that he doesnt like. But so what if I do? He ahs friends I dont. Let me make them! Besides i really like the other Ashley. She seems really cool. He won't get off my butt about getting a job. It is constant. I dont know how much more I can stand. Yes, I know I need to get a job. But how am I supposed to do that when I am stuck in this apartment? He always has the truck. Am i supposed to walk? Maybe I will. Just top shut him up. Then he's like what did YOU do today? Well, I cleaned up all the trash you left all ove rthe floor last night... I did the dishes that you left in the living room... I vacuumed and scrubbed the kitchen floor, I did your laundry, Itook out the trash and cooked you f**kin supper. What do you think I did? Just becuase I am sitting when he gets home he thinks I didnt do anything. And his day is sooo much worse thanmine because he has a job. Yeah one where he sleeps a quarter of the day, then watchs movies, then they drive around and wave at people to see how many wave back. News Flash scrubbing a kitchen floor on my hands and knees becuase he thinks a mop is unnecissay because a Swiffer wet jet is enough is a bit more work! Ok I am done venting for now. Thanks for listening. Oh yeah I do planon getting a job in case you were wondering like my husband seems to think.
Venting
Ok, I am going to a bit of venting here for a moment. Matthew is driving up the wall with this whole Ashley thing. OK, there is this girl in his shop who drives him crazy. I dont really know her so I havent really formed an opinion. anyway, she is good friends with the other Ashley, the one who is getting married, and they invited me to do stuff with them. I have come out of my shell a bit and agreed to go. I'm gonna go to her bridal shower cuz I figured it would be a good way to meet other people. Matthew is afraid that I am going to become friends withthe Ashley that he doesnt like. But so what if I do? He ahs friends I dont. Let me make them! Besides i really like the other Ashley. She seems really cool. He won't get off my butt about getting a job. It is constant. I dont know how much more I can stand. Yes, I know I need to get a job. But how am I supposed to do that when I am stuck in this apartment? He always has the truck. Am i supposed to walk? Maybe I will. Just top shut him up. Then he's like what did YOU do today? Well, I cleaned up all the trash you left all ove rthe floor last night... I did the dishes that you left in the living room... I vacuumed and scrubbed the kitchen floor, I did your laundry, Itook out the trash and cooked you f**kin supper. What do you think I did? Just becuase I am sitting when he gets home he thinks I didnt do anything. And his day is sooo much worse thanmine because he has a job. Yeah one where he sleeps a quarter of the day, then watchs movies, then they drive around and wave at people to see how many wave back. News Flash scrubbing a kitchen floor on my hands and knees becuase he thinks a mop is unnecissay because a Swiffer wet jet is enough is a bit more work! Ok I am done venting for now. Thanks for listening. Oh yeah I do planon getting a job in case you were wondering like my husband seems to think.
Tuesday, June 22, 2004
Car shopping
We looked at the "lemon Lot" yesterday. The name is a bit misleading cuz they arennt bad cars. they are just the ones that other paople couldnt bring with them when they left the base. TMO only ships one car for free so you have to pay for the other and a lot of people choose not to bring it along when they leave. There was a couple that I kinda liked. One was an Explorewr for $4500. it is in fairly good shape but has 120,000 miles on it. So Matthew isnt sure. We arent looking for anything fancy. just something to drive to and from work and the store. There was an awesome Blazer there. It was blck and had a sunroof and leather seats... It was awesome but way out of our price range. There was also a cute little Firebird which is the car I have wanted (besides a Mustang) for heaven knows how long. It was $4000. I kinda like it but am nervous come winter if a Firebird is the best thing to have. But Matthew seems to think that a car would be fine. But I want something I will feel safe in. His friend Dan is selling his Toyota pick up. I had to laugh cause we all know my record with Toyota pick ups. lol. So we have started the process.
Speaking of Dan we got an invitation to his and Ashley's wedding. I hope my clothes are here by then cuz I'm not sure I would have anything to wear. Not that they would probably care and I'm sure they would understand.
The jets are flying alot lately. Come towards the end of the week air space is going to be used to practice for the Air Show so they are flying a bit more yesterday, today and tomorrow. The wind must be headed in the right direction cuz I can hear every one of them. Usually I can hear one or two but dont really notice them. Now I can hear them really well. Oh well, that's what you get when you live two minutes from an AFB! I have found acronyms working their way slowly into my vocabulary and I apologize for that. If you dont know what it means then just yell at me in the comments and i will clarify it. its just easier to say AFB then type out Air Force Base.
Speaking of Dan we got an invitation to his and Ashley's wedding. I hope my clothes are here by then cuz I'm not sure I would have anything to wear. Not that they would probably care and I'm sure they would understand.
The jets are flying alot lately. Come towards the end of the week air space is going to be used to practice for the Air Show so they are flying a bit more yesterday, today and tomorrow. The wind must be headed in the right direction cuz I can hear every one of them. Usually I can hear one or two but dont really notice them. Now I can hear them really well. Oh well, that's what you get when you live two minutes from an AFB! I have found acronyms working their way slowly into my vocabulary and I apologize for that. If you dont know what it means then just yell at me in the comments and i will clarify it. its just easier to say AFB then type out Air Force Base.
Monday, June 21, 2004
I'm in
Well, it is official. I am now in the Air Force. Well, indirectly. We got our command sponsorship approved today. t only yook a month. Sheesh. As of today I have been married for one month. Seems like longer than that. But in a good way. lol. And all my stuff is on the way up. And I have to get a job. So sets in reality. Kinda bittersweet. I knew that the lazy days on unemployment would have to end someday. lol. Well, I have to go to GCI and get our cable box reset cuz Matt cant remember the password to order pay-per-view and he wants to order the Great American Bash. Its WWE fight. Anyway they are giving to to active military personnel for free. So he is all excited. But it is the same day as the air show. So we will miss the second performance of the Blue Angels, but to tell the truth, If we spend ALL day Saturday at the Air Show, I probably wont want to spend all day there on Sunday too. It just isnt really my thing, but enjoy spending some time there. I hoope the weather is nice.
We used our new grill last night. We were pretty funny trying to use a charcoal grill. We had to call his mom to see if we were doing it right. We watched all four Aliens movies too. What a Father's Day! I called home and they had a fire and stuff. That made me sad. I talked to dad for awhile. and I got to talk to Grandma. I should call her more often. I havent talked to her since I left. I feel kinda bad. Oh well, cant change it now, just fix itin the future. So I had better get going.
Oh and I have been asked to clarify what I meant about the strawberry wafer cookies. If you know me at all you know that I am an overly emotional person and pretty much cry at anything, happy or sad. Well, you know how wafer cookies come in vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry? Well, at home everyone always ate the vanilla and chocolate and the poor strawberry ones were always left behind. So out of guilt I ate the srawberry ones because I didnt want them to feel bad that no one wanted to eat them. i felt bad that no one liked them. o I ate them. Yes, I realize that they are cookies and thus have no feelings, but I didnt want them to feel bad. But as I said, Matthew eats the strawberry ones so now i dont have to. Even though I have learned to like them.
We used our new grill last night. We were pretty funny trying to use a charcoal grill. We had to call his mom to see if we were doing it right. We watched all four Aliens movies too. What a Father's Day! I called home and they had a fire and stuff. That made me sad. I talked to dad for awhile. and I got to talk to Grandma. I should call her more often. I havent talked to her since I left. I feel kinda bad. Oh well, cant change it now, just fix itin the future. So I had better get going.
Oh and I have been asked to clarify what I meant about the strawberry wafer cookies. If you know me at all you know that I am an overly emotional person and pretty much cry at anything, happy or sad. Well, you know how wafer cookies come in vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry? Well, at home everyone always ate the vanilla and chocolate and the poor strawberry ones were always left behind. So out of guilt I ate the srawberry ones because I didnt want them to feel bad that no one wanted to eat them. i felt bad that no one liked them. o I ate them. Yes, I realize that they are cookies and thus have no feelings, but I didnt want them to feel bad. But as I said, Matthew eats the strawberry ones so now i dont have to. Even though I have learned to like them.
I wish I could be as alloquint (sp?) as Amansda but I'm not so bear with me. I don't really know what I remember about dad from when I was young. He wasnt around much. He worked long hours at the power plant and then he was in the field. I always felt like that was my fault. If I hadnt gotten sick he wouldnt have had to get another job. I know now that there were athewr factors involved, but for me it was always my fault. Then I held it against him, the fact that he wasnt around much. Like I blamed him for my guilt. I have never had the relationship with dad that I would have liked to have. Sometimes two people are too alike to really become close. I see things in him that I hate about myself, for example my famous temper, and I then get annoyed with him. But there is no one like my dad. I guess the thing that I remember most is that he was always there when I needed him. He wasnt there much but if I had a problem or wanted something there he was. I see that now, looking back. At the time I was too busy holding things against him to realize that when it was truely important he was there.
Some of my favorite memories are of times with dad. Like when i would ride along with him when he made hay bales. I would sit on the fender of the tractor and we would spend a couple hours out there. One year I got a slip and slide for my birthday and for some reason I couldnt hurl myself down the thing. So Lew and manda got to play on it and I didnt. So dad came and flung my down it. It was so much fun. He would pick me up and slide me down. Of course I would have to go get him from whatever chore he was doing to help me. I'm sure he got irritated, but he always did it.
Dad is like a big teddy bear. I remember Matt telling me that he was scared of my dad at first, before he knew about the fact that dad is crazy and sooo funny. But I couldnt imagine being scared of dad. I dont think I was ever afraid of him, which isnt always a good thing because my lack of fear gave me a sense of invincibility with him.
I dont remember ever seeing him cry when I was young. Mom tells me that he is rather emotional, and that is where I get my emotional instability. lol. (Oh, FYI Matt eats the strawberry wafer cookies.) I guess the moral of this message is that I love my dad. We never really said it to each other. We usually insulted each other and poked fun and that was the same thing. Now that I am away we say it a lot more. That seems to be the case with everyone in my family.
Some of my favorite memories are of times with dad. Like when i would ride along with him when he made hay bales. I would sit on the fender of the tractor and we would spend a couple hours out there. One year I got a slip and slide for my birthday and for some reason I couldnt hurl myself down the thing. So Lew and manda got to play on it and I didnt. So dad came and flung my down it. It was so much fun. He would pick me up and slide me down. Of course I would have to go get him from whatever chore he was doing to help me. I'm sure he got irritated, but he always did it.
Dad is like a big teddy bear. I remember Matt telling me that he was scared of my dad at first, before he knew about the fact that dad is crazy and sooo funny. But I couldnt imagine being scared of dad. I dont think I was ever afraid of him, which isnt always a good thing because my lack of fear gave me a sense of invincibility with him.
I dont remember ever seeing him cry when I was young. Mom tells me that he is rather emotional, and that is where I get my emotional instability. lol. (Oh, FYI Matt eats the strawberry wafer cookies.) I guess the moral of this message is that I love my dad. We never really said it to each other. We usually insulted each other and poked fun and that was the same thing. Now that I am away we say it a lot more. That seems to be the case with everyone in my family.
Saturday, June 19, 2004
Father's Day
So in honor ar Father's day I thought I would copy some things that Amanda said about my dad and I will write some of my own tomorrow. But here is what she said. I swear she should write for a living.
My dad is somewhat of a mystery to me. My understanding of him is based mainly on my understanding of myself, because we are very much alike in personality. My dad is named after his father, who was a doctor and died of cancer in the early seventies. It has been kind of a tradition in my family to name a son Lysle and use his mother's maiden name as the middle name. I'm not sure how this tradition got started or when, but I'll be interested to know if Lew plans on continuing that tradition. My dad is a farmer. There are a lot of things you know immediately about someone when you know he is a farmer. You know that he has battled against nature, sometimes winning, sometimes losing. You know he has spent countless hours tending land, plowing, sowing, spraying, reaping, drying and transporting. You know he has watched the skies with hope, with dread, and with frustration. You know he is intimately familiar with dirt and sweat and hard work. He knows his machines and his land. He is one of the last of a disappearing kind of man.
My early memories of my father are of a somewhat stoic man. I think money weighed on him. The eighties were a tough time for farmers. In 1988, he took a second job working swing shift as an operator at the Louisa power plant. He still farms. I think he thinks of the plant as what allows him to keep farming. I think someday he'd like to go back to just farming.
I'm not sure when the change happened, but I remember it being more of when I left for college. He became a lot more...jovial. Better natured. More quick to smile. He still has the same temper as Emily, but when he wasn't in a temper, he was a lot more likely to be happy. He's still very private; he very rarely says what he's feeling. He shows his love in ways that if you weren't looking for it, you might miss it. Like when he bought me a can of pepper spray. To me, it was as good as saying, "I love you."
There are things that I latch onto because they remind me of him. I recorded Sergeant York off AMC once, and every once in a while, I'll watch it, because it's Dad's favorite movie. He went through a phase once, where he read the Little House books. When we'd groan about our chores, his favorite response was "Well, Laura and Mary had to do this by hand" or "Laura and Mary wouldn't have complained." We were so sick of Laura and Mary. I listen to Variety Time with Leo Greco on Sunday mornings on the way home from church because Dad would. We would groan everytime he'd flip on the radio and a polka would dance out of the speakers. Sometimes he'd acquiesce to our demands and switch the station, but more often he'd make us suffer through it. Now I listen and smile.
Even though I'm not as close to my dad as I am to my mom, I identify with him a lot more. I think we are a lot more alike than we realize, and will probably ever realize, because it's not something we would ever talk about. Being with my dad, sitting in complete silence, is one of the most comfortable places I can be.
My dad is somewhat of a mystery to me. My understanding of him is based mainly on my understanding of myself, because we are very much alike in personality. My dad is named after his father, who was a doctor and died of cancer in the early seventies. It has been kind of a tradition in my family to name a son Lysle and use his mother's maiden name as the middle name. I'm not sure how this tradition got started or when, but I'll be interested to know if Lew plans on continuing that tradition. My dad is a farmer. There are a lot of things you know immediately about someone when you know he is a farmer. You know that he has battled against nature, sometimes winning, sometimes losing. You know he has spent countless hours tending land, plowing, sowing, spraying, reaping, drying and transporting. You know he has watched the skies with hope, with dread, and with frustration. You know he is intimately familiar with dirt and sweat and hard work. He knows his machines and his land. He is one of the last of a disappearing kind of man.
My early memories of my father are of a somewhat stoic man. I think money weighed on him. The eighties were a tough time for farmers. In 1988, he took a second job working swing shift as an operator at the Louisa power plant. He still farms. I think he thinks of the plant as what allows him to keep farming. I think someday he'd like to go back to just farming.
I'm not sure when the change happened, but I remember it being more of when I left for college. He became a lot more...jovial. Better natured. More quick to smile. He still has the same temper as Emily, but when he wasn't in a temper, he was a lot more likely to be happy. He's still very private; he very rarely says what he's feeling. He shows his love in ways that if you weren't looking for it, you might miss it. Like when he bought me a can of pepper spray. To me, it was as good as saying, "I love you."
There are things that I latch onto because they remind me of him. I recorded Sergeant York off AMC once, and every once in a while, I'll watch it, because it's Dad's favorite movie. He went through a phase once, where he read the Little House books. When we'd groan about our chores, his favorite response was "Well, Laura and Mary had to do this by hand" or "Laura and Mary wouldn't have complained." We were so sick of Laura and Mary. I listen to Variety Time with Leo Greco on Sunday mornings on the way home from church because Dad would. We would groan everytime he'd flip on the radio and a polka would dance out of the speakers. Sometimes he'd acquiesce to our demands and switch the station, but more often he'd make us suffer through it. Now I listen and smile.
Even though I'm not as close to my dad as I am to my mom, I identify with him a lot more. I think we are a lot more alike than we realize, and will probably ever realize, because it's not something we would ever talk about. Being with my dad, sitting in complete silence, is one of the most comfortable places I can be.
Thursday, June 17, 2004
Movie Theaters suck
Ok I am officially pissed at Anchorage movie choices. First it was Harry Potter. How can you not have on of the biggest movies of the summer at your best theater? Stupid. Now they dont have Dodgeball, and me and Matt wanted to go see it. Figures. Stupid Theaters.
Wednesday, June 16, 2004
Wal-Mart
So we all knew this day was coming... In a sick, sadistic way I miss Wal-Mart. I have been having these dreams where I am doing Layways. I mean ringing them up, deposit, and bining them. Now we must realize this means that this information is definately ingrained in my head. I can do a layaway, I can do the service desk and check people out. This is so sad. However, today I tried to use our Mastercard debit as a credit. If you worked the front end for longer than three seconds you would know that you cant do that. So what does this mean? I can do transactions in my sleep, yet put me on the other side of that register, and my common sense is out the window. Funny stuff. A subject for study. HeeHeeHee. So my next question is why should I have to pay $60 for something that I could do myself? Just curious.
Monday, June 14, 2004
Moose Update
Welp, I finally saw one. On Saturday we were driving home from fishing and There it was by the road. Not far from the Bonaface Gate. It didnt have a rack, does that mean it was a chick moose? Anyway, I finally saw one! Yay.
Thursday, June 10, 2004
What does your Birth Month say about you?
JULY: Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to
fathom and to be understood.
Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in
oneself. Has reputation.
Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's
feelings. Tactful.
Friendly. Approachable. Emotional Temperamental and
unpredictable. Moody
and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful.
Forgiving but never
forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary
things. Guides others
physically and
mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions
carefully. Caring and loving.
Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy.
Wary and sharp. Judges
people through observations. Hardworking. No
difficulties in studying.
Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and
the old friends. Likes to
be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never
looks for friends. Not
aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach
and dieting problems.
Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to
recover.
What's Yours?
JANUARY: Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and
be taught. Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses.
Likes to criticize. Hardworking
and productive. Smart, neat and organized.
Sensitive and has deep
thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet
unless excited or tensed.
Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to
illnesses but prone to
colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing
love. Loves children.
Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily
jealous. Very Stubborn and
money cautious.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
FEBRUARY: Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and
abstract. Intelligent and
clever. Changing personality. Temperamental. Quiet,
shy and humble.
Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves
freedom. Rebellious
when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too
sensitive and easily hurt.
Showing
anger easily. Dislike unnecessary things. Loves
making friends but rarely
shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing
dreams and hopes.
Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on
the inside not
outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift.
Learns to show
emotions
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
MARCH: Attractive personality. Affectionate. Shy
and reserved.
Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and
sympathetic. Loves peace and
serenity.
Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily
angered. Trustworthy.
Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and
assesses others.
Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize.
Loves traveling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions
in choosing partners.
Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves
special things. Moody.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
APRIL: Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but
tends to regret.
Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong
mentality. Loves attention.
Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's
problems. Brave and
fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and
generous. Emotional.
Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving Motivates
oneself and others.
Sickness usually of the head and chest.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
MAY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and
highly motivated. Sharp
thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves
attention. Deep
feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm
Standpoint. Needs no
motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left
brain). Loves to dream.
Strong
clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in
the ear and neck. Good
imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves
literature and the arts.
Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless.
Not having many
children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
JUNE: Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by
kindness. Polite and
soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive.
Active mind. Hesitating,
tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best.
Temperamental. Funny and
humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills.
Talkative. Daydreamer.
Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able
to show character.
Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress
up. Easily bored.
Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover
when hurt. Brand
conscious. Executive. Stubborn.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
JULY: Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to
fathom and to be understood.
Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in
oneself. Has reputation.
Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's
feelings. Tactful.
Friendly. Approachable. Emotional Temperamental and
unpredictable. Moody
and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful.
Forgiving but never
forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary
things. Guides others
physically and
mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions
carefully. Caring and loving.
Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy.
Wary and sharp. Judges
people through observations. Hardworking. No
difficulties in studying.
Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and
the old friends. Likes to
be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never
looks for friends. Not
aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach
and dieting problems.
Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to
recover.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
AUGUST: Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and
caring. Brave and fearless.
Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to
console others. Too
generous and egoistic. Takes high pride of oneself.
Thirsty for praises.
Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when
provoked. Easily jealous.
Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly.
Independent thoughts.
Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream.
Talented in the arts, music and
defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance
against illnesses.
Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving
and caring. Loves to make friends.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SEPTEMBER: Suave and compromising. Careful,
cautious and organized. Likes
to point out people's mistakes. Likes to criticize.
Quiet but able to talk
well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic.
Concerned and detailed.
Trustworthy, loyal and honest. Does work well. Very
confident. Sensitive.
Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and
knowledgeable. Loves to look
for information. Must control oneself when
criticizing. Able to motivate
oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around.
Secretive. Loves sports,
leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends
to bottle up feelings.
Very choosy, especially in relationships.
Systematic.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
OCTOBER: Loves to chat. Loves those who loves him.
Loves to takes things
at the center. Attractive and suave. Inner and
physical beauty. Does not
lie or pretend. Sympathetic. Treats friends
importantly. Always making
friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily.
Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does
not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive.
Strong clairvoyance.
Loves to travel, the arts and literature.
Soft-spoken, loving and caring.
Romantic!!! Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned.
Loves outdoors. Just and
fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses
confidence. Loves children.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
NOVEMBER: Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom.
Thinks forward. Unique
and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking.
Fine and strong
clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in
personality. Secretive.
Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always
thinking. Less talkative but
amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and
hard-hearted. If there
is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give
up. Hardly becomes angry
unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks
differently from others.
Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not
appreciates praises.
High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and
emotions. Romantic.
Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking.
High abilities.
Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to
control emotions. Unpredictable
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
DECEMBER: Loyal and generous. Patriotic. Active in
games and interactions.
Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in
organizations. Fun to
be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves
attention. Loves to be
loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending.
Short tempered. Changing
personality. Not egoistic. Take high pride in
oneself. Hates restrictions.
Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical.
fathom and to be understood.
Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in
oneself. Has reputation.
Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's
feelings. Tactful.
Friendly. Approachable. Emotional Temperamental and
unpredictable. Moody
and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful.
Forgiving but never
forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary
things. Guides others
physically and
mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions
carefully. Caring and loving.
Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy.
Wary and sharp. Judges
people through observations. Hardworking. No
difficulties in studying.
Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and
the old friends. Likes to
be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never
looks for friends. Not
aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach
and dieting problems.
Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to
recover.
What's Yours?
JANUARY: Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and
be taught. Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses.
Likes to criticize. Hardworking
and productive. Smart, neat and organized.
Sensitive and has deep
thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet
unless excited or tensed.
Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to
illnesses but prone to
colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing
love. Loves children.
Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily
jealous. Very Stubborn and
money cautious.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
FEBRUARY: Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and
abstract. Intelligent and
clever. Changing personality. Temperamental. Quiet,
shy and humble.
Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves
freedom. Rebellious
when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too
sensitive and easily hurt.
Showing
anger easily. Dislike unnecessary things. Loves
making friends but rarely
shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing
dreams and hopes.
Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on
the inside not
outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift.
Learns to show
emotions
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
MARCH: Attractive personality. Affectionate. Shy
and reserved.
Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and
sympathetic. Loves peace and
serenity.
Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily
angered. Trustworthy.
Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and
assesses others.
Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize.
Loves traveling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions
in choosing partners.
Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves
special things. Moody.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
APRIL: Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but
tends to regret.
Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong
mentality. Loves attention.
Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's
problems. Brave and
fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and
generous. Emotional.
Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving Motivates
oneself and others.
Sickness usually of the head and chest.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
MAY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and
highly motivated. Sharp
thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves
attention. Deep
feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm
Standpoint. Needs no
motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left
brain). Loves to dream.
Strong
clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in
the ear and neck. Good
imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves
literature and the arts.
Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless.
Not having many
children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
JUNE: Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by
kindness. Polite and
soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive.
Active mind. Hesitating,
tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best.
Temperamental. Funny and
humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills.
Talkative. Daydreamer.
Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able
to show character.
Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress
up. Easily bored.
Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover
when hurt. Brand
conscious. Executive. Stubborn.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
JULY: Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to
fathom and to be understood.
Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in
oneself. Has reputation.
Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's
feelings. Tactful.
Friendly. Approachable. Emotional Temperamental and
unpredictable. Moody
and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful.
Forgiving but never
forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary
things. Guides others
physically and
mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions
carefully. Caring and loving.
Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy.
Wary and sharp. Judges
people through observations. Hardworking. No
difficulties in studying.
Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and
the old friends. Likes to
be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never
looks for friends. Not
aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach
and dieting problems.
Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to
recover.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
AUGUST: Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and
caring. Brave and fearless.
Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to
console others. Too
generous and egoistic. Takes high pride of oneself.
Thirsty for praises.
Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when
provoked. Easily jealous.
Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly.
Independent thoughts.
Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream.
Talented in the arts, music and
defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance
against illnesses.
Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving
and caring. Loves to make friends.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SEPTEMBER: Suave and compromising. Careful,
cautious and organized. Likes
to point out people's mistakes. Likes to criticize.
Quiet but able to talk
well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic.
Concerned and detailed.
Trustworthy, loyal and honest. Does work well. Very
confident. Sensitive.
Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and
knowledgeable. Loves to look
for information. Must control oneself when
criticizing. Able to motivate
oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around.
Secretive. Loves sports,
leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends
to bottle up feelings.
Very choosy, especially in relationships.
Systematic.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
OCTOBER: Loves to chat. Loves those who loves him.
Loves to takes things
at the center. Attractive and suave. Inner and
physical beauty. Does not
lie or pretend. Sympathetic. Treats friends
importantly. Always making
friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily.
Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does
not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive.
Strong clairvoyance.
Loves to travel, the arts and literature.
Soft-spoken, loving and caring.
Romantic!!! Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned.
Loves outdoors. Just and
fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses
confidence. Loves children.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
NOVEMBER: Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom.
Thinks forward. Unique
and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking.
Fine and strong
clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in
personality. Secretive.
Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always
thinking. Less talkative but
amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and
hard-hearted. If there
is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give
up. Hardly becomes angry
unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks
differently from others.
Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not
appreciates praises.
High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and
emotions. Romantic.
Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking.
High abilities.
Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to
control emotions. Unpredictable
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
DECEMBER: Loyal and generous. Patriotic. Active in
games and interactions.
Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in
organizations. Fun to
be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves
attention. Loves to be
loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending.
Short tempered. Changing
personality. Not egoistic. Take high pride in
oneself. Hates restrictions.
Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical.
My new Neurologist
I met my new Doctor today. His name is Dr. Ashman. He seems nice. It still seems strange to me to go to a doctor that is dressed in BDU's. It just seems strange to me. But he seems to be very knowledgable, and very friendly. We sat and talked about Iowa for awhile. He wanted to know the population of Davenport since that is where Neurology Counsultants is. And they have 6 doctors alone. There are not even six neurologists in the state of Alaska! And then we talked about Iowa City cuz he knows about the University and its very reputable neurology department. But I have to have another MRI. No big just cuz he thinks I should get another one to compare to the original. I just hate laying in a tube for 45 minutes listening to "Bonk, bonk, bonk, EEEEEEEEEP, bonk, bonk, bonk, EEEEEEEE" you get the idea. Then he would like me to go to a urologist to have some test performed where I get a cathiter and they fill my bladder up with fluid to see how it is functioning or not as the case is. But he wants to wait on that so that we can see how the new meds are working. he gave me new ones to help with my fatigue. So We'll see about that. then I went to the People Center to drop off the Command sponsership paper sign it. So while I was there I thought I would get my ID changed cuz they put the wrong birth year on it. They put 83 instead of 82 which makes me 20. not 21. No buying alcohol on base for me. Too bad cuz its way cheaper! Anyway they couldnt do that cuz they needed Matt's signature. Yep cant live unless he signs for it. Welcome to being a dependent! I still need to go to the dry cleaners and drop off Matt's BDU's and the go to the BX to get more plates (cant wait to get my dishes) and pop tarts for Matthew. So best get going.
Tuesday, June 08, 2004
TMO
Matthew went to TMO today. We have 531 pounds of moving allowance. Anything over that is two dollars a pound. So we (aka mom) will have to do some downsizing. Which isnt a bad thing. cuz I have been thinking aboutit and I really dont HAVE to have some of my stuff. I really just need my shoes, my clothes, my pictures, my kitchen appliancea and my pictures. I HAVE to have my pictures. They are very important. I love my pictures.
Anyway, Laurie sent up a lot of stuff for me. I am sooo glad to have some baking supplies. Now I can make a decent supper! Tonight I am going to make Cheesy ham and Hashbrown casserole and green beans with garlic butter sauce. And I have my cookbook. YAY! Time to make good food. And Matthew is going to eat it or starve. I have decided. I will make things using the three foods he does eat, but not just those things. For example, I will cook things with cheese. Things with potatos. Etc. And if he doesnt like it then he can make his own food. I hope that we can meet half way on this. Maybe I can at least get him to try it and then maybe open up some doors. Yes, possible wishful thinking, but I'm going to give it a try. At least it is practice for when mom and dad come up. I think that Marianne and Ken might come with them. Ken really wants to come to Alaska. So They might come up too. I am really excited. I hope to have The apartment set up before they get here. I have to start looking for activities. Mom bought a book so I'm sure that ahe will have some ideas. I would like to go to Mt. McKinley. And probably down to Seward. Ok, that will come. I'll end for now.
Anyway, Laurie sent up a lot of stuff for me. I am sooo glad to have some baking supplies. Now I can make a decent supper! Tonight I am going to make Cheesy ham and Hashbrown casserole and green beans with garlic butter sauce. And I have my cookbook. YAY! Time to make good food. And Matthew is going to eat it or starve. I have decided. I will make things using the three foods he does eat, but not just those things. For example, I will cook things with cheese. Things with potatos. Etc. And if he doesnt like it then he can make his own food. I hope that we can meet half way on this. Maybe I can at least get him to try it and then maybe open up some doors. Yes, possible wishful thinking, but I'm going to give it a try. At least it is practice for when mom and dad come up. I think that Marianne and Ken might come with them. Ken really wants to come to Alaska. So They might come up too. I am really excited. I hope to have The apartment set up before they get here. I have to start looking for activities. Mom bought a book so I'm sure that ahe will have some ideas. I would like to go to Mt. McKinley. And probably down to Seward. Ok, that will come. I'll end for now.
Monday, June 07, 2004
So strange things seem to remind me of home. It isnt so much home as my childhood. And they just keep popping up out of nowhere. Like Darkwing Duck on Toon Disney and Chip and Dale Rescue Rangers. Or Leachs. Ok that one is kinda wierd. But Smith had leachs on his waders and it reminded me of Amanda. Well, so did DWD. And I wrote a thank you to George and Carole Korns. So the camping thing came back to me. And watching the fireworks over Lake Warren on the Pontoon.That was so cool. Or going to Geode with Grandpa. I cant wait to make those memories for my children. Because I love those memories now. My favoite memories are those of camping. At the State Fair or at Adventureland or Lake Warren or Lake Geode... I love them all.
So as I said I started on my thank yous. There are sooooo many but at least now I have something to do. Matthew had a dentist appnt. this morning so he has the truck and then he has to meet with TMO tomorrow so he will have it then too. So am stuck here. He went fishing again this weekend with Smith. He is all excited cuz he bought his own fishing stuff. I went with tomake sure he didnt spend too much at the Sporting Goods store. The idea of Matt and Smith shopping together for fishing gear frightened me. I figured in out best financial interest I would go too. But I didnt go fishing. I wasnt feeling too great. He is sooo excited about using his own pole and tackle box. He does this all the time. I know that when we leave here, they will be stored next to the bowling ball he had to have and the pool sticks he and Tillison got in Tech school. But its good for him. At least he makes friends. I know that I have been dwelling on this a bit much. I know that I am using it as an excuse to stay inside the shell I have to protect myself. I always do this in new situations. It is a defense mechanism. Oh well, as long as it eventually wears off and I get to being myself again. If that doest happen then I will become more concerned.
So as I said I started on my thank yous. There are sooooo many but at least now I have something to do. Matthew had a dentist appnt. this morning so he has the truck and then he has to meet with TMO tomorrow so he will have it then too. So am stuck here. He went fishing again this weekend with Smith. He is all excited cuz he bought his own fishing stuff. I went with tomake sure he didnt spend too much at the Sporting Goods store. The idea of Matt and Smith shopping together for fishing gear frightened me. I figured in out best financial interest I would go too. But I didnt go fishing. I wasnt feeling too great. He is sooo excited about using his own pole and tackle box. He does this all the time. I know that when we leave here, they will be stored next to the bowling ball he had to have and the pool sticks he and Tillison got in Tech school. But its good for him. At least he makes friends. I know that I have been dwelling on this a bit much. I know that I am using it as an excuse to stay inside the shell I have to protect myself. I always do this in new situations. It is a defense mechanism. Oh well, as long as it eventually wears off and I get to being myself again. If that doest happen then I will become more concerned.
Friday, June 04, 2004
Happy Potter!!!!!
Yay, Yay, Yay!! Harry Potter is comes out today!!! Another reason why I cannot love Alaska. Because this stupid town has one good theatre and some ghetto scary ones. Does the nice, non-scary rape theatre have HP playing? No, not at all. I want to go so bad but its not worth risking my life in the scary theatre by myself. Since Matthew doesnt want to go with me. Oh, well. Maybe in some way, its better... though I am not sure how. Oh, well.
Yesterday my appointment went well. It was fun actually. It was more of like an interview about my medical history. The guys who did it were sooo funny. Seg. Meekins asked me if I had any dental problems... cavities or dental work? When I told him I had never even had a cavity before, it set me up for the next ten minutes. oh, well, I can take it! Heehee. They quizzed me on Matt's SSN just for fun. I couldnt remember the last three #'s. Talk about setting myself up! lol. thye gave me such shit for it! I can tell you that I knew it before I left that building. I was only there for like 9 minutes though. But I know Matt's SSN now. SO it was productive. And then Matt just called me and asked me what my SSN was. Heehee. He didnt know either. I suppose he has less reason to, but still he probably should have it. I'll write it down for him. Since he still doesnt have his PIN memorized. Have to love him. And God I do.
Yesterday my appointment went well. It was fun actually. It was more of like an interview about my medical history. The guys who did it were sooo funny. Seg. Meekins asked me if I had any dental problems... cavities or dental work? When I told him I had never even had a cavity before, it set me up for the next ten minutes. oh, well, I can take it! Heehee. They quizzed me on Matt's SSN just for fun. I couldnt remember the last three #'s. Talk about setting myself up! lol. thye gave me such shit for it! I can tell you that I knew it before I left that building. I was only there for like 9 minutes though. But I know Matt's SSN now. SO it was productive. And then Matt just called me and asked me what my SSN was. Heehee. He didnt know either. I suppose he has less reason to, but still he probably should have it. I'll write it down for him. Since he still doesnt have his PIN memorized. Have to love him. And God I do.
Thursday, June 03, 2004
Katie
Yesterday I talked to Katie for awhile online. I know that I have not been gone that long, but I miss her sooooo much. When you live with someone there becomes a comfort and a knowledge with that person that no one can truely understand until they experience it. Its been about two weeks since I have seen her. But we didnt really have time to do anything with her new job and trying to finish up with school and me trying to get ready for the wedding and the move... SO its really been about a month... Anyway, I miss her so much. There is no one that I have shared more laughs or tears with. We celebrated highs and comforted through lows. We shared secrets and a bathroom. How much more intimate can you get with a friend then sharing a toilet! LOL. Not having her in my life is like Im missing a part of myself. We shared one brain. Be the two of us we were fluent in Spanish! I will always treasure midnight McDonald's runs, Law and Order marathons, Boy Meets and any movie with evil cats trying to take over the world. :) We knew each other like no one else knew us. We had our own language where she can say "I need to do my F*cking F*ck." And I know whether she is referring to her Stats or her Organic. Where a look is enough for an "I know" response. Where she can walk through a door pointing and laughing hysterically and I know its because she left her shake in her car all night. The shake that was the sole reason we drove to McD the night before and then left in the car. We understand what each other goes through on "fat days" and dont try to cheer the other up. And when we look good, we look damn good. Our lives have taken us in seperate directions but for the past two years they have been side by side. And I miss her so much it makes me sick. We never had a fight. We had tiffs but who doesnt? All sisters have tiffs. But never anything serious. These thoughts have been going through my head since yesterday, and last night caught up to me. I couldnt stop crying and I didnt want to wake Matthew cuz he had Load Barn this morning. My attempts to hide didnt work and he found me on the floor in the spare bedroom. I just didnt want to wake him up. But he says there is a switch on my side of the bed that lets him sleep so if I'm not there he cant sleep. That helped me calm down a bit and we went back to bed. Everytime I turned away from him he would check to make sure that I was still there. He is so afraid that I am going to leave him and go back home. I think we ned to have a talk. Maybe tomorrow. He doesnt need to worry about this. Well, maybe tonight, we'll see how Load Bsrn goes. If it went well then we can talk, if not, I'll wait till tomorrow. I'm so homesick. But my hatred for this place is getting better,
Tuesday, June 01, 2004
Basking in Dorkdom
So every one knows that I am a dork but here is another example. I got my ID last week. For those of unfamiliar with militry ways a civilain cannot go on base without militayr personal without an authorized ID. My ID states that I am an AF dependent and can go on base alone. Well I got mine and I am so excited. Because I am a dork. I took Matt to work today and I got us on base with my ID. I was all giggly like I got a new toy or something. Toady when I pick him up I will be all by myself in the car. Its the small things in life. But it is cool knowing that I can do something not everyone else can do. heeheehee. I'm so cool.
P.P. Bret called. Looking for Matt. Just got back from TDY. Thought some of you would be interested.
P.P. Bret called. Looking for Matt. Just got back from TDY. Thought some of you would be interested.
Mosquitos
As a direct result of our fishing adventure I became a meal for the bugs around here. A person can bathe in DEET and it doesnt matter they will eat you alive. This state doesnt have mosquitos, it has small birds who enjoy sucking blood. And this is a bad year for them i'm told. Of course it is.
I had to take Matthew to work today. The plan was that I was going to take the truck and go get some groceries. (Very Suzie homemaker if you ask me) but that plan was derailed since Matt has the debit card and the credit card. I need to get a job so I dont feel so dependent on him. He was freakin out last night because I have a ticket home. When we bought my ticket up here it was cheper to buy a roundtrip than a one way. So my return flight leaves at one the afternoon. He is sure that I am going to leave. I'm not. hough I'm not going to say that I didnt think about it a little. There was a litle consolation in knowing that I could go home. But one that would be running away and I have never run away from anything. And two I couldnt leave Matthew. I love him and I cant live without him. Theere is in indescribable feeling of comfort when he puts his arm around me when we watch Cops lol. And There is a safety in knowing that he is next to me when I fall asleep. And My day is complete when I wake up and se him laying there. Plus I would have to haul those suitcases back and there is no way on God's green Earth that I am doing THAT again.
I told Matthew I would make him cheese ravioli tonight for supper. This is a first attempt so we'll see how it goes. Usually I need to fine tune things before I serve them to other people. We'll see. He is very picky so Iam a bit nervous. Wish me luck.
I had to take Matthew to work today. The plan was that I was going to take the truck and go get some groceries. (Very Suzie homemaker if you ask me) but that plan was derailed since Matt has the debit card and the credit card. I need to get a job so I dont feel so dependent on him. He was freakin out last night because I have a ticket home. When we bought my ticket up here it was cheper to buy a roundtrip than a one way. So my return flight leaves at one the afternoon. He is sure that I am going to leave. I'm not. hough I'm not going to say that I didnt think about it a little. There was a litle consolation in knowing that I could go home. But one that would be running away and I have never run away from anything. And two I couldnt leave Matthew. I love him and I cant live without him. Theere is in indescribable feeling of comfort when he puts his arm around me when we watch Cops lol. And There is a safety in knowing that he is next to me when I fall asleep. And My day is complete when I wake up and se him laying there. Plus I would have to haul those suitcases back and there is no way on God's green Earth that I am doing THAT again.
I told Matthew I would make him cheese ravioli tonight for supper. This is a first attempt so we'll see how it goes. Usually I need to fine tune things before I serve them to other people. We'll see. He is very picky so Iam a bit nervous. Wish me luck.
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