Katie

Yesterday I talked to Katie for awhile online. I know that I have not been gone that long, but I miss her sooooo much. When you live with someone there becomes a comfort and a knowledge with that person that no one can truely understand until they experience it. Its been about two weeks since I have seen her. But we didnt really have time to do anything with her new job and trying to finish up with school and me trying to get ready for the wedding and the move... SO its really been about a month... Anyway, I miss her so much. There is no one that I have shared more laughs or tears with. We celebrated highs and comforted through lows. We shared secrets and a bathroom. How much more intimate can you get with a friend then sharing a toilet! LOL. Not having her in my life is like Im missing a part of myself. We shared one brain. Be the two of us we were fluent in Spanish! I will always treasure midnight McDonald's runs, Law and Order marathons, Boy Meets and any movie with evil cats trying to take over the world. :) We knew each other like no one else knew us. We had our own language where she can say "I need to do my F*cking F*ck." And I know whether she is referring to her Stats or her Organic. Where a look is enough for an "I know" response. Where she can walk through a door pointing and laughing hysterically and I know its because she left her shake in her car all night. The shake that was the sole reason we drove to McD the night before and then left in the car. We understand what each other goes through on "fat days" and dont try to cheer the other up. And when we look good, we look damn good. Our lives have taken us in seperate directions but for the past two years they have been side by side. And I miss her so much it makes me sick. We never had a fight. We had tiffs but who doesnt? All sisters have tiffs. But never anything serious. These thoughts have been going through my head since yesterday, and last night caught up to me. I couldnt stop crying and I didnt want to wake Matthew cuz he had Load Barn this morning. My attempts to hide didnt work and he found me on the floor in the spare bedroom. I just didnt want to wake him up. But he says there is a switch on my side of the bed that lets him sleep so if I'm not there he cant sleep. That helped me calm down a bit and we went back to bed. Everytime I turned away from him he would check to make sure that I was still there. He is so afraid that I am going to leave him and go back home. I think we ned to have a talk. Maybe tomorrow. He doesnt need to worry about this. Well, maybe tonight, we'll see how Load Bsrn goes. If it went well then we can talk, if not, I'll wait till tomorrow. I'm so homesick. But my hatred for this place is getting better,