Friday, July 30, 2004

Friday night

Welp,, here it is Friday and I am sitting in the living room by myself watching Ron White on Comedy Central. We were supposed to go bowling tonight but Matt stayed up for 26 hours and diddnt want to go anymore. I know that it is not all his fault since he had to go to that interview thing today, but I was really looking forward to going bowling. I am really disappoiinted. I want to cry right now cuz I was so excited to actually go out and then he says that we arent going to go. Because he isnt 21.. And all the guys are. And I am. Well, yes, but that isnt why we are going. We are going because there was a time when we loved going bowling. We are going because you keep telling me that I cant keep sitting in the apartment and doing nothing. Well, the problem is that we only do things when it is him who wants to do them. I fI want to do something he makes me feel guilty for wanting to do it and then mopes around until I finally say fine and we go home. I go do his stuff with him. I went fishing with him all the time and I didnt complain. I went. I'm sorry he is not 21 but that doesnt mean that we cant go out with the guys and have fun anyway. I know he needs sleep. I know but it is starting to feel like we onlt do what he wants to do. We only go to the movies he wants to see. He was going to make me go see IRobot for my birthday and I didnt even want to see it. What kind of birthday movie is it when you never even wanted to see it?> I dont know how to approach him with this without hurting his feelings. I dont think he does it on purpose, but it treally bothers me. And its not like I get to spend a whole lot of time with him. SO I just feel like it should be spent doing something that we BOTH enjoy. Thats why I was so excited to go out tonight. Because I know that tomorrow no one will want to do anything because they went out tonight to go bowling. It happened LAST weekend. It is happening THIS weekend and in all actuality it will happen again NEXT weekend. I am just so bored with everything. It ws something new and fun that we havent done up here yet. Oh, well, we'll always have something to not go to next week.

Thursday, July 29, 2004

We have no food

ok we do have some food but i have to actually prepare it and I am just so absolutely drained when I get home from work that the last thing I want to do is to make food.  so we are going to go get food tomorrow.  I suppose I should see if  i can find a new pair of kahkis.  And we are going to clean and maybe get unpacked the rest of the way.  I need to get things organized since mom and dad will be here in like two weeks.  I cant believe its so close.  I am so excited but I havent even really had time to think about it.  my life is work now.  And Matthew.  
Laurie was ina much better mood today.  Yesterday was her first day back and she was just really stressed out.  She owns 4 buisnesses and one of them is just starting up  so I can see where she would be under a lot of stress.  and then she got in a huge fight with her ex-husband and it was total drama.  We, actually I work in the beauty industry now and it is ALL drama.   ANyway, she was on a rampage yesterday.  Nothing was right.  No matter what it was, it wasnt right.   But today she was back to being cool Loaurie and not uber bitch Laurie.  I founf out today that I work with two other beauty queens.  I told you Rachel was Miss Teen Alaska.  Well, no surprise here, Laurie is an ex-beauty queen and so is Mitch.  This is a whole new world here.  I almost wish I could stay.  I really like it.  Maybe that will have changed be the time we are set to leave but I like it so much.  And it has only been a month.  Wow.  Has it been a month already?  I believe that it has.  On the 6th it will be one month.  Man how time flies by.  Welp, I must go to bed or i will never want to get up to do laundry in the morning.

Tuesday, July 27, 2004

Catch up

Welp, last night, well, today rather, Ma dream that I left him for another guy.  So now he is all paranoid about me leaving him.  If I was going to leave him I would have done a loooong time ago.  But since I have no plans on leaving him I am reaping the benefits of hisoia.  He is being extra sweet. So I wont leave.  He is such a dork sometimes. 

He also wants to get a shark.  They sell then at Wal-Mart.  It grsp to 8 feet long.  Yeah. where are we gonna put that? 

Work Note:  I might get to go to Vegas in Feburary for a Goldwell show.  We miggoto either a that or the Redken one.  They are both in Vegas.  So we will see about that.  I think it might be kinda fun.  But that is way in the future.  Ralph and Laurie came back today so all us managements have to start going tetings about hemerchandise and the new direction we are going to take the store.  It is all very exciting.  I am going to be a part of it.    So, Ralph came in to the store today to see how things are going.  I was wearing my khakis that I always used to wear at WM.  They have a couple of holes in the back pocket where they dcaught on a nail up be the service desk.. I never really thought anything of it.  Ralph said something about them before he left but I forgot about that when Iot dressed this morningHe  saw them today and he's like "Girl, those pants, how much would another pair oof those cost?" and he pulls out this wad of cash of of his pocket and was gonna give me some.  I'm ik"keep your money."  He's .like, 'this is how it works around here."  I'm thinking what you buy my clothes?  No.  I couldnt even take money from mom and dad when I couldnt afford to buy food!  I was NOY goingto accept his money.  I mean jeez they pay me to work there, I can buy some new pants the next time I m at WM.  I have just been wrking six days a week so I havent had time to go.  I didnt tell him that.  Maybe I should have.  Though I should be getting a nice little comission with this check.  I will use THAT to buy some new pants.  I was absolutely faberghasted.  Is that really how it works at some places?  I just accept money?  I dont know if it was some pay advance or what ut Itotally did not feel comfortable accepting that.  I know i must have turned red.  It was a veryuncomfortable situation.  What was more uncomfortable was the wad of hundreds he pulled out of his pocket.  Must be nice...

Sunday, July 25, 2004

Busy Weekend

We have made a lot of progress in putting our stuff away.  It is beginning to look like our home instead of an empty apartment.  The entertainment center is beautiful and oh so worth it.  I am responsible for putting the rest of it away.  But that is okay.  Did I mention that i got my license?  I think I did.  Oh, yeah I did. 

I'm getting so excited for mom and dad to get here.  I want to get the apt put together so when they get here it will be all ready and pretty and i am so excited cuz its our home!  And the bed is sooo great.  Matthew loves it.  He doesnt ever want to get out of it.  nd the chair will be the end of our marriage IF we couldnt both sit in it, but we can so it will be ok. 

I have caused some new wrinkles at work.  Not purposely.  Kateland is not happy with me because she thought that since Shannon was gone she would be the manager.  She made a comment the other day that if she was full time then SHE would be the evening manager.  Yep, I am making so many friends.  I cant wait till Rachel gets back.  She comes back on Tuesday. 

Matthew and I went to Dan and Ashley's wedding on Saturday.  It was really pretty.  They had it at the Green Lake Chalet.  Its a cute little cabin thingy right on the lake.  It made a pretty setting for the wedding.  There is a gazebo and they had a trellis with ivy and pink roses.  It was very pretty.  It is  the only wedding I have ever been to where the bride did a keg stand.  And DEFINATELY the only wedding where the MOTHER of the bride did a keg stand.  LOL.  It was a site to see!  But it was fun.  I enjoyed myself.  And I looked cute.  LOL.  Good thing my shoes came cuz my butterfly sandals looked PERFECT with my new little dress with my jean jacket.  I looked super cute.

Anyway, I need to put some stuff away and then go to bed. 

Friday, July 23, 2004


ok you can view the picturs at www.collages .com the user name is Rose and the password is 5233

A day of good news

Today has been a good day.  TMO delivered our stuff this morning.  Our living room is full of boxes.  We got the bed put together first.  It is so nice to have a real bed!  ANd my fridge is full of pictures which is the way it should be.  And we went to the DMV today.  I am the proud owner an an ALaska driver's license.  Yay for me.  Its pretty cool.  Y'all will prolly see it eventually.  Well, Matt and I are going to take a nap in our new bed but I thought i would let you know that we got all our stuff.  Oh yeah and the other thing is that mom got our wedding pics and they are somewhere online so I get to see those too.  I cant wait!  Once I know the address I will let you know.

Tuesday, July 20, 2004

Never more than we can handle?

This is Amanda's post, but I am borrowing it because she has a gift that I do not have.  I will change some of it, but it will make more sense when I do.

"The family now knows, so I’m free to discuss it.  Back in April, I (Amanda) posted the following: “Ever have one of those days where your entire life gets turned upside down and the one thing you counted on most to be your rock isn't? That was yesterday.” That April day, I got a phone call from my mom, saying that the doctor wanted to discuss the results of a routine blood test, and to bring someone with her.  “Bring someone with you” never bodes well.  The only person Mom could get a hold of was me, so I went.  She took the news better than I did:  Mom has leukemia.  The blood tests eventually confirmed what we suspected:  the type of leukemia she has is Chronic Lymphatic Leukemia (CLL), the same as Grandpa and Uncle Dan, who was diagnosed shortly after Grandpa’s death.  She is seeing the same oncologist as Uncle Dan, so he is familiar with both of their cases, since heredity seems to be an important factor.   It’s tough.  Remembering how Grandpa’s death affected me, I can only imagine how much it will multiply when I lose Mom.  And I can’t help but jump there.  There were so many medical advances even during the time Grandpa was sick.  But both Mom’s and Uncle Dan’s white counts are increasing at a faster rate than Grandpa’s did.  How do I live without my mom?  Even though I no longer call her as often, and she’s not the first person I call to share something, she is still one of the most important people in my life.  I can’t do it.  I can’t think about it.   There will be a time for that, later, when she’s sick more often, when she’s tired all the time, and when she starts wasting away like Grandpa did.  Most of the time, I am able to forget, because there’s not much to remind me.  It isn’t affecting her yet, and she still has as much energy as ever.  But every once in a while I’ll remember with a start, and my heart sinks and I hug her a little tighter and a little longer. "

I think about it a lot because I am not there.  I cant hug her.  I cant touch her and know that she is still here.  She didnt tell anyone cause she didnt want people to look at her differently.  I thing I know is that people do look at you differently.  I dont think that they can help it.  She didnt want people to focus on her being sick when they should focus on the joy of our marriage.  You never really accept this kind of thing.  I still have a hard time believing what it did to grandpa.  Sometimes I even have myself convinced that it was some horrible dream and he is still at home.  Safe healthy and the jovial man that I remember from my childhood.  But he was sick most of my entire life.  So my memories are few and faint from when he wasnt sick, but I cherish them.  And I will wish every day of my life that I was with my mom.  But I know that is noy what she wants.  She wantsd me to be here with Matthew, but that wont take away what I do not have.  More time with my mommy.

Monday, July 19, 2004


I dont remember if I mentioned that I love my job.  LOL.  No, I do.  I got my own key to the store yesterday.  Yes, that is right, two weeks into the job and they gave me a key to the shop.  Mitch also told me that I have to stay when Matt leaves.  I told her that would have to be discussed when the time comes!  LOL.  J/K.  Laurie (the owner) also own Max Musclle which is a body building type store.  She has a girl store and a boy store.  :) Anyway, we are co-sponsering a body building competition so we have all these body builders coming into the store to tan.  One gut was on the cover of July's Flex magazine.  He is HUGE.  His body provided the model for the Hulk movie.  Matthew is all up on getting a discount on supplements.  Yeah, like he is going to work out.  Maybe for like a week.  I am goint to go back to the DMV tomorrow.  For those of you who didnt know I failed my driver's test.  The first time ever.  I thought I could just go in and take it, but Alaska runs on a point system that I didnt know about.  Apparently moving violations are all assigned a point value and if you accumulate 12 points in 12 monthes you have to go to driver's school.  And I second guessed myself and overanalyzed a question.  I failed by one. You can only get four wrong and I got five.  So it's back tomorrow to try again.  Then off to work.  I'm doing some favors for them, pulling in some extra hours, so Mitch is gonna try to give me the whole week off when mom and dad are up here.  Less than a month.  I am starting to get nervous because so many good things are going on right now that something has got to go wrong here soon.  I have too many good things.  Unfortunately I'm afraid that the thing that is gonna give is Matthew.  That he will end having to go wherever it is they decide to go at the end of August.  But I'm gonna keep o n enjoying life and try not to think about everything that could go wrong.  But I need to go to bed.  Enjoy your day.

Sunday, July 18, 2004

Auntie Em

I am sooooooo excited!  I am going to be an aunt.  It almost makes me as happy as if it were me who was going to have a baby!  I cant quit smiling, I can only imagine how Laurie feels!  It is so exciting.  What a belated birthday present.  I can't wait.  Matthew says when it gets closer and we find a more accurate due date he's gonna take leave and we're gonna come home.  So we have a definate time that we are going to come home.  It gives me something to look forward to.  I think I needed something to look forward to.  Something to count down to.  Auntie Em, thats me.  LOL.

Saturday, July 17, 2004

Happy Birthday

Happy birthday to me,
happy birthday to me,
happy birthday dear Emily
happy birthday to me....
Another year has come and I dont know how next year can top this year.  I called mom and dad yesterday.  Dad aked me if I wanted to come home yet and my mouth said no.  I was shocked.  I know thats not what my head or my heart was saying.  I do want to come home.  I do.  I miss everyone so much.  But I said no.  Like it was silly for him to ask.  It wasnt at all.   But you know there are times that sneek into my being miserable and mess it all up.  Times when I look around and think this isnt so bad.  I have a nice little life here.  This isnt so bad.  You know I do have a nice little life here.  I am actually pretty happy expect for the sickening homesickness.  Huh, who would have thought homeSICKNESS would be sickening?  I'm so dense sometimes.  I have a good job.  I have a wonderful husband who thinks the sun rises and sets just for me.   I may have found that my future is in buisness.  There are only a few things missing.   People.  People who mean so much to me that I want to burst with love whenever I think about them.   People who made my life so rich for the last 22 years.  Thye paople with whom I have shared a million tears and countless laughs.  The people who made me what I am and who I am.  Time stops for no one.  It will keep moving  until it is no more.  And it is all we can do to keep up.  We dont know what it will bring to us, but we know it will not be more than we can bear.  So here is to a new year.  May it find us all with new hope, new laughs, and less tears.  May you be as blessed in your years as I have been in mine. 

Friday, July 16, 2004

Birthday Blues

Ok so you all knew that it was coming.  And so did I, but it just hit me today, really.  Tomorrow is my birthday.  I should be going to the Field House or Brother's cause that is what we did when it was somebody's birthday.  We would get pitchers of beer and dance the night away.  That what birthdays are for.  I know there is a bigger picture and all that, but bear with me while I wallow in self pity.  I am supposed to have a cake that my mommy made for me, with some childish character that I picked out, drawn oh so carefully in frosting.  I am suppposed to goto Peking with the fam and have chinese food.  And see Grandma laugh.  ANd Calvin run around like crazy. And see Cassie try to control her kids and Uncle Tim beam with pride at his grandchildren.  To see mom forget troubles for awhile and dad come in late but make it from work.  There is a system to how my life worked.  I miss that system.  I got a card from Grandma today.  I couldnt resist opening it.  There was a letter.  She told me about spending Grandpa's birthday with Rach.  HSe wrote "He would have been 75.  Grandpa loved birthdays."  So that is what started all of this.  Dont think that I take being with Matthew for granted or anything like that.   You all understand.  I am sure.    But we are going to go out for supper and go to a movie.  I dont know which one.  I, Robot most likely.  But I still havent seen Harry Potter.  So we will see.  Yep, happy birthday, Emily.  Quit whining.

Thursday, July 15, 2004

Wake up

Matthew woke me up this morning with roses. He said he was sorry and when he got out to the car he felt horrible for being so mean. I knew he would feel bad. He just isnt a person who can be mean. So all is well in our house again. and I promised to sit and watch Smackdown with him tonight when I came home. So we compromised and I got flowers. So now I shall go to work and hopefully my day will be as good as yesterday!

It's me again

So a couple quick notes on what;s up. Work is taking over my life. Here's the rundown. I have mentioned the spa thing which is part of it but a small part. I have also mentioned Shannon. Well, we fired Shannon today. First person I have actually fired. She is the last of the :bad" people. Apparently there was a time not so long ago where there were a lot of worthless people employed at our salon and Laurie (the owner) is revamping the staff in order to whip the place back into shape. It's gonna take a lot of work. SO Laurie brought in Mitch to take over for Ralph as general manager cuz Ralph got a recrd contract and is moving on. Oh and he posesses an uncanny resemblance to Ice-T. Anyway, She brought in Mitch and Rohnie and me. We are her managment staff. And she is hiring some new girls to work. One of them is Rachel. I love this girl to death! She is so pretty. She should be she is a former Miss Teen Alaska. While holding this title she traveled to Switzerland and killed the world record boar. Yes she is a boar killing beauty queen. So anyway, back to my point. Laurie and Ralph left today to go to Vegas for a hair show. Mitch is in Fairbanks cuz she has a race this weekend. And Rohnie is sicker than a dog. Chain of command puts me in charge of the store. It is my SECOND week. How great is that? So I have to work on my birthday, but only in the morning. What are you going to do?

Matthew is mad at me tonight because I got home from work and played on the computer instead of sitting on the couch with him. So when he left he was really cold. I have never seen the ice in his eyes like i did tonight. It was kinda scary. So we'll see what happens tomorrow when he gets home. If nothing else Ican hide at work. But i need to eat my supper and go to bed. i'm tired.

Monday, July 12, 2004

Dream 2

To dream that you are in a church, suggests that you are seeking for some spiritual enlightenment and guidance. You are looking to be uplifted in some way. Perhaps you have made some mistakes in the past which have set you back on your path toward your goals. With proper support, you will get on the right track again. Alternatively, it may also mean that you are questioning and debating your life path and where it is leading. You are reevaluating what you want to do.

To dream that you are having a conversation with your mother, denotes a matter that has preoccupied your mind and you are not sure how to deal with it in your waking life. It indicates unresolved problems that still need to be worked out with your mother.

To hear your mother cry in your dream, denotes some illness or affliction.

To see a faceless figure or person in your dream, indicates that you are still searching for your own identity and finding out who you are.

To see your childhood friend in your dream, signifies regression into your past where you had no responsibilities and things were much simpler and carefree. You may be wanting to escape the the pressures and stresses of adulthood. Consider the relationship you had with this friend and the lessons that were learned.

To see children in your dream, signifies your own childlike qualities or a retreat back to a childlike state. It is an extension of your inner child during a time of innocence, purity, simplicity, and a carefree attitude. You may be longing for the past and the chance to satisfy repressed desires and unfulfilled hopes. Take some time off and cater to the inner child within. Perhaps there is something that you need to see grow and nurtured.

Its been awhile

So today was pretty eventful. I am soooo tired. This morning Matthew had to be at work at ^am. Rob was gonna pick him up so he was waiting outside for him and along came a whole moose family. He came upstairs and woke me up so I could see them. Sure enough a momma, baby and daddy moose were all in our parking lot. I was pretty tired since I worked the night before and was heading to bed when Matt came back upsatirs cuz Rob hadnt showed up yet and he needed to be at work in ten minutes. SO I had to get dressed and try to wake up long enought to get him to work. I still had five hours before I had to be up and I wantedto make the most of those hours. He calls again at 10 cuz he has no way home so once again I had to get dressed and go get him. SO much for sleeping in. I havent decided if I want to slep in tomorrow or go get my nails done. I'll prolly sleep in. I know I will.
So you're all prolly wondering how the job is going. It is really going well. I really enjoy my job. I havent been able to say that for a long time. I have my problem person though. Her name is Shannon. She has the worst attitude ever. She doesnt want to work but she wants everything handed to her. For instance she thinks that my job should be hers cuz she has been there longer. Yeah, no. Mitch is trying to get her out. Yesterday she felt it was more important to find an apartment or a puppy than help me with the work. and she thought that since there were no notes then there was nothing for her to do. In my mind there is ALWAYS something to do. Work the overstock, straighten shelves, dust. There is ALWAYS something, it just might not be something you WANT to do. So while I am working she is playing. That pisses me off so we are not on good terms and I know she is gonna flip when I am her boss. Mitch is hoping it will be enough to make her quit so they dont have to fire her. Anyway, she asks me "So you dont care about doing hair at all?" I'm like "NO, I'm in it for the buisness part, not the salon part that is just a bonus" she was so disgusted. Does it matter why I'm there? No. It does not. So other than her, I like my job a lot. Of course my bodfy is way out of retail shape. I am not used to being on my feet for 8 hours anymore. I cant believe that I used to work for 8 straight hours without a break. How did I do that? Anyway, I am going to make some food and go to bed.

Friday, July 09, 2004

Yeah, I'm doing it again

So we are trying to open a new spa here on the south side. It is gonna be awesome, but we are doing so much work. We have been running between the spa and the salon and the warehouse... I cant sleep because i keep thinkin of all the stuff I didnt get done today and that I left for Rohnie to do tomorrow. And I want to go in tomorrow to help work. This is so sad. Why do I let work do this to me? I let it become my whole life. Which right now isnt a terrible thing cuz it at least gives me something to do. Other than sit around and miss home and eat and watch tv. But unemployment was fun while it lasted. But it did get old. It is nice to be among the humans again. OH! I almost forgot. I rang up a lady today who had a tigerhawk on her checks. I asked her "Are you from Iowa?" I think I caught her off gaurd. SHe's like "What? No.' I was like "Oh well, I saw the tigerhawk on your check..." And she goes "oh that, my husband is from Iowa. I am surprised that you knew what that was." So i told her I was from Iowa and that I had just graduated from the U of I and the check tugged my heart strings. Anyway, her husband is from Independence and a huge Hawkeye fan. So that was nice to see a bit of home. It made my day.


I recieved six packages today via parcel post. mostly clothes and such. And all my pictures. They made it fairly alright. Some glass broke but thats no biggie I can still hang them up with no glass. Needless to say I have spent this evening bawling my eyes out. I think its something I have been needing to do but resisting. I have been doing really well here. I love my job, I love my home and i love my husband. I have never been so happy, but that doesnt stop the longing for the past. I dont have a Katie in my life anymore with whom I can share anything. (there are some things matthew just doesnt talk about like PMS) I dont have Christina who was seperated from me at birth. I dont have a Karrie who could make me laugh no matter what with so0me smart ass comment. I dont have a mommy to cry to cuz she is asleep when I can talk to her. Anyway, I have cried cuz I keep looking at my pictures. I have so many pictures and so many memories and so many friends, and they are all so far away and all I have left are my pictures. But it feels more like home with my walls covered with the people I love. There are more to add to the walls. There are new memories to be made which will travel to my next home. ANd there are people out there waiting for me to be their friend. I can do this. I know I can.

Thursday, July 08, 2004

Mommy call me!

One this that sucks about this is that I am three hours behind y'all. So on nights like these when I have insomnia I cant just chit chat. Whether on the phone or online sonce at mignight its three am for you guys and most of you are in bed. And that sucks cuz Matt's not here so I am all by myself. Oh well, I start workin 1-9 tomorrow so I can sleep in. I think that my shifts are gonna kinda vary cuz Rohnie needs help some days with recieveing especially if I do a big order. Things are going really well at the salon. I really like it but there is one drawback. You know when you go into places it seems like every pretty girl in the world works there, yeah those girls work there too. But they are all so super sweet though. Especially Rachel.. She just started too. I almost wish she wasnt going over to our new spa. She's gonna be a receptionist at the day spa we own. And yes, I get employee discounts at the spa. Sweet, lord how I love this job. It is a nice change. Of course it is going to be all I talk about for awhile cuz its new and exciting and I have no life. LOL. So the car thing has kinda been put on hold for nopw for any of you who were wondering. We're prolly gonna go lookin this weekend. W/E. Right now it is workin out since Matthew works whi8le I'm asleep and I work when he is asleep. But it will be nice not to have to worry about whether out not he will be home in time for me to leave. ANd I'm sure he doesnt want to have to worry about me being late. SO It will come. Well, I suppose I should try to fall asleep.

I guess mom called today. OOps I havent talked to her since my initial interview. Bad me. But I called her back and she didnt answer or call back so I am a bit concerned. I know that I am making something out of absolutly nothing and that is what I am very good at! LOL. Anyway I was going to bed wasnt I? So here I go.

Wednesday, July 07, 2004

My first day

My first day went well. I think they are pretty impressed with me. I think that I know more than they thought I would. Like about inventory and ordering and stuff. I got the feeling that they are going to pay me more than what they thought they would just because I know more. But it was fun. The day went really fast. And it is a prettyu casual place. I cant wait to go shopping. There is no real dress code except no revealing clothes and no jeans. I can even keep my nose ring in! So I told Matthew that I want to go shopping for my birthday present and get a bunch of cute clothes to wear. ANyway, I learned alot about the computer system, and how to order products. That is one of my main responsibilities. Rohnie does it too but there is so much I will get it started on Mondays so it is ready on Tuesday when we are both there to meet with the venders. Otherwise I have to delegate jobs to the girls who work evenings and make sure they are doing their work. I guess there are a couple of problem girls. One likes to hide from customers and not check them out or work the shelves and the other has a major attitude cuz she thinks she should be the manager. Rohnie says I will have problems with her cuz she wants my job but Mitch is trying to get rid of her. So we'll see. I mean I am really easy to get along with, I'm a pretty laid back manager as long as you are doing your work. If you're not then I can be pretty mean. But that's why I get paid the big bucks. But thats pretty much all for now. I need to eat something I am starving!

Monday, July 05, 2004


Tonight is the first night without Matthew. He went to mid shift. He goes in at midnight. I have to get myself used to sleeping by myself again. This sucks. I cant sleep without him. First i couldnt sleep with him. Now I cant sleep without him. I have to go to work at 10 am tomorrow. Right around the time Matthew will be getting home from work. Then I will get home as he is getting up to go back to work. This is going to suck. But he will hopefully be going to Load Barn so he will go back to working during the day. So we will have the evenings together. And I have Fridays and Staurdays of. SO its not like we will never see each other. He says that he wants me to take this job. IWe talked about it and he says that if I really want this job then I need to take it. I really am excited about working at this place. It is sooooo me. And I already like the girls that I have met so far. So we will see how tomorrow goes and then I will make my final decision. Now I should go to bed and hopefully fall asleep. I miss him so much. I dont know what I am going to do if he ever gets deployed...

Fourth of July weekend

We had a pretty good holiday weekend. We went camping. We were supposed to meet some of Matt's friends who told us to come out to the campground on Fort Rich and camp with them./ They told us that they had plenty of food and we didnt need to bring any food. Well, when we got out there noone was there. So we had no food no grill. Smith brought six trout that he had caught the night before. So we jimmy rigged a grill and cooked the trout. All in all it was very peaceful. I can tell you it has been a long time since I have had to cop a squat in the woods. The trick is to do it fast enough that the mosquitoes dont have time to realize that you have beared skin that has not been bathed in DEET. We might go again mext weekend, but I dont know if I will go. I'd hate to camp with Aunt Flo. Thats gross. So we'll see. It was a really pretty spot though. Withthe lake and the mountains. It was neat.

Matthew and I have been obsessed with Cops lately. He downloaded the theme song and burned it off so every time we see a cop we sing the song. And Today we went to Best Buy and there were like three cop cars and 6 cops so we drove by witht the mindows down playing the cops theme song. It was funny. LOL. Ok its probably not but we think that it is. We bought three COps DVD's. LOL. We're dorks. ut at lerast we are dorks together.

Sunday, July 04, 2004

Camping with Bob Ross

We went camping this weekend. I meanreal camping like tents and having to catch our dinner. Trout is really good cooked in a fire that you made. Heehee. One thing I do miss is indoor plumbing. It has been a long time since I have had to cop a squat in the woods. I found the key is to just get right on the egde of having to go so that you can do it real fast before the mosquitoes have time to realize that you have beared flesh you have not bathed in DEET. We packed up early though because some really horribly noisy people showed up and parked it in a space a little way from us. So we came home. But the area was really pretty. Matt wants to go back next week, but i dont know. I mean I would like to but I dont want to go campoing with Aunt Flo especially with no bathrooms. Its just gross. But anyway, we were over on Fort Rich. It was this pretty lake and all surrounded with mountains. I get asked all the time what it is like to live in Alaska. And I dont really know what to say. I mean how do you describe it? You really cant truely realize the beauty until you have been here. But Last night looking over the lake and the mountains, I felt like I was looking at a Bob Ross painting. And that is what it is like. It is like living inside a Bob Ross painting. I love taking pictures. When I leave here, I am going to have about a billion scenery pictures. But that is ok. Someday I will be glad I took all those pictures. Hopefully I will get some of these pictures up on here soon. Take care all.

Thursday, July 01, 2004

My new job

So things have changes drastically since I left that last message and I am sooo excited. So right as I was about to eat lunch (about 1:30) I get a call wondering if I could come in for an interview at 3. Sure I say. It was at LA Styles Salon and Retail store. I am soooooooooooo excited because they loves me. They want me to come in onb Tuesday to see how I mesh with the girl and kinda "try me out". I would be the front manager (as opposed to the back which is the salon part) Makin sure the girls were workin, I would do some inventory stuff like ordering. Checking out customers, and handling any complaints. Very similar to what I was doing at WM but in a way cooler place. Kinda think REGIS but bigger. I would work Sunday-Thursday 1pm-9pm. I dont know how Matt's gonna feel about it. I havent talked to him yet. But I am not officially hired yet so if there is a problem, then that's life. We'll work through it. But I am really excited abou tthis and i really want to get this job. It is so right up my alley. And I'm kinda middle managment which is ok, not as much responsibility right away, which is good. Definately a good experience especially if I am going to try my hand out at the buisness world! I jusr wish I could talk to Matt about it since it effects him too. But for now I think that this is a great opportunity. And we would still have the weekends to do stuff together. So its something to think about. Right now though I really need a nap.. I have had quite the day!

Oh, and I get to go shopping! Got a dress code to adhere to now! Dress for success thats what Mitch told me. She said that there isnt really a strict dress code but she wants hair and makeup done and to look nice. I must say I looked really cute today! LOL. So now I need cute new clothes!!! YAY!

Road Rage

So I had my first real experience with road rage. I am still shaking so if I am not typing well, I apologize. So I was driving home from my interview, which I will discuss later when I calm down, And there is lots of construction everywhere during the summer here so you have to be very aware of what is going on around you. Well, traffic was sucking as always and I was on the main highway and there are various roads to to onto this highway. Well, I was following behind a 5th wheel and we were blocking one of these intersections. This guy in a big Dodge truck was appartently in a really big hurry and honked at us, me in particular to move. Yeah, where was I going to go I had a camper in front of my and a dump truck behind me. I wasnt going anywhere. So I just looked at him and shrugged in what I thought was an apologetic manner. Apparently he took it differently. The dump truck let him in as is the way things work here. I have learned that there is a system to lettoing people go. Anyway, this jackass gets rifght up on my ass end. Not a good idea in a construction zone. You never know when you will have to stop. We came up on an intersection and the light was turning yellow so I slowed down with speedy right on my ass. I admit I was going to try to go through the light but the construction lady signaled for me to stop so I did. Turbo didnt like that Idea and almost hit me. Then I look at the mirror and he is all looking around his truck, I figure he is going to write down my plate numbers. Fine, whatever, I was doing what I was supposed to. The light turned green but the construction people werent out of the way yet. I hear "GoBitch!" Yep its my friend behind me. He's reaching for what looked like his door handle and I was freakin out. Now I realize in hindsight that he wouldnt get out since he wanted to go so bad but I was still scared. So he is still riding my tail. Finally another lane opens up. the one I need to be in and he races past me to get into it and aheadf of me so I just let him go. He flipped me off on the way by. I just glared. He really pissed me off. I kinda keep an eye on him just so I dont do anything more to piuss him off. He gets into the turning lane which puts him right next to me. This is it he is going to shoot me. I rooled up my windows to drown out his profanities. I just smiled and blew him a little kiss as I drove on. Which also in hind sight was not the thing to do, but I was pissed. But hindsight is always 20/20 as Jeff Kauffman would always say. I was really shaken up. I am stillnot real great at getting around this place so I really dont need any of that. I dont know if he ever found a pen to write down my plates. I dont know what would happen if he did. Its his word against mine and I have a clean driving record so whatcha gonna do? Sorry for any sweariing. But I am going to make some food and calm my nerves and then we will discuss my interview.


You know i've really been thinking about this and maybe I'm being told that this is what I am supposed to be doing. Besides the stress of WM I really enjoyed what I did. And if I could get in with a different buisness, something not as screwed up, it might be more than just a wild hair up my butt. I mean I know that it wont be stress free or anything, but did like it but I never thought of it as a career. It was just a job, you know. But maybe I should look twice. We'll see how this pans out. i need to go psych myself up for this interview today. but thought i would check in.