Birthday Blues

Ok so you all knew that it was coming.  And so did I, but it just hit me today, really.  Tomorrow is my birthday.  I should be going to the Field House or Brother's cause that is what we did when it was somebody's birthday.  We would get pitchers of beer and dance the night away.  That what birthdays are for.  I know there is a bigger picture and all that, but bear with me while I wallow in self pity.  I am supposed to have a cake that my mommy made for me, with some childish character that I picked out, drawn oh so carefully in frosting.  I am suppposed to goto Peking with the fam and have chinese food.  And see Grandma laugh.  ANd Calvin run around like crazy. And see Cassie try to control her kids and Uncle Tim beam with pride at his grandchildren.  To see mom forget troubles for awhile and dad come in late but make it from work.  There is a system to how my life worked.  I miss that system.  I got a card from Grandma today.  I couldnt resist opening it.  There was a letter.  She told me about spending Grandpa's birthday with Rach.  HSe wrote "He would have been 75.  Grandpa loved birthdays."  So that is what started all of this.  Dont think that I take being with Matthew for granted or anything like that.   You all understand.  I am sure.    But we are going to go out for supper and go to a movie.  I dont know which one.  I, Robot most likely.  But I still havent seen Harry Potter.  So we will see.  Yep, happy birthday, Emily.  Quit whining.