Sprouting

Matthew has been asking for about a month or so when I was going to "start sprouting?" I kept telling him that I am. These stretch marks arent for fun, you know. But last night we were in the kitchen, and he goes "You are getting big." See, I told you! I am not just making this up!!! LOL. I am going to go to Wal-Mart today and look at baby stuff to put on layaway. I cant help it. I need to. I am so tired of waiting... I want to put together my nursery. I am just so tired of waiting for something to happen. I have to start getting stuff. I am not having a shower so I wont be getting a ton of presents, so I have to pace out the buying of stuff, so I dont have to do it all at once. I suppose I could wait till after the 14th, when I maybe know what we are having, but that is what layaway is for, so I can take off anything inappropriate, and add on new stuff. Anyhoo, I need to go get something to eat. Got those crazy hiccups again.

You know out of everything that is going to happen to my body and emotions in the next few months, there is only one thing that scares me. That I actually worry about. And its not the labor, its not the pushing or the birth... Its not the pain. Its the thought that after a human rips its way out of my body, there are still other things that have to also come out in the following days. And its the thought of going to the bathroom AFTER makes me want to cry with anxiety. Why is it that the thought of having a baby does not worry me, but the thought of going #2 scares me, well, shitless. I am ok, with everything else, cuz I know that I can do it, and I have no ill concieved notions of being Super Woman, trying to do this au naturel. So I am ok with that...but...Anyway, that is what is new in the area of baby-ing.