Why can't I sleep?

Its almost midnight. I should be sleeping. Everyone else is sleeping. Misters is going to be up in a few hours... but all I can do is watch the baby monitor and listen to him sleep while my mind wanders through thoughts I can't do anything about, but that isn't keeping me from obsessing about it. Houses, jobs, cars, moving, doctors, daycare, schools, Churches... We need new everything, but I can't start looking because I don't know where we're going. Not for sure. Illinois or Missouri. I don't know. So all I can do is make lists. Lists, what the hell good will that do. I have 800 goddamn lists, but nothing to do about them. SO here I sit wondering what will happen... Knowing I can't just let things happen and hope that they will just fall into place. Will they just fall into place? Of course not, I don't live in a damn movie. So here I sit, watching my baby sleep through a monitor, and worry about his future. In every way possible, I worry myself sick about my baby. My Misters. I know that is the story of my life from the moment he was born... I just want to do good by him, you know? God, I'm tired. It is starting to make me a bit loopy, and nonsensical, huh? I just have all of these thoughts racing through my head and I can't make it stop. Make it stop... I need to sleep I have a whole day of work tomorrow and then Matthew wants to go to a movie, and I have to leave Misters with a babysitter. I hate leaving him with other people. Especially right now, cuz he is teething and in pain, and I won't be there to comfort him... He gets his little doggy lip and cries, whimpers, really. Ok, I need to sleep because I am just rambling here...