Pictures from the MS Walk

This is my desk lst week with all my To-Do piles.

This is early registration/bib pick up on Thursday night.

Today is the day. Diana is giving the volunteers some last minute instructions.

Directing parking while "The Great One" looks on.

Setting up the Coca-Cola trailer.

Shuttling the walkers to the starting line. What a BEAUTIFUL day for a Walk.

These are our Money Runners from Wells Fargo

These girls did a GREAT job as the "Big, Wild Animals"

Registration table at the Millenium Hotel

Hanging banners at the starting line

Outside the hotel

Subway Sandwich guy.

Waiting for the start

And They're off!!!

Coming around the bend...

Our first runner is on his way in.

Cheerleaders bring them in

The guy in the front has already finished twice, but he would go back and meet his teammates and run them in.

Pretty good time for running with a stroller.

The line for the hotdogs

Selling the old walk tee shirts so we can buy tables

This is Gene, Diana's husband, at the grill

This one is for me. You cant put me in a location like this, with a camera in my hand and thing I wont get some scenery shots!

These are my favorite team sirts. Their team name was "Wilder Women" and this is the back (obviously)

And yes, I was there too.

The Walk

The walk went so well today. The weather couldnt have been better. Around 50 degrees and sunny. My face got a bit sunburnt. Anyway I dont have the exact numbers of participants or money, but I think it went very well. I will post pictures later. I am pretty worn out now. It was a really long day, but I had a lot of fun. If we are around next year I will totally do it again. oh, I do have one picture for you today though. I call it "Thank God, its over. And I survived!" LOL.

Baby Fever.

Someone in our house has caught a major case of baby fever (and its not me) but it seems to be catching. But we agreed that we woulkd wait till we came back home, but Matthew really wants to be a daddy. He says he watchs the people walk in front of the UPS store and he sees the guys holding the little hands while they try to walk... And he wants that. Awwww. Which just makes me so happy and so sad that I said he would have to wait. I dont want to wait, but I do cuz I want to be close to mom and dad and Matt's family too. And we are planning on going to Disney World in November with mom and dad. And I dont want to risk not being able to go so we would have to wait till after then. So we are kinda bummed. See what Baby Fever run rampant will do within a household?

Update....

The doctor called. Marcus has a fracture.

Boys will be boys

After we watched the playoff game at Marcus and Amelia's house last night the four of us went over to Load Barn so the boys could play hockey.

And it was all fun and games. And for some reason Matt starts beating up an orange cone. I dont know why.

All of a sudden Marcus goes RACING over and jumps over that rope. Needless to say he couldnt land. These boys arent professional bladers! Next thing we know he's on his back. Not gettin up. What an idiot.

Matthew talked him into going to the hospital today. There wasnt an Xray tech to look at the xrays, but there wasnt an obvious break. What an idiot, prolly would have been better off if he did break it.

Running out of time

The walk is a week from Saturday! Already! I am kinda freakin out. This week is gonna suck!

Easter

This is the Easter basket my Alaska mom got me. I would post a picture of the Easter box mom sent me, but we ate all the candy before I had a chance to do it!

Our award winning icicle. Okay, so the award and the contest were in my head, but we still won

Watchin hockey

Diana got me this minature rose plant as a thank you for my hard work

Sunrise

Valentine's

I couldnt remember if I posted this. Diana gave me this for Valentine's.

Grizzly's new collar

Before

Break up!

So do you remember the waist high snow and the snow hat on our grill? This is all thats left!

After

And then this is AFTER a week of almost 50 degrees

My baby is so little...

Look how adorable she is. She was so small.

Bitches

And one of the downsides of MySpace. I have so far loved it because I have been able to keep in touch with people I wouldnt have otherwise. Which is now both a good thing, and a bad thing. Here's why:

Sunday we went to Outback for supper with Marcuz and Amelia and when we were waiting for our check one of the "girls" (I say girls instead of Bitch) from L.A. Style came in with her husband. I literally wanted to vomit. Not because of her, but because of the situation. I told this to Carrie (posted it in her comments on MySpace) (Carrie worked at the spa and quit after what they did to me) Anyway this girl saw the comment. Well, Carrie knows how I meant it, the situation not the girl part. Well thats not what the girl saw. So she messages me (which I dont know how cuz my profile is private so only my accepted friends can see my comments) and says that she "thinks its funny that stupid fat bitches stick together". And the part that makes me giggle a little about all this, is how absurd she has just become cuz she always goes on about the "haters" and how they are jusat jealous the success of the LA Style "brand" and blah, blah, blah. Which I find to be humorous cuz I NEVER said anything against HER, just about the situation that I am drowning in, but she comes back at me all defensive and insulting. Who's the hater now? This whole thing is just DRIPPING with irony (maybe not the right word, contradiction maybe works better than irony)! I think that it takes one to know one and she is in NO place to call anyone fat since she is quite over weight. No place to call anyone a bitch cuz she epitomizesthe word. And LEAST OF ALL should she be calling anyone stupid she she STILL WORKS FOR LORI!!! And calls Lori her hero and thanks her for all the good things that are happening in her life.

OMG, for being that stupid, you deserve whatever she does to you!

I am so sick of being sick. And I dont even really FEEL that bad but I do. Its wierd. I dont really have a voice, which I proceeded to ruin evenmore at the play off game last night, and will do again tonight... I just forget that I cant talk cuz my throat doesnt hur. It is just wierd. I cant wait till its over. It better be over soon, the Walk is a week from Saturday. There is a lot of stuff I need to do and I need to have my voice to do it!!! A week and a half... I cant believe its almost here. Soon I will have to go back to working at the commisary every day... Boo. At least its warming up so Its not so miserable. Boo again.

Wow, I was just atchin the news and some lady drove her car off a cliff at Earthquake Park and walked out into the Inlet. Those mudflats are suicide! I guess maybe that was her intent. I'm sure she died. If you get stuck in those flats and the tide comes in... you're dead. They cant get you out of that. Yeah, she died. Man, she had two kids. Thats really sad. Really sad.

Man, I need to watch the news more often. Anchorage is getting a new mall with.... TARGET!!! By Fall! OOOh, KOHL'S and OLIVE GARDEN!!!!!!! YES!!! I am SO happy!

Easter

For the first time I ddnt really want to call home for a holiday. And when I did they were all so happy and laughing the way I havent laughed since I've been home, around the table with my family and a deck (or two) of UNO. I'm glad I did since manda answered the phone, I havent talked to her for months. But it was so depressing. Especially since we arent really doing anything. I wanted to go to Aleyasks for the sunrise service, but we couldnt. I wanted to go so bad, now I have to wait a year, I WILL go next year, with or without Matthew. I hate hoildays.

Friends

I am so happy I get to have my friends back. Now that Danielle and Melissa dont work at the store anymore, I dont have to feel guilty about seeing them. I limited my contact with them because I didnt want to somehow get them in trouble. Like the bitch would find out they were hanging out with me and somehow take it out on them. So now I dont have to worry about that and I get my friends back. Stupid bitch, making me miss out on nine months with my girls. I dont like girls all that much so when I find some that I get along with I want dont want to limit my time with them but at the same time, I am not going to put them into a bad situation (unlike SOME people I know!) just because I want to be with them. But now I dont have to worry about it! Yay. I have been pretty lonely since Tara moved to Kenai. Matthew is great, but I need my girls. It is so funny that a person like me, who really cant stand most girls, has, no needs, to have HER girls around her. Cuz the girls I'm friends with are awesome. I only pick that best people to be around me. Well, most of the time. There was that one HUGE mistake... But we will not dwell on past mistakes. Just on the great feeling of having your girlfriends back.

Just a couple updates for you.

Danielle called to tell me that she finally quit the store and reported Lori to the Labor Board. They are putting together an investigation. Good news.

They are sending Matthew to ALS (Airmen Leadership School). And he is NOT eligible for the new ForceShaping going on, you have to have 6 years in service. So still not coming home.

Alan Thicke was at the Ace's game tonight. No, really. It was kinda cool. At first we thought Bob was joking when he said that Alan Thicke was there, but then they gave him the microphone...

Grizzly is recovering really well from her surgery. She got spaid. Jackie was a little distraught though. I dont blame her, the last time we took her playmate away, he didnt come back.

We arent doing anything special for Easter. I got an Easter basket from Diana. And a box came frommo, but I am not going to open it until Sunday. I know whats in there though. Hey, Manada, we dont have Chicks, Ducks, and Bunnies here. I searched everywhere, so I know there are some in that box! (4 bags? Really?)

I've been fightin something off. Prolly what Matthew had. I slept 13 hours on Thursday. I went to bed at 5 pm yesterday and woke up at noon today. I slept more than i have been awake the past three days. But it has felt so good. Now if only I could only get the damn dogs to shut up and not wake me up.

Anyway, that is about it.

Take two

We may still be coming home. I wish I knew. If we do, it will be this year. I am disappointed. I was looking forward to hockey next year. I had made my peace with staying here. Now the stress has returned. Now I dont know what to feel. I am scared. I am nervous. I dont know how I feel.

Another disappointment!

The World Beard and Moustache Championships are going to be held in Anchorage in March 2009. We're gonna JUST miss it. Wouldnt that be SO FUN to go to!? I'm seriously disappointed that we wont be here!

I returned them...

No rollerblades for me. I just have to admit when I know that I shouldnt do something. I knew it was a bad idea, but I tried. And thats all I can do. At least I know I tried.

I have done it again

I dont know how or why I do this. I guess i'm just too good at doing anything. Now I am SO knowledgable and SO good at my current job, I have too much stuff to do. Because I know how to do everything, Diana just hands everything off to me to take care of. It is 3pm and I was supposed to leave at 1:30pm. But she keeps putting all this stuff on my desk to get done. She gets upswet when people do that to her, but she has no problem handing everything off to me. And then coming in and interupting me so I cant get anything done. And shethinks that I will get it dont the second that she hands it to me. Hello? do you see my in-box? Its full of all the OTHER stuff you have given me today. Put it down and I will get to it. My door is closed for a REASON! She cant solve any of her own problems cuz she dosnt know anything about how computer programs work. Its all logic really. There isnt anything difficult about it, just figure it out. And then she hands me these emails to respond to walker problems, but I dont have an NMSS email! I am not sending out my personal email to people I dont know, and I doubt many of them would open an email from someone they didnt know. I dont.

SO now I am in the position that all of these little things get handed to me cuz I figured out how to deal with them. They bitch all day long about this new program and how not user friendly it is, and how hoard it is to figure out. AND I just want to scream cuz its not that hard you just dont know what you are doing!!!! Its all logic, the program cant do anything that a person didnt put in there so anyone can figure out how it works. Just quit bitching long enough to figure it out! And the BIG problems arise when people. who dont know what they are doing, go in and try to "fix" things. So thanks to these said people, I couldnt get into my computer for 45 minutes this morning cuz they changed my user name and password and didnt tell me, and then clained to not know anything about it so I got to spand a half an hour with tech support so that they can tell me that these said people changed it. Didnt they tell you? NO, they didnt tell me! If they had told me, I would be working right now, not listening to elevator music waiting for your ass to pick up the phone. And since we felt the need to change my user name, it created a new user on my computer, erased my old user and all of my files and forms and programs along with it. So I got to try and recover all my stuff, and at the same time deal with everyone giving me stuff to do and I cant even get on my computer. Guess what, if I dont have all those files, i cant work. So go back into your office and let me fix what you tried to "fix".

And what burns me even more is that they do this shit on Fridays when I am not here. Its like they wait for me to leave to fuck up my shit. I am so pissed off right now, my head is going to explode. It is days like this that are pushing me towards smoking again, or taking up heavy drinking. The kicker is that you insult my intellegence by claiming that you dont know anything about what happened. I am not stupid, I know this stuff doesnt just happen! Computers donot just kick on at night and decide to erase user profiles and create new ones. Like I said they dont do anything that a person didnt put in there, so I KNOW someone did it. Just tell me what you did and 99% of the time I can fix it, but dont stand there and tell me that you know nothing about it, call Tech. Someone in this building had to have done this. There are three other people, and I know it wasnt me cuz I wasnt here. so that leaves 3. One of them barely knows how to work her own computer. That leaves two. And my money is on the office manager who cant just leave things alone. And has to be right about everything. And in this case, being wrong, but convinced you are right cost me all my information on the walk. Thanks. Now I get to recover months worth of work cuz your stupid ego.

Ouch

Ok, I hurt my wrist. I am chaulking it up to years of being off wheels, and a weakened wrist to begin with. The other day, I tripped over Grizzly and instead of falling on her, I ended up kicking a hole in one of our cupboards, and tried to brace myself and hurt my wrist. So today, Matthew asked me if I wanted to go to Load Barn and skate with him and Marcus. But I dont want to skate in front of anyone yet, cuz I will feel really embarassed if I cant stay up. And I would rather not have people around till I know. So I decided to try it out in the basement. I fell right away. Got back up, cuz it HAS been QUITE some time since I have had wheels on my feet. I did ok, for a little while, started getting my bearings and totally lost it. Tried to brace myself with the same wrist.

Maybe I'll just get a bike...

A Sad Laugh

You have to have a sense of humor. I've always believed this. It what gets me through most of these things that go on in my life. I have to laugh about it, or I may never stop crying. So last night I made myself a quesadilla for supper. And I cut the quesadilla with a pizza cuter. No big deal. Matthew came home and made a pizza for himself for supper. He opened the drawer to get a piza cutter out, come in the living room. Oh, Honey" "Yes?" (thinking he was going to ask if I wanted some) (holding up the pizza cutter) "Did you cut your quesadilla and put the pizza cutter back in the drawer?" "I must have... I have no idea... I dont remember." And I didnt. I dont remember putting the used, dirty cuter BACK in the drawer. I had no idea that I had done it. I told Matthew he had better get used to it, cuz it will probably get worse over time. "So I'm goign to have to examine my silverware before i used it cuz you might have put it back in the drawer?" "yep." You just have to laugh, cuz I am so sick of crying.

WHAT was I thinking?

Ok, in my desperate need to be "normal" I have decided that I need to do the things that everyone else is doing. So out of this desperation, I got some rollerblades. I miss skating, but I think I should have gotten skates and not blades. But Marcus, Amelia and Matthew all got blades cuz they were having a really good sale, so I got some too. And they are AWESOME! SO I put them on today, and I realized that i made a HUGE mistake. I do not have the balance to pull these off anymore. When I was young, yes, I loved my rollerblades, but never had anywhere to skate. Now I have a place to skate and not the ability. Since that time I have developed a very large lesion on my cerebelum which, if you'll journey back to high scholl biology, controls your balance. It is the reason why I would fail a field sobriety test. (not that I drink and drive anymore, not since my stupid college days)

Maybe I will go back and exchange these for skates :(, at least I'd be able to participate with everyone else, but I dont have the balance...

But I LOVE these rollerblades, I dont want to exchange them. Its one more thing I am going to have to give up while everyone else does whatever the hell they want to do. They get to rollerblade and have fun, and I have to hang back cuz my body is eating its self awhile one brain lesion at a time, and I dont seem to be dealing with this all that well. I'm depressed that I cant do what I want to do. I am jealous that Matthew, and Marcus and Amelia have yet one more thing to do without me. And that makes me so mad. Mad at them cuz they arent sick. Mad at me cuz I am. Mad at the world. Mad at my disease. And most of all, mad at me cuz I am letting this get to me as much as I am.

Just one more thing

She has one more jab at my gut left. I got a letter in the mail stating that the $500 I paid in July did not count towards my restitution payment and was denied by the court, so I still owe $500.Matt doesnt want me to pay it, he doesnt want to give her anymore money, and I dont either, but she wrote that I still owed for tanning account and unpaid products. Which is bullshit. But he wants to see reciepts of this stuff. Which would b fine but it would be VERY easier to back date the program and produce those "receipts". I know that if I were still there, I would be able to do it. And they have had 7 months to come up with whatever they wanted to. I left a message with Steve, but its Friday. All this comes on Fridays.... Anyway, I just want to pay it. I know we dont really have that money, but I could make it up pretty quickly, I think. The only thing is, I am over half way to being done with all of this. I have only a few more months until she can never touch me again. She will have no more claim over what is happening in my life. I know what I am going to do, I just have to figure out how to tell Matthew what we are doing. I dont want to anymore than he does, but this is MY life that she is fucking with, and I dont want her to have anymore reason to try to ruin anymore o my life. Plus, I want to be able to go home in June. More now than ever, and if this isnt taken care of, I wont be granted a travel pass.

Ok well, the man on the far left is Gary, our office manager, the woman in the red and black in the back is Sarah, she's the programs director, and woman on the far right in the blazer is my boss Diana. The rest are clients who's names i cannot post here. And I am standing by Mayor Begich.

When you give a Moose a cookie

Lance Makey proves 13 is lucky.

I have to admit I hadnt really gotten into the whole Iditarod race. I mean I went to the start and I know the significance but my interest wains after that. But this year was the 35th Iditarod and it was amazing. Lance makey won and made history. And it was exciting cuz he was SO the underdog (pardon the phrasing) because only three weeks ago nine of his ten dogs just ran and won the Yukon Quest which is a 1,000 mile race. (which, for those of you who dont know, is only 49 miles shorter than the Iditarod) No other person in the history of the races has ever won BOTH races in the same year (again within 3 weeks of each other) But Lance Makey did just that yesterday. His dogs are AMAZING!!!!! And a cool little tidbit that has been coined "Makey Mojo" Lance's dad won the Iditarod on his 6th try wearing bib number 13. His Brother won the Iditarod on HIS 6th try wearing bib number 13 and now Lance has won the Iditarod on HIS 6th try wearing bib number 13. Everyone said it was impossible to run the same dog team in both races and win both races. Just goes to show you what drive, training and a little faith will get you. All your dreams come true

Daylight savings

As much as I miss my hour of sleep, I do love that it is 6:45pm and the sun is still out. I do love that.

10:30am? Thats it?!

I knew this was goin to be a rough day when my alarm went off at 6:30 and I decided it would be a good idea to set it for two hours later just call and tell Gary and Sarah I was gonna be late, so thats what I did. And I didnt want to even get up. Now I am half asleep at my desk, and I cant get my brain to figure out what I am supposed to be doing, so I am writing this instead. Diana isnt here and we are 100 walkers behind last year and I dont know whatelse to do. There isnt a whole lot else I can do. i have all these team captains signed up but they dont have any walkers on their teams. What are you waiting for people!?!?!?! If all my team captain had the required four people on their team, then I would be above my quota and all would be fine. I dont know what else I can do here. I guess I could go to their place of business and put a gun to their head. "Sign up your walkers, NOW!" Yeah that would go over well. I hope Diana is enjoying her vacation cuz its gonna suck when she gets back. I am even going through the walk lists from last year and calling EVERYONE who participated, and offering to sign them up. What else am I supposed to do? I just want to go back to bed. I think I will probably do just that today when I get off work here. I shoudl go to the commissary, but I am so damn tired today. I just want to shut my office door and sleep on my desk. No one would proabaly even notice cuz I dont really talk much anyway, so it wouldnt really bother anyone.

Sponsorship.

Ok I would like to say that I can handle this, but I am WAY over my head here. Diana went out of town for her son's wedding and she wont be back till Monday so I am sailing this Walk ship by myself. Which would be ok if I could just stick to what I know, registering Walkers, helping team captains, basically the little details. But NOOOOO, all of this sponsorship stuff has come up and I dont know anything about sponsorships. Diana does all of that. Anything that deals with major money like that, she does, I just deal with the small stuff, the pledges and stuff like that. But the big companies, like the drug companies and the airlines and Chevron and stuff I dont do that. I dont know what is going on, Diana has a relationship with them, not me. So I am drowning here. So confused. I guess I will just hang on for dear life. I can only do my best, after that, its up to fate. The only thing is that the commitee at Alaksa Airlines is meeting on Wednesday so I have to get this grant request in by Today so they can present it on Wednesday. TODAY! Grrrr. I just want to go home and take a nap.