Amanda called me cynical. I dont want to come out of this cold, and cynical. I dont. But I cant help but think that may be part of the package. Think of the worst thing that anyone has ever done to you, the most betrayed you have ever felt, that person who betrayed you was one of the few people in a vast new place that you trusted, which is very hard for you to do, and you find out that not only did you not know that person AT all, but that they inlicted this pain on you, on PURPOSE, and premeditated. How do you not come out of that a little cynical? I have done my best to handle this in the best way that I know how, but I am not going to come out of this unscathed. I wish that I could have, but as you can imagine, that isnt going to happen. I just hope that my PO is cool and helps me get through this as easy as possible. Anyway, I should probably go to bed. I am not really feeling that well today.