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Friday, December 19, 2008

Faith

A few weeks ago, mom and I were talking, at the height of my stress breakdown, and she was trying to tell me that I needed to trust the God takes care of His children. And I so wanted to let myself remember that and let go of my need to be in control... And Amanda tried to tell me the same thing, but my fear got in the way of what I knew was true. But in my weakness I thought that I knew better and I didn't trust. So a few days ago, I broke, or maybe I healed, either way, I realized that doing it on my own was SO not working. And I prayed. I prayed for help. For guidance. To help me let go of whatever it was that I was trying desperately to hold on to... And I cant ignore that after I let go of myself and asked for guidance and support, this new plan has taken shape so quickly. And all these pieces seem to be falling into their places, and I cant believe that it is simply by chance. Even more evidence that God puts the people you need, in the place you need them, when you need them. And I think tat is why I feel so good about this, why it feels like it is right. It is such a freeing feeling. I am just so happy, giddy. I need to keep my faith.

1 comment:

Laurie said...

It also kinda makes you wonder if Mom/Grandma/Shirley just may be a guardian angel to you during this phase in your life. I will even bet you that Grandpa Ervin and Mom/Grandma/Shirley has put their heads together to help you through. I just know it.