10 years.

So there was this big anniversary this week, that I thought I could ignore and just let it pass. Turns out I cant. Has it really been a whole decade? 10 years since I lost my sense of well-being and became a person always aware of what could go wrong at any moment. But I cant deny how lucky I truly am. With my on going involvement with NMSS, I have seen what this disease can do to people. In the two years I have been volunteering, I have seen people slowly get worse. And I have to realize how lucky I am that I have the "version" that I have. Numbness, lack of balance, weak bladder, poor concentration... These things are so minor in comparison. I am blessed in so many ways. Especially my family. I never thought that being pregnant would end up being the time in my life when I felt the best. It was so amazing because I felt better than I have ever felt in my life. I felt like I was normal. Like I was a healthy woman... I cant describe it. Maybe it was because I was so young when it happened, maybe it is normal when you are diagnosed with a chronic disease, but I don't ever really think of myself as "healthy" or "normal" because I will always have something wrong with me. I don't dwell on it as much anymore. It barely crosses my mind, unless I have a flare up of some kind, but sometimes, it hits you. You cant hide forever. Sometimes you have to have those moments when you are vulnerable and afraid. Because I never know what will happen. I don't know what I will wake up to the next morning. So every morning I am able to get out of bed on my own, is a day I say a little prayer of thanks. Thank you that I still have control over my body. In the back of my mind I always know that there may come a morning when I will not be able to get up, or walk, or see, or whatever. But I also know, in the back of my mind, that it is possible that, in my lifetime, we may see a cure. I am not going to start tauting the possibilities of stem cells or anything. Now is not the time. But the prospect is exciting. So here's to ten more years of health and happiness.