She TRUELY is a psycho

Ok, so up the creepy factor of my life and a MAJOR Pro in the whether or not we should move. I was out taking pictures today since it was a beautiful sunny, clear day (Igot some BEAUTIFUL shots by the way). So I was down by the port cuz there was a good view of Denali, and I wanted to go to Earthquake Park to get some good shots but I couldnt remember how to get there from the little random street I was on so I was making some wierd turns and stuff. I looked in my rearview mirror and there was a white SUV behind me. My heart skips whenever there is a white SUV behind me. She drives a white Escalade. What if its her? I looked up and it WAS her. She was RIGHT on my butt.And it wasnt just by chance. It wasnt like she HAPPENED to turn in behind me and I was just turning on common streets and it was all coincedence. It wasnt, she was FOLLOWING me. And she looked like she was writing something down. I was shaking so hard. That stupid bitch. She was FOLLOWING me. I wasnt doing anything but driving. I called Steve and told him it happened. And I called uliet, even though she's not my "special friend" anymore. I didnt have the phone number to my new one, so I called her and told her so if She tries anything, I have already told them. I dont know what I would do if the cops showed up at my house and tried to arrest me again for some crazy story she told them about me. God knows what she is capable of. Please pray that she wont do anything.

You have no idea how scared I am. I would like to think that I am above this, but she got to me. She got to me. She has the control. I have nothing. I dont know what to do. I dont know what to do. I am so close to having this be over. It has been over 6 months. Why? Why did this happen? Am I back to this? Am I back to feeling powerless, and vulnerable, and weak, and terrified? I am NOT any of those things and she is the only person in this world who can make me feel that way and I HATE that. I hate that she still has that much power over me. I hate that. I dont want her in my life. I dont want to look in my rearview mirror, with fear in my heart that she will be there. I dont want to worry that whenever I go somewhere, that she may be there by chance. I hate feeling this way. But I still can not bring myself to say that I hate her. I have EVERY reason in the world to hate her. And now I know that she still is after me. For whatever reason it is, she is still after me. And I know that she has put one of my friends in a very questionable position at the store, cuz she called me to ask my advice. And that pisses me off too. They are telling her to just do this, and not ask questions and not tell anyone. And I am sick at how familiar that sounds. And I told her at the beginning that if she stayed, to just be aware of what was going on and the second she felt uncomfortable about something she was told to do, to leave, quit, get out. And I repeated that last night. I truely believe it.

I hate all of this. If it wasnt so much stress I would say let's get out of here. but who knows now.