My tears dont compromise my strength

I've been working on my story. I didnt realize how much I hadnt dealt with what has happened to me. I was young. I was scared. And so I pushed it down as far as I could and left it there. And now I am diggin all of that back up and its really hard. Really hard. My fear is that I wont be able to get through telling it. I know I will cry. And I dont mean to cry. I know it has been a lot of emotions, and I know it has been brewing there for 8 years, but I want to be able to tell it with convidence, and composure. But so much of what I feel, I know is residual from that day in Novemeber when I was only 16. But I ow I have so much more in the way of understanding then I did at that time. Now I thank God every morning I wake up and everything still works. That is a scary truth that I live with and have learned to accept. One morning I will wake up and someing isnt going to work. Not the way it should, if at all. Its not a threat, its a reality, but at the same time, I know that i am doing what I have to do to ensure that I dont have to have that morning.

But anyway, there is a site called facesofms.org, the link is under my link heading. I recommend if you have some time read some of the stories. Add your own. Whatever you do, spend some time there.

I have been readin these stories about people who are worse off than I am, I have age on my side. And a few about people who have the same or similar symptoms as me, but they are all older. Every story I have read, they had their d-day in their twenties or thirties which is typical. But I was 16. And I know that somewhere there is someone who needs to hear my story. Who needs to hear that someone else was young when they had their d-day. Someone needs to hear my story. So I am working on it. I will tell it. I will dig up those things I've worked so hard to bury. I will face those ghosts. And will cry. I will cry because my tears dont compromise my strength.