I just keep teling myself, one day at a time. I got my letter to go work at the comissary. I am going to have to work some long hours there to get caught up. But I want to help us get over this creavice. So I need to this. I am ready to do this. I am ready to help get us through this. I am ready to move on. I just hope that I can do all of this. I know that I dont have to do the "Charity" work all at once but I would like to get it done with as soon as possibe. It should only take a month, month and a half. And who knows, I might just enjoy it, depending on what I chose to do. But they dont get that very often! I am feeling better today. I got a wonderful email from Aunt Judy today that made me feel realy good about my decision. I wasnt sure I had done the right thing,until she sent me that and now I know for sure that I have done the right thing. I made the right choice. I know that I did. Even though I didnt "win" in the technical sense, I feel like I did cuz now She cant touch me ever again. But I can give Her a little kick in the ass with some phone calls to appropriate deptaments and licensing agencies. Like Steve said at the beginning of this, "Revenge is a dish best served cold." Not in the heat of passion (or pain, in this case) but in a calculated, efficient manner. Calculated. I know what I have to do. In my house, in my life, in my choices, in my revenge. Which doesnt even seem like the right word. Because I'm not doing it to HURT Her, but to show Her that She is not aove me. In ANY WAY. Even if She never knows that it was me who made those calls. I dont care about what happens to Her anymore. I really dont. I have no more energy to spend on Her. I am so tired, I am so exhausted and I am moving on. Because I have nothing else to give, and nothing else to lose. Because right now I am starting my climb back up from the bottom. But like I have said before, I can see the end now. I used to look up and see darkness. I knew that I had to go that way anyway, since I couldnt go down any farther, but I couldnt see what I was climbing towards. Now I see it. I see what I need to get to. I can see where I used to be and I plan to get there again, and surpass it.