I miss my husband. Thank God he will be home tomorrow. When he is here, I never truly realize what he does for me. He grounds me and makes me sane. I love my family, but being in this tight of quarters for this long is too much for me! I need him. I need to vent to keep my head about me. I am doing really well. I have snapped only a few times, mostly at Amanda. Some she deserved, some she didn't. I just need my house back. But I know as soon as they leave, I am going to miss them like crazy. Because when they leave I have to start facing reality. I m going to have to start facing leaving Hayden during the day. I am going to have to face getting ready to leave. And I am really worried about it. About the economy, finding a job, a home... I'm scared. I am SO scared. What will we do? How are we going to live? I have 6 months to agonize over this. Its like starting all over. And not like last time. Last time it was just me. Me, leaving to be with Matthew. But now we have Hayden... And he is my everything. I am just so scared. Nothing like having a child to realize there are so many more things in this world to be afraid of then you could have imagined. I need Matthew.