Ralph

So how is this one for you? Ralph was in the store today. He asked about me, if I was still here, how I was doing and so on. I was in the back on my lunch. I was talking to mom on the phone, otherwise I would have been out there early and would have seen him. I am not sure how I feel about that. He told Kera that he wasnt at LA anymore and had actually move to Washington, and the only reason he was in town was to get his son and then he was going back to WA. I am glad to hear that he got out of there. I miss him. I really do, he was my friend. And I have to believe that he didnt know anything about what happened until it was happening. I have to. And I also know that most of the things he has done was because she had him by the cajones. And knowing that he is away from her is a relief to me. She never deserved him, he actually loved her, she never gave that back to him. I dont think she could. So I wouldnt have been adverse to seeing him, knowing all of that, but I didnt. And somehow, knowing that I may never see him again... There are things that I need to say and knowing that I will never be able to say them... It leaves so much open to the environment, you know? At the same time, I dont need to open that wound back up by seeing him. I am happy. I am happy with my job, Matthew and I are doing better than ever and we're about to have a baby. I dont want to taint that with old feelings and unhealed wounds. I still know his phone number by heart... I wonder if it still works? And what would I accomplish by doing that? Nothing.