Mommy reports in...

So while I have a moment to myself, I thought I would check in. Hayden is laying content and wide awake next to me. Fully fed and bone dry. I am just watching him, and I cant believe that this little angel is mine. I look at him and I see the best of me. The best of Matthew joined together to make this beautiful, perfect little person. And when I have him on my chest, just sleeping, I can barely believe that a week ago he was inside my tummy (sometimes, I cant believe he fit!) not to mention how I managed to get him OUT. I think that is a miracle in and of itself. It makes you truly realize that awesome power of God, to know that he could create a love that can be so pure, and so strong. I am still really in awe. Like he isn't really mine, and someone is going to come and take him away from me. Oop, hold on while I take a break, we have another poopy.

Ok, make that two poopies. So I guess I will do my best to let you know how it was. I don't remember. And that is the truth. I blocked a lot of it out of my head. I believe that's how women are able to do it more than once. I was convinced that I couldn't do it at one point. I believe it was around the head or shoulder time. But I had been pushing for four hours by that time and I was tired. But it was all worth it. He is worth not being able to sit down or walk like a normal person. He is worth the bleeding and the soreness. When I look at his face all of those hours of pain disappear and all I see is him. And it has been so hard at times. And so frustrating, but I know that we are all learning together and I am able to keep my cool. Even with Matthew. But he is doing so good. He gets me what I need. He changes diapers. He cooks and cleans. He stays up with Hayden so I can get some sleep. I am going to miss having him around next week. And I almost cry when I see him holding Hayden. Playing with him. Sleeping with him.

Today is our 8 year anniversary. And 8 years ago, I NEVER would have imagined that the boy who went to my senior prom with me would become the man who completes my life in a way I never knew was possible. Would become the man that I would love be the with every ounce of my being. Would become the father of my child.

oh and or those of you who keep asking, I have lost 33 pounds.