I have time to kind of wrap my head around all this crap, and I realize that I cant wrap my head around all this crap. So three days of thinking had come up completely empty and complete futile in trying to figure out what is happening to my body, and what is happening to my brain. My brain. It isnt even my brain that is the problem! But it is definately a huge part of it. It is just so frustrating!!! I dont even know what I feel about it. And that seems to be my issue for the last few months, I dont know how I feel. I dont know what to feel. And that is frustrating. I am getting tired of just trying to live. I am just trying to keep my head above water, and I am so tired of tredding water. Its like all I do is tred water. I am so tired of trying to stay afloat. Because everytime I feel like I am getting myself stablized, something else is thrown on the pile and I start drowning all over again.