I cant stand this whole situation. I have to get my strong mindset back. I have to pull it out of the file, and dust it off. And face this just like I have faced the six months of my life. God, can you believe six months? Well not quite, on the 11th. But still, six months. Since all this shit happened. And now I have to deal with this. I tell you what, I dont want to sound cocky or anything, but I dont even know how I deal with all of this. I dont even remember. Like i block it out of my mind.

Anyway, I just have to wait until Tuesday, I cant do anything until then. I wont even know how bad it is until then, but I cant keep myself from thinking about it! It hits so hard when it comes so unexpectedly. I dont want to start thinking that bad things will happen all the time, but I dont ever expect bad things to happen so it always comes unexpectedly. And then I get knocked off my feet.