I was afraid of what today was going to bring. I tried and tried to convince myself that it was just another day, no big deal. But I couldnt force myself to believe it. But in the end I came home smiling and feeling loved. I talked to Amanda for a while. And Lew. And Matthew. And mom and dad, and they all sang to me, each in their own way. And that would have been enough for me. But Tara called and wanted to know if I wanted to come over. I hadnt told her it was my birthday (part of the "just another day" philosophy) but when I got there I told her so she made me pot stickers and noodles and we had a waxing party. And she mentioned it to her grandma and grandpa that it was my birthday so they stopped by Baskin Robbins on their way home from Costco and got me a little ice cream cake. Which made me cry. It was so sweet of them, and I couldnt get over it since mom had just said a few hours earlier that she was going to get me an ice cream cake but didnt know who to call.

My birthday showed me how much I am loved. Sometimes you forget how important it is to surround yourself with people who are worth your time. I know in the last week I have lost a lot, but right now it doesnt even matter to me. I have so much more than I could have ever needed. I just forgot about that. Yes, I had a good job and i got a peek into a world that I may never see again, but it isnt a world that I need. I know my world is the people who love me. My family, who stands behind me to catch me when I fall, and Matthew,who doesnt care what I do as long as we are together, and Tara who has been my angel through all of this. So in the end I had a happy birthday, because for the fist time in a week, I am breathing normally, and i feel calm, and safe. Yes, I had my life ripped out from under me, but my foundation didnt let me fall.

So thank you, to all of you for keeping me up. And never letting me fall.