We're comin home!!!

I'm gonna pull an Amanda and talk about my dream here. I usually can remember my dreams, if they were pleasant ones. If they were scary then all I can really remember is the feeling of terror I have when I wake up. Last night I was so scared, I hed to call Matthew up to sit with me til I fell back asleep.

I was at mom and dad's house and we were having a Christmas party. It was kinda chilly out but no snow. I was sneakiing around, crawling in the garden, cuz I dont thik I ws supposed to be there. And there was a kid with me, I think she was mine. And there was this machine that was like a bubble machine only it was snow flakes. When they came out of the machine they were really small but thet would grow and they would get so big that they would turn into clouds in the shape of snowflakes. (this part I am sure came from doing my Christmas cards last night, you will understand when you see them) I was laying on top of my little trailer/camper that I was staying in apparently watching the snowflake clouds and All of a sudden everyone was running because there was a tornado. I jumped off the roof was helping people to safety inside the house and I felt the need to shut off all the lights. And I remember thnking "The lights dont matter in a tornado, get downstairs" SO it is me and my child and Lew. left. And I could see the thing coming and I knew we didnt have time to get to safety. And I was holding on really tight to a pole, hand rail thing a la Twister, and we were get hit. And I had to choose which to save, my child or my brother. I couldnt hang on to both. And I woke up trembling, I dont know who I chose. I dont really want to know. But it scared me.

So here i am again, unconcerned with the count down. I am fighting myself from falling asleep which is what I really want to do. I had to open the store at 9 this morning and I have to again tomorrow. And I know I will be exausted, but I keep tellingmyself it will be ok cuz I can sleep on the plane. But the flight from Anchorage to Seattle, I can never fall asleep. I know I have made that trip about 15 times. BUT I have started my laundry and I have started packing so I am making some progress.I figure I can just do my hair and makeup at work tomorrow so I can get that packed up. And most of my clothes are clean so it ok. Better get back to work.

So technically I should be cleaning or packing or doing launfry or one of the other billion things I need to do before Tuesday, yet here I sit still thinking I have PLENTY of time to get ready. In all actuality I dont. I have no time. But does that bother me? No, why should I be conccerned that house is a mess and my clothes arent clean and I havent started packing? I, afterall, have all night to do it tomorrow. Y4eah, right. And I know thiws, and yet here I sit blissfully unconcerned with the fact that in about 48 hours we will (theoretically) be ready to leave for the airport. Oh, well says my lazy brain.

I have all the pictures from our Christmad party. I will be bring those home. Matthew made a DVD of this year to bring. I need to gather all my misc pictures to bring, like Graham Webb and so on. I think I am going to bring home his book. It sounds interesting. Anyway, Matthew wants me to spend some time with him so I'd better go. C'ya in a couple of days!

So today wasnt as bad as I thought it would be. I was only there for a few hours and it went by fast. There was no where to park in the garage though. That sucked. Oh well. Whatcha gonna do?

This is a bitch session and not of interest to anyone but will help me

Ok, I need to get all of this out so that I can calm down and enjoy being on vacation. I havent been able to do that lately so I am going to try now.

So I u nderstand that shit happens and this has kinda turned in to a "boy who cried wolf" situation. Ashley always has SOMETHING going wrong in her life. I am almost sure she creates most of it to get attention. But it literally one thing after another. So she got in a car accident. And I am sure she really is hurt and I am sorry that she is, but damnit I am tired of working every damn day. I am tired. I know I have only 4 days left till I am gone for two and a half weeks but I need to have time to get ready to go. Now I have to work everyday till I leave because she cant come to work. And when she does come to work she is going to be under so many restirctions that she wont be worth shit anyway. And I am leaving. Why now? WHY NOW? Why now that I am about ready to leave? Am I being selfish? Hell, yeah. I work my ass off. I deserve this vacetion. Maybe more than anyone. (Except Ralph, he NEEDS a vacation) But that is part of the problem. I work so hard, and Ralph is totally dedicated, and Malu works hard and is always there when I need her that anything less than our standards is not acceptable to me. But Honestly I dont expect you to work 13 days straight. I dont expect you to drop what you're doing and be at my beckon call. I expect you to come to work when you are scheduled, be on time and earn the money that we pay you. I expect the same respect FROM you that I show TO you. I expect you to b considerate of those you work with and for. I do not think that is too much to expect from your employee. I think that that is what a job is. Call me crazy.

On a different note: I am ready to come home. People at work and around work are getting these 24 hour bugs. Fever and such. I WILL NOT get sick. Again I ask, "Why now?" So I am trying to get plenty of sleep and am taking my vitamins. I have 4 days to suvive and I am free. 4 days. And tomorrow is a short day. I only have to work til 1. Ok, I had better get to bed if I think I am goint o get up in the morning! Boo.

So back to the brain leakage problem...

Tara was talking to me today cuz a client wanted to know if we could get some hairspray special ordered and I was looking at her, and she was talking to me but I was NOT listening. I just checked out and didnt even realize I wasnt listening until she was done. SHe was just looking at me like "So?" and I didnt even know she had asked me a question. I was just gone. I'm like "Sorry I was TOTALLY not even listening to you." Luckily the client was cool and staered laughing and made a joke about the holidays having that effect, but I couldn'e believe it. I just checked. I am trying so heard to care about what is going on, and having things ready for when I leave and stuff but I told Ralph today, straight up I dont care. I will try to, but I dont. like Ashley was in a car accident yesterday, and I could care less about who is going to cover her shifts. I mean I have it all worked out and stuff. I'm so bad.

Anyway, I have a week left. I am going to clean the downstairs to night. Jackie wont bother me. She is pissed at us cuz we took her to the vet today. She was scootin around the house, draggin her butt on the carpet so we had to make sure she was constpated or anything. So the vet stuck her finger up her butt and squeezed the anal glands. So Jackie had a rough day. Poor cat.

I just read that sentence and it sounds like the vet stuck her finger up her own butt. LOL.

See what I mean about the brain leakage. I just thought that sentence was THE FUNNIEST thing.

The countdown is truely on as we have only eight days (seven for those of you IN Iowa) til out trek cross country. And I have yet to begin thinking about getting ready. I work everyday frm here til Tuesday and have no idea when we will get this house clean and Jackie-proof. I did clean the bathroom today since I was sick of looking at it. Matt's idea of cleaning the Bathroom is taking out the trash. Which in itself is fine but you need to do all of it. Anyway, I suppose I have technically started.

We got the pictures from the Christmas party back. They are really good. ludwig (our photographer) got a really nice protrait of Matthew and I which we are goint to use as our Christmas card pic this year. Jackie's costume will have to wait til next year, we just dont have time to do it.

I got the last of my presents sent offf to mom today, so they are all on their way to IA. I jusy need to start making my lists. My brain has shut down and is leaking out my ears so I cant really remember anything. Lori calls it short-heimer's. I'm gettin really bad. And way burnt out. I'm just ready to go, get out of here. Only 8 days to go.

One thing that is bothering me is that I got my lip waxed yesterday and today it is all bumpy. I dont usually have a problem with waxing, especially my lip. Oh, well, that what I get for waxing during that time of the month. STupid decision on my part, but it needed to be done. Friday I will need to get a fresh coat of color, my nails filled and a final wax and I should be ready to go. Man, I am high maintance.

Ok so I tried to give myself tomorrow off too but that didnt work out so well. Lori wants me to come in anyway. Oh well, I tried. Maybe next weekend. At least I dont have to be in until 2. That helps. But is extra money and we need it. I cant wait till I get my raise. So most of my Christmas shopping is done. Just so everyone doesnt get their hopes up, I am sending more of a New Year's card this year. Doubt I will get them sent beofre we leave. I'll try though. Maybe we'll get the picture done this weekend. Sunday maybe. Then I can have the cards out by Friday. Mom says all the presents are arriving safely. And all have made it so far. I have one more shipment to go and then the rest will come home with me. I am extra excited about Amanda's present. And not for the reason that she thinks. Cuz I may have made some statements that , in retrospect, may have led her to believe I got her one thing when I didnt. Sorry if you got your hopes up. BUT I think you will be even MORE happy with what I DID get you. Anyway, Oh, and dad's is really good too. But I have to say that Lew's is the one i would kep for myself. And mom's, well, I love that one too.

You know I think i just love giving gifts. It just makes me happy. I would probably cry if I ever found out someone didnt like a gift I picked out. I really would, and not because thats what I do all the time, but really. I put so much thought and love into gifts I pick out that it makes me SOOOO happy when i give them to people. Its like I included a little piece of me in it cuz i am so emotionally attatched. Of course I attach myself to everything, I am a very emotional person, but asides from that. I hope you guys like it.

It was really warm yesterday. I think it was like 36. So now everything is melting. Which is ok. Its not asd pretty as it used to be. Today its already 40 and the sun isnt even out yet. For those of you who wonder sunrise is at 10:00 today. 10:01 tomorrow. and sunset is at 3:43 pm. Yes the middle of the afternoon. BUT the light at the end of the tunnel. The 21st is the end. We will not be here but the 22nd we start getting our light back. It really starts to wear on you. I am just tired all the freeakin time. I know it has to be more than just a lot of wor. I mean I am sure that has something to do with it, but ALL the time? Just give me the sun back. I actually cant remember the last time I saw the sun. I think it was a Saturday... maybe 2-3 weeks ago. Hard to say. All my days have blended together. I dont usually know what day it is. Anyway, I need to get ready for another day at work. I'm thinkin I might take BOTH my days off this weekend. I need to get some laundry done and start cleaning this house for when we leave. i realize now that I was mistaken when I said I had only one weekend left. I have two but I thnk I will need both of them. I think that I will not send anymore presents home. Hopefully everything will get there in time. They should. It has what? 2 weeks to arrive. Go USPS. K gotta go.

A testament that Starbucks rules the world

Alaska doesnt have a lot of things that the lower 48 has. Victoria's Secret. Bath and Body Works. Target. Sales Tax. But We DO have a Starbucks. Yep. They let a Starbucks in. You cant drive to the inside of our state. You cant pass a corner without seeing an expresso drive thru. You cant go around a moose. But you can get a cup of overpriced coffee. Yippee

Alright friends and relatives, it is OVER. The sale went well. We didnt make the #'s we wanted but we did beat last year's sales by about $1000. The Christmas party went off without a hitch. And I was able to get up the next morning. But the best part of all is that its OVER. Now it is smooth sailing till vacation time. One more weekend and the holiday season is over. For work me anyway. One more weekend. I need to start cleaning. I have to hide anything paper since we have opted to leave Jackie home, she will try to eat everythig she can. Yes, we have to leave the kitty here. It was going to be an extra $200 to bring her along, so I had to decide, and we just dont have the money right now. Maybe next time.

I just thought that I would let y'all know how it went. Se ya in a couple of weeks!

I have finally found a friend. And I mean a real friend. It has taken long time, but I have found someone who thinks like me, acts like me, is my age... It has been hard trying to find someone I connected with. It is really hard when you have found that person already and then had to leave them behind. But today I realized it. I was talking to Tara and she just looks at me and goes, "You know what those earrings remind me of?" I was wearng the pink and black star earrings, the ones I was wearing when I was home and Malea kept singing Twinkle Twinkle little star. I was like "No. What?" "They remind me of Jem, do you remember Jem?" I FREAKED out! "remember? I LOVE Jem. " "I had Jem hightops." I still have my dolls. I have them all on DVD!" "No Way! I loved Jem." No one knows Jem up here. No one. I have talked about it before and people look at me like what kinda crazy Iowa show you talkin abaout. but She just brought it up and one of the reasons why I bought those earrings was that they reminded me of my childhood. Jem. Who knew it would bring us that much closer. I mean we've been hanging out and stuff, and I am bonding with her son. He is my loner baby. In that Tara says whenever I feel like I want my own baby, I need to take hers for a while and then see if I feel the same, but I love him. So I thought I would share that little conversation.

Jem, bringing the world a little closer together.