No Place like Home?

It has been so strange to be here. I have missed it so much and in so many ways nothing has changed. But in so many more infinite ways everything has changed. or it might be more realitic to say I have been the one thing that has gone through an enormous change. I went out with alot of myfriends from college, you know Katie and those guys and then my Wal-Mart people, and it was just wierd to be there. You know, it was like I was standing on the outside of the circle and I thought to myself, "I dont belong here anymore." These people, who were so very important to me dont mean as much to me right at this moment as they do in the memories I carry with me everyday. I mean I still love them all and they were such a big part of my life, but I just stood back at looked at them, and they were in the same place I left them a year ago. And I feel like i have moved mountains in the time I am gone. But one thing has remained constant, and that is Katie. We havent seen each other in almost a year and yet we are together and it is as though nothing has changed. We have this special relationship that doesnt know time or distance. Its a friendship that picks up right where it left off as if you had never left. How lucky can a person be to have found a friendship like that? Twice. I married one of my best friends the day I gave Matthew the rest of my life,but Katie is truely my best friend. And I miss her everyday. I wish that I could bring her back with me. I think her and Rob could have made an awesome couple, but now Rob is gone too, so that doesnt really matter. But you get what I am saying. But I am ready to go home. I am ready to go back to my life, my job, my kitty, and I am more than ready to go back to Matthew. I miss him so much and I need to be with him. He is my heart and I cannot live without him. This has been a tough trip in many ways. I miss my husband terribly for first and foremost. But some of the things that I have learned about myself, the person I used to be and the person that I am now have been both painful and a blessing also. So I will return to my home, Alaska, and I will look back on memories because they are built up as inattainable perfection in my head and that is how they are going to stay, even if reality can't measure up. So thank you Iowa for reminding me of where my roots are and where I have come from and thank you Alaska for showing me who can be.