Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Ridiculous Circle
I think this is the case of reading too much... I am starting to feel guilty for letting Hayden sleep with me. But on the other hand, I cant feel guilty for doing what comforts my baby and gets me a decent amount of sleep. So there is quite a war going on right now. I am sure that a lot of mothers go through situations like this, but when its you, its a whole different story. And, of course, everyone has their own opinion... Some people say you are wrong, doing the wrong thing, and other people are going through the same thing and are just as confused as you are, and that doesn't help either. Hayden does ok sleeping his car seat for short amounts of time, but when he starts fussing, I cant leave him there... I think a big part of it is that Hayden doesn't really cry, so when he does, I know its because he NEEDS something. And I know he is only 5 weeks old, but I am confused about what to do. Matthew doesn't sleep at night (when he is here) so when he is with Hayden he waits ill he is in a deep sleep and then puts him in the car seat. Which worked for them, but during the week, I have him at night and by the time HE is sound asleep I am sound asleep. So that makes in difficult to make the transfer. Plus, Hayden takes after his mommy in that he has a great panache for dreaming, and vocalizing those dreams. So every time he laughs or squeals, or whimpers (which is often) I wake up, thinking HE is waking up. So I get lousy sleep. BUT when he sleeps with me, he is less vocal, so I am able to sleep better. And he doesn't wake up as often for feeding. If he is in the car seat he will go to sleep around 9 pm and then at midnight, 2 and 5. when he is with me he goes to sleep around 9 and wakes at midnight, feeds for longer, get changed, feeds on the other side, and then sleeps to 4 or 5,eats a little and sleeps again til 9ish. I cant make myself feel guilty about what seems to be working so then I feel even MORE guilty for feeling guilty. Its a ridiculous circle, but I cant stop it... I should be more concerned that I am doing my very best, and not focus on HOW I'm doing it just that I'm doing it.
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2 comments:
Why in the world are you feeling guilty for letting him sleep with you? It isn't hurting him, it isn't hurting you, it isn't hurting Matt...where's the guilt coming from?
Really you have until 4 months old before co-sleeping will turn into a habit. If you don't want him co-sleeping until he's 4 or college or whenever then stop around 4 months old. If you don't care then continue to do it. And of course be sure you are taking all precautions against SIDS. I highly recommend the book - Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. It has been a lifesaver for both kids so far. It offers options you can choose from depending on what YOU want to do. It actually recommends what you are doing until about 4 months old. The book is based on science, not opinion which is awesome.
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