I am doing the best that I can. (Does it seem that I am starting out like that a lot, I guess thats how you know that its not going very good) I have to make enough money one weweeks to pay off the Disney card card before we leave on Monday. So I am a little on edge because I have to work so damn hard in the frezzing cold, and I am tired. i am working as much as I can, but I cant go in anymore cuz I have to work my CWS, and that has to be done before January 1st. And Matthew forgot to go get my album from the store, so I talked to Danielle so she was going to do her best to get it for me today. Matthew went along, but since She wasnt there, I went in cuz I wanted to see the store. And I was shaking so bad. And I felt so sick to my stomach. And now he says that he forgot to add $100 into the budget for the other credit card and I needed to make another $100. How am I supposed to do that. We have 3 freaking Aces games this weekend. Thursday, Saturday and Sunday and, of course, they have to be afternoon games and not night games, so I am basically losing 3 days of work. So I said sell my tickets. I'l go to one of the games. ANd he makes a huff about that too. What am I supposed to do? I am working the MS office every morning so I get up at 6:40 shower, get ready so I can be there by 8:30, I come home around noon, change grb something to eat and go work the commissary til around 8:30. Come home try to eat, and go to bed exhausted. I am tired. I am so tired. And I do all of this when it is a struggle to find the energy to lift my arms. And I tell him that I am tired and he doesnt understand. I'm not sleepy. I have enough energy to breathe and blink, the rest is a constant struggle to be able to do anything. And somewhere along the line I have to do laundry and pack for a 3 weeks trip. I dont know how much more I can do. I just wish he could understand. I am doing my best. but it never seems to be enough for him, there is always something more that I have to do. I just have to not go to the gams. That is all there is to it. I was tempted to just use the money that Laurie gave me as a gift, but I knew that I, one, would get into trouble for that, and two, I didnt want to do that, it was for me, so that i could get something for myself. Instead of a big pile of failure. Cuz thats all I seem to be able to see lately. He just needs to calm down, cuz in about a month I will have two paying jobs instead of one. He is just so insensitive sometimes. I am actually looking forward to being home cuz I know that he will stay at his parents' house and I will stay at mine and I can have a little vacation away from him too. I need it. He is wearing on my last nerve.