I wish I could say that I would give anything to go home and be with my family, but appartently I wouldnt give $1200. I wish I could be there. I feel soooo guilty. Like I have abandoned my dad in his time of loss. Mom says no one expects me to come home, but I guess I always expected me to go home. I mean I was there for mom when grandpa died. I even helped pick out his casket. And now I cant be with dad. And I feel horrible. And the worst part is this: I am not as sad about grandma dying, only for the reason that she had a VERY long and full life, and it was her time and she isnt suffering anymore, as I am sad that I cant be with dad. I feel like I should be. Matthew is there. He is going to go to the funeral. I asked him to please be with my dad since I cant be. Maybe that will be enough. I have tried to call home but no one answered. I am not even quite sure what to say. "I'm sorry for your loss"? That seems dumb since he's my dad and its my loss too. Just say I love you and that I am thinking about you. And I wish that I could be there, but I cant.