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Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Taking control

This week I have taken a huge step forward and I have taken a bit more control in my life. I did something that I was scared to do, but I was tired of hiding from what I perceived the problem to be. It is not something that I want to get into except to say it has been something that I have been worrying about for quite a few weeks now. It is something that I think was really throwing off my focus. The stress caused was fueling my sweet tooth. I had fallen off the Bugg wagon so to say in that I wasn't keeping track of my food. I haven't been drinking my water, and my results were starting to show it. At this point I would have given up. I would have given in the the problem. I would have tried to eat it away. Shoved all the stress and hurt down with food and then hope that the problem would just disappear. Instead, on Monday, I faced it head on and confronted it. I put the wheels in motion for resolution instead of hiding behind an ice cream sandwich or something. I realized that no matter how much I eat, eventually the food will be gone, but the problem will still be there. No matter how much I eat, the food would disappear, but the stress and the hurt wouldn't. How is that for growth? I am pretty darn proud of myself. I have hopped back on the wagon. I am drinking my water and logging my food. Now if the stupid rain would stop so I could go walk, I would be able to look for this to be a pretty good week. Why cant it rain during the day while I am at work and then clear up at night? Why does it have to be the other way around? It is really starting to piss me off! Vickie said i could come with her to her gym and use the treadmills there. I may take her up on it. I just wish I could afford my own treadmill. Matthew says Sears had some nice ones for under $1000. So maybe I will start there. Why do they have to be so expensive?

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