I have fallen off the food log wagon, and it is showing. I lost only a pound last week and I know it is because I am not drinking enough water and because I am not tracking what I eat. I haven't been walking as much so I am not hitting my burn. I am messing up. I know that the important part is not that I have slacked off, its that I get back on track. I haven't jumped back on yet. I don't know what is stopping me. I guess I have been going through a lot of emotional stuff with Matthew and it is hard to deal with both. I know that's a cop out. And its a weak, stupid reason for slacking, but its the one I seem to be using. I don't want to make excuses anymore. I want to admit that yeah I'm going through some shit, but that doesn't mean that I cant deal with my problems and take care of myself! I should be strong enough to be able to do that! I AM strong enough to do that. I owe it to myself to take care of me. I owe it to myself. I should respect myself at least that much. So then why is it so hard? Why do I always try to give up? I don't want to. I don't want to give up. I am so afraid to fail. And there's the truth rearing its ugly head. I am afraid to fail, so if I quit before I can fail, then I have the power. But quitting is the only true way to fail in this journey. As long as I keep going forward, yes there will be setbacks, like this week, but as long as I push on how can I see that as a failure?