Winding Down Week 4

I found it much easier to hit my calorie burn this week because it was so nice out. I took Hayden to the park, we took walks downtown... It is so much more enjoyable to burn calories actually DOING something then it is sitting on a stationary bike for an hour. I am finding it a challenge to eat as many calories as I should. I try to account for this by keeping .y deficit as close to my target as I can, but I am afraid of eating too much. So I ere on the side of caution, but I think I am too far over on that side! So I will see what my results are tomorrow and adjust from there. I have set myself some pretty high goals on my BodyBugg system. So I may need to be a bit more realistic.

I have been constructing a Goal List which I will post at a later date. I continue to edit the list because I have decided that no matter how small the goal seems it deserves a place on my list. The items range from being able to climb to the top slide on the playground with Hayden to having more shoe options to adding years to my life. I think it is important to remember why I want to do this, especially when it starts to get tough and I want to quit. I mean, staying fat is easy, but it wont get me any of those things on the list. If it did, then there would be no need to make the list. I want to be able to play with Hayden and keep up. I want to be able to ride the Kiddie Rides with him next year in Disney World. I want to buy cute strappy sandals. I want to have another baby... There are so many things that I want. The more I think about it, the more I realize how much I make myself do without just because its easier. And the more I realize that the more angry I get with myself for settling in an unhealthy, sub par body. There are so many things to do with this life and this is what I have chosen to do with mine? I make me a little sad. No, a lot sad.