Matthew had to work today so I am left by myself. I have no car. and nothing to do but sit and think. Thinking is dangerous. Thinking leads to feeling and I cant deal with my feelings right now. I am quick to cry. Though I am careful not to let Matthew see my tears. He is so happy to have me here. And I am so happy to finally be with him, I dont want him to think that I am unhappy. I'm not. I just miss my friends. It is so hard to say good-bye to Matt when he leaves but I never imagined how hard it would be to be on the other side of that and say good-bye to everyone I know. It is pretty here. I can see the mountains. I will post a pic as soon as I figure out how this works. I'm gonna try to unpack today. It isnt going to be easy. All of those things that I brought from home. I know that in time this will become my home. I never thought that my apartment in Iowa City would be home but after time began referring to it as home. And mom and dad's house became "my parent's house" and not "home". That will happen in time. But it is so hard. I am so scared. We are out on our own. We have to be adults now. I'm nopt so sure I can be an adult. But I am going to enjoy being married and I have to start thinking of this as my life. Not my punishment. It is an adventure. The one thing that got me through all those months and years without Matt, what I would tell myself everytime he walked away from me to get back on a plane was this:
I can do anything through Him who gives me strength.
I have been through a lot. And I can do anything.
1 comment:
I haven't used the blogger picture system, but Chelsea assures me it's easy. I'm using www.photobucket.com, which is also really easy.
You're in a place for a couple years, it does become home. I don't think I started referring to M&D's as "my parents' house" until I moved into my current place, and why I'm so glad I'm staying. I moved so much when I was in college, no one place became 'home'. This place has.
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