34 weeks (sort of)

Ok, I know I am a day shy of 34 weeks, but at this time I don't care. Here I am in all my pregnant glory. The heartburn has returned, even though I am still taking the Zantac twice a day, I am sure its because he is squishing my stomach, cuz I cant eat much either. I had mentioned to Tara at work that I wished that I had brought some Tums with me to work for some temporary relief till I could take my Zantac again, and this lady come over and chastises me for taking Tums. "You KNOW you shouldn't take Tums. They cause constipation. ESPECIALLY when you pregnant." Look lady, I am 7.5 months pregnant, I haven't slept in weeks, I am puking up stomach acid, if you want to talk to ME about how I SHOULDN'T take the one thing that gives me some relief then you'll be talking out your butt since that's where I will shove your head. But I just smiled politely and said "Oh really, well, I have never had a problem with them and they help me." Bitch. Its none of your business anyway. Man, I need to get some quality sleep before I DO go off on some nitwit at work. I almost did last night too. It was 5 minutes past 6 (when we close) and I was locking the door, and this lady walks up and knocks on the door asking if we were closed. Duh,m lady the lights are off and I locked the door. Before i could get the door completely latched she yanks it open and says, "I just need to get a perm." "Were closed, ma'am." "Oh really? The door was still open." "yes, because you yanked it out of my hands. Hurry up." I was so not nice. What cajones she has. We were obviously closed!!!! Oh, I was pissed. I hated people before I was pregnant, I tell you what, I despise them with the hatred of four lifetimes when I AM pregnant.

Oh, how I miss sleep. tossing and turning, getting up to pee. the last couple nights I slept for four to five hours at a time, but last night i was right back to up every two hours. That is apparently how long it takes my body to process the couple drinks of water I had the last time i was up. So stop with the water, I think. Yeah, that worked out well. My mouth was so dry my tongue was stuck to the roof of my mouth. It was so gross and kinda hurt to "un"stick it. Maybe I am more tired today cuz its my Monday and I know that I have a whole week ahead of me. A week of people calling in to work, of not knowing what time I will get off that night, cuz I don't know who is (or isn't) showing up that day. So I go in at my scheduled time 9;45am... and more often than not, end up staying till close. I just don't understand why people cant just come to their job! Maybe it was the way I was raised, seeing dad go to work everyday... I just don't understand, for people who complain that they don't have any money, and then call in all the time... why do you think you don't have any money?!!! And I hate that I cant make plans because I don't know when or if I have to put in extra hours. On top of that, I don't think I( can for much longer. My feet hurt. My knees are starting to hurt. My back KILLS me by the end of the day... I cant keep filling in for everyone else. BUT I only have about a month of work left. I want to stop working around the 19th of April. That's two weeks before my due date. I figure I will be horribly uncomfortable and tired by then. But if I have to, I guess I can keep going, if we cant afford it. Actually, right now I don't feel like we could afford me taking ANY time off. And it makes me feel kinda guilty that I wont be working... And it doesn't really help when Matthew comes out at random times and says "I don't know what we're going to do when you stop working. I guess I need to get another job." I know he doesn't know I feel guilty about not working, but it is just a jab at that, you know? Cuz there isn't really anything that I can DO about it. I cant exactly work through the pain. But I guess I could hold on for a bit longer before I stop, and I would have ABSOLUTELY NO problem with that, if I knew I would be in the salon for that time and not 8 1/2 months pregnant forced to stand behind a register all day... Dilemma.

33 weeks (YIKES!)

Your pregnancy: 33 weeks

How your baby's growing:This week your baby weighs a little over 4 pounds (heft a pineapple) and has passed the 17-inch mark. He's rapidly losing that wrinkled, alien look and his skeleton is hardening. The bones in his skull aren't fused together, which allows them to move and slightly overlap, thus making it easier for him to fit through the birth canal. (The pressure on the head during birth is so intense that many babies are born with a conehead-like appearance.) These bones don't entirely fuse until early adulthood, so they can grow as his brain and other tissue expands during infancy and childhood.

As your baby fills out even more of your belly, lots of things might start to change: Whereas before you were sashaying, you may find yourself waddling. Finding an easy position to sit in — let alone sleep — is becoming more of a challenge. And bumping into chairs and counters is par for the course.

Raspberries

So we had a fun moment last night. Matthew was blowing raspberries on my tummy and Hayden kicked him right in the mouth!!!!! LOL. It was so funny, Matthew jerks back and I'm just like "Did you feel that?!" And his jaw is still open, laughing,"Yeah!" We got a good kick out of that.

So updates, I haven't really been updating cuz Matthew has been tying up both computers lately with this Terminator show, he is completely obsessed. He says he isn't, but he is. So anyway, I cant wait till I don't have to work anymore. If it hadn't been for this stupid car thing, I would prolly have cut my weeks down a day, but we cant do that now. SO instead I am simply looking forward to not having to go anymore. We had a girl call in again on Saturday. I was so pissed. Why is it always Saturday? I know that answer to that, but it makes me so upset, cu that leaves us down a person on a VERY busy day. But I am expecting April 19th to be my last day. Mostly because I think by then, i wont even want to get out of bed. That is getting more and more difficult already! I am getting some swelling. Mostly when I spend all day on my feet, or I am really hot, my hands will swell. And sometimes when I wake up in the morning my feet are swollen. But not too bad. I have had a few leg cramps mostly at night...

I am starting to get nervous. Not so much about the birth part again, but about when he is actually here,and I am actually going to be responsible for another person, my little baby person... And then I start worrying about stupid stuff. Really stupid. Like how I am going to keep the kitties from running into the baby's room at night... Anyway...

Nothing real big going on here. It is officially Break Up season (that's spring to most of you). But it is so nice to be able to FEEL the sun again. Gotta get out there and up my Vitamin D levels before Hayden decides to arrive! Well, that is pretty much it for now. I have some stuff to do today, so I'll try to do a better job of posting my updates.

32 Weeks

Your pregnancy: 32 weeks

How your baby's growing:By now, your baby weighs 3.75 pounds (pick up a large jicama) and is about 16.7 inches long, taking up a lot of space in your uterus. You're gaining about a pound a week and roughly half of that goes right to your baby. In fact, she'll gain a third to half of her birth weight during the next 7 weeks as she fattens up for survival outside the womb. She now has toenails, fingernails, and real hair (or at least respectable peach fuzz). Her skin is becoming soft and smooth as she plumps up in preparation for birth.

Just when you thought you were gaining ground...

We will starting to feel sogood about of situation. We were getting things figured out and budgeted and we were starting make head way. And then my car craps out. Saturn called and basically says that one of my computers is completely fried. $506 to fix. Ok, thats do-able, I guess, I dont like it, but what are you going to do? I need my car. And I need it to be safe. But on top of that GEICO called and said that since it was mechanical , they arent going to pay for the tow. And no one told us there would even be a possibility that we would have to pay for it. They are still going to pay for the rental car. I just feel like we have started to get our feet back under us, and here comes another wave to knock us over. I suppose this is life. I am just so sick of life crapping on us...

So my car crapped out on me today. I pulled out of the driveway and had no steering, among other things. So we had to have it towed to the dealership. Thank goodness for car insurance. And we got a rental car. So I am pimpin out the PT Cruiser. That's right, got a Cruiser for a week. Its fun, but I miss my car.... I just hope it isnt going to be too expensive, we just cant afford it... But I have to have my car, so its a necessary evil, right?

31 Weeks

Your pregnancy: 31 weeks

How your baby's growing:This week, your baby measures over 16 inches long. He weighs about 3.3 pounds (try carrying four navel oranges) and is heading into a growth spurt. He can turn his head from side to side, and his arms, legs, and body are beginning to plump out as needed fat accumulates underneath his skin. He's probably moving a lot, too, so you may have trouble sleeping because your baby's kicks and somersaults keep you up. Take comfort: All this moving is a sign that your baby is active and healthy.

Holy Cow!!!

I seem to be having a freak out moment. Apparently being 31 weeks, is my freak out time. Knowing that there are 9 weeks left (9! A single digit!) is WAAAAAYYYYY Different from having 10, 11 or 12 weeks left (All two digit numbers) 9 weeks, that's it. I remember when I was excited cuz I was 9 weeks pregnant, which was really close to being in the double digits. Now turn it around and I am getting a bit anxious. But I still cant believe how fast it went! I know that in reality, I'll probably be pregnant for 10 more weeks at least, but the Base hospital is pretty good about not wanting you to go too far over, if you don't need to, and I am not opposed to being induced as long as he is fully developed. Go for it.

I am getting bigger. Yep. I know, I'll only get bigger, but I remember conversations with Katrina, who worked at the store when I first started. She was 7 1/2 months preggo and I was two-ish. And she would tell me things like "buy your maternity cloths big, and if they are way too big, don't worry, you'll use them at the end." And she was right. And she told me to wait till I was in my third trimester and the effort to turn yourself over in bed would be a full body effort. And that it is. Sometimes I feel like a turtle trying to get off its shell. And now, our new stylist is about three months along and I have found myself telling her alot of the same things, without realizing I was doing it. LOL.

I finally called the hospital today, since no one called me about my results. And they told me that the sample was contaminated. Yet no one cared to call me to tell me that I needed to come in to give another sample. So I went in after work and she told me that they would call me in an hour with the results. So frustating. Guess they arent doing a culture this time? Who knows?

Running of the Reindeer

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6MBj_L67__Y

this video is the men's heat. 500 men and ten reindeer. Enjoy. I wish I could have been there, but it was right before the hockey game.

OK, continuation. The doctors' office called and said that there were skin cells and blood in my sample. Yes, I know, a retarded monkey could have told me that!!!! So they are doing a culture and will get back to me on Monday. BUT, after the blood amounts getting worse yesterday, i didn't see any all three times I went last night, so hopefully the bleeding is stopped. Now I just need to know why it started.

Ok, Back to Matthew not coming with me. While I didn't exactly tell him to stay, I didn't tell him to come with me either. The hockey thing didn't bother me so much. I know how he feels about his Aces and it was a good game. We won in an overtime shootout (which added insult to injury because I had to miss one of the few good games in a mediocre season) If I had made him come with me, I would have NEVER heard the end of it. I know this probably doesn't make sense to most of you, but that's ok, its our system and it works for us. What I was upset about was that after he got home, he didn't even come upstairs to check on me. He called me after he got out of the Sully (I asked him to call when it was quieter). But when he got home, he didn't come upstairs. He said it was because he didn't want to wake me up (because I yelled at him the last time he woke me up) But I wasn't asleep, ans he didn't even check to see if I WAS asleep. And I yelled at him last time cuz he woke me up for... reasons. This time was WAY different. So that was why I was upset. And when he finally didn't come to bed there was no comforting, no cuddling, he just turned on Friends.... But we have discussed it, I have told him that I was upset, and its ok to wake me up to make sure I am ok. As for the hockey game, last night was near identical, we won in a shootout, so I got to see some good hockey after all. So it all worked out ok. Now I just need to find out what is wrong with me. Well, whats wrong with my bladder, we don't have enough time for the other!!!

Off to the hospital...Again

So after work last night, it was off to the Aces' game. I got there, and finally parked and inside with 3 minuts left in the first period. Ok, fine, I can deal with it. And we're playing Las Vegas, which is HUGE rivalry. Huge. Its like Iowa playing Iowa State, its more than a game, there's pride on the line, anyway, I go down to pee during the intermission and I freak out. There is blood in my urine. I thought that it had happened early that morning (like 3 am early), but I was practically asleep so it didnt really register. So anyway, I go up to Matt and tell him I have to go. I have to go to the hosptial NOW. "Do you want me to come with you?" "No you can stay" (more on THAT stupid little gem of an answer later) So I call Labor and Delivery and tell them I was on my way back in. Twice in a week, boy, I am on a ROLL! SO get there and pee in the ol' cup. But they dont seemed too terribly concerned (about Hayden, I mean) so they hook me up to the moitors again, and there he is, my happy little boy, bouncing in his happy little bubble, so I could relax about that. Basically, they dont know why I am bleeding into my bladder, or whatever. It could be a UTI, Kidney issue, Stones... The only thing is that blood is my only symptom. So I am waiting on my test results. Hopefully they call today. I hope its just an infection. The doctor says, that though its rare, I could have a stone and no pain and its rolling around in there, irrating my bladder. Or that I had the stone, the pain wasnt as bad as last time, and I worked through it. They just dont know. All they know for sure is that it isnt trauma (my fall) related or pregnany related, only that it is pregnancy caused. So we will wait for the results... I will keep you updated. But I have to get going to work, so I will address the not leaving the hockey game after I get home. Hopefully I will have some news by then. No worries, Hayden is fine, thats all that really matters to me, besides, I'll be fine.

30 Weeks

Your pregnancy: 30 weeks

How your baby's growing:Your baby's about 15.7 inches long now, and she weighs almost 3 pounds (like a head of cabbage). A pint and a half of amniotic fluid surrounds her, but that volume will decrease as she gets bigger and takes up more room in your uterus. Her eyesight continues to develop, though it's not very keen; even after she's born, she'll keep her eyes closed for a good part of the day. When she does open them, she'll respond to changes in light but will have 20/400 vision — which means she can only make out objects a few inches from her face. (Normal adult vision is 20/20.)

A little Sore

I have a nice bruise from yesterday. And I am a bit sore all over. But Mr. Man has decided since I shook him up a bit, he is goiong to punish me for that all night. I hope he is enjoying my bladder as his play thing. This having to pee thing is getting ridiculous! And all I have to look forward to do is the peeing getting worse! LOL HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Pregnancy is a magical time, I tell you. So this morning I woke up at 5:30 and didnt go, for whatever reason I decided I could wait 2 more hours when my alarm would go off. Anyway, an hour later I couldnt wait anymore, but Matthew was in the bathroom, and by this time, Haden is using my inflated bladder as a trampoline. So anyway, what I actually wanted to say was that I finally woke up and went pee again, put in my contacts and turned the shower on and I had to pee again. and then I took my shower and I had to pee again when I got out. This is ridiculous. Ok, enough about my pee problems, I really just wanted to let you know I am feel pretty ok. And Hayden is doing just fine. Like they kept saying, he's a happy baby. I am just starting to dread how active he actually is and whether this will tranfer over to the outside world. I guess we'll find out in a couple of months, right? I need to stop counting down cuz this whole thing has gone by so fast, but we get to Febuary and its like time has stopped. Its taking FOREVER for time to go by. Which would have been fine a few weeks ago, when I was comfortable and I could still get my socks on without passing out, but now.... Anyway, have a good day. I have to get going for work.

We are all ok

So yesterday was a pretty nasty day. It was 41 degrees and raining, on top of the snow. Now please note that snow removal is pretty minimal here. There are no clear roads, no salt, no sand except at the intersections. So when it rains on the packed down snow in the parking lots... Anyway, I decided to go over to Qdoba to get some guacamole and chips or lunch yesterday, and I slipped and fell (hard) on the ice rink of a parking lot. I was so freaked out. I told Mary that I fell and I a having Matthew com eto get me, and I was going to the hospital. She said ok, and I was off. My abdominl area was cramping, and my hip hurt like a m-fer. So Matthew came to get me, cuz I wasnt going to try to drive, just in case. And I got to spend 4 hours in Labor and Delivery hooked up to a bunch of montors. But everything turned out ok. The nurses kept telling me what a happy baby I had. Oh, he's so happy... And it was kinda fun to watch his little heart rate, and to be able to listen to it for 4 hours. And whenever he would move it would make this loud sound through the doppler so that was fun cuz Matthew got to hear how often he actually moves, not just the ones he could feel. Basically they were watching to see if I started to have contractions. The nurse came in and ask if I had had any, and I was like no, I dont think so. "so you didnt feel anything?" "no, some cramping, but not as bad as my period cramps" "Oh,well, you had a contraction right here...." (points to a big fluctuation on the graph) Oh, really? I guess I missed that one. But it was just the one, so they werent really so concerned, but I have to watch to see if my water breaks in the next couple days, or if there is any bleeding cuz that could mean there was some trauma to the placenta, and of course, if I have anymore contractions. The whole thing was pretty scary. I just kept thinking, what if something happened to him? Just because I wanted some stupid guacamole?

BUT on the bright side, my blood pressure was great, surprising, since I though it would be high since I was so freaked out, but it was a constistant 117/69. Which, I think, goes to show, that it really is because I hate doctors appointments. Cuz its always the first reading when its high, take it again later, when I am sure that you arent going to give me any bad news (I've had a lot of bad news given to me in dr's appointments!) Then it goes back to being fine. I just hate the doctor's office. I guess I feel about that, the way most people feel about the dentist.

29 Weeks

Your pregnancy: 29 weeks

How your baby's growing:Your baby now weighs about 2 1/2 pounds (like a butternut squash) and is a tad over 15 inches long from head to heel. His muscles and lungs are continuing to mature, and his head is growing bigger to make room for his developing brain. To meet his increasing nutritional demands, you'll need plenty of protein, vitamins C, folic acid, and iron. And because his bones are soaking up lots of calcium, be sure to drink your milk (or find another good source of calcium, such as cheese, yogurt, or enriched orange juice). This trimester, about 250 milligrams of calcium are deposited in your baby's hardening skeleton each day.

And for Fun:
MotherHow are you sleeping at night? You probably sleep less soundly than you did before you were pregnant. This is normal but that is of not much use to you. Due to the tingling in your legs, your tiny bladder, your calf cramps, your stomach that flutters and your belly that gets in the way, not to mention your spouse thumping on you so you'll stop snoring, it is difficult to stay asleep throughout the entire night. You can usually get to sleep if you have found a comfortable position with all the pillows arranged around you, but sleeping through the night... forget it! Lying on your back doesn't work at all and turning is no pleasure either. Moreover, you sleep so lightly that anything will wake you up. Once you are awake it will take hours for you to doze off again - at least that's how it feels to you.

A kick in your bladder and you have to go to the bathroom again; it feels like your bladder is filling up all the time. And then it's hard to relax and go back to sleep. Do you frequently have weird, scary dreams also? More than usual? It's all part of the process. Unconsciously, you worry about how it will all go. Can you bring up a child and look after him, how will the expectant dad do and how will the other children - if there are any - react? Will trying to combine work and taking care of the baby be too much for you? You are confronted with worries and small problems, things that don't bother you at all during the day seem like huge obstacles at night.Try not to worry while you are lying awake and stew about the fact that you can't sleep. The human body needs only 3 to 4 hours deep sleep to sufficiently repair its cells. If you have slept during that time, it's just a matter of the so-called phase 1 and phase 2 sleep wherein dreams play the most important part. It's no wonder that you remember all your dreams because you are sleeping lighter than you did before your pregnancy.Sometimes it seems as if your sleep pattern is already changing so that once the baby is there you will be able to wake up when he needs you. Mother Nature has arranged that nicely.

Appointment

Everything is a-ok. Levels are all within normal range. I lost more weight. Mom asked me what I had gained by now, and I was just like, I dont know I'd have to do the math, but I figured I've gained about 5 lbs. So I got back to work and actually did the math, and I haven't actually GAINED anything, I am actually still down 5 lbs. No wonder I am feeling good. I wish I had more energy to exercise a little more. I do it when I can, but I just dont really have the energy to do it, but I know its getting even more important now, not only will it help keep my glucose levels in check, but now I have to worry about Pre-eclampsia (Pregnancy Induced Hypertension) and since my blood pressure tends to be a bit high, higher than I would like, and I know exercise would help with that. I am going to make more of a conscience effort to spend sometime at least down on the eliptical, even just a half an hour. I can do a half an hour. I wish we had cable downstairs so I could watch one of my shows while I was down there... I know we have a DVD player, but if I do it a night, I wish I could watch TV... Anyway, that is my new goal, I think it is a doable one, right? Right.

So for the last few months, we have had no neighbors,and it has been glorious. Glorious. No pounding, no dogs barking, no loud talking, no smoking! Now not only are we getting new people on the left side (Army no less, blah) BUT we are also getting people on the right side! It totally sucks! I just hop ethey dont have dogs. I dont think the left side people do, cuz they have been inthe house for a couple days, and no dogs, so there is hope. But they are Army, and Army ends to be loud and have lots of parties and have dogs. Well, I will tell you this much, I am NOT putting up with it. I didnt really care before cuz me and Matthew can deal with noise, we put up with it, but the first time they wake that baby up... OOOOO, heaven help them! They will have the fury of a sleep-deprived, new mom coming down on them like the right hand of the Lord Almighty, I guarantee that! I am NOT up with it this time.

It's warming up!!!!

OMG it was a gloroius 13 degrees today. 13! No - sign, just 13! But as with every double edge sword, it comoes at a price. SNow. Forcasted for the next ten days straight. Just snowfall. We are supposed to get 6 inches by tomorrow. But its warm. By Monday, now brace yourselves, by Monday it is supposed to be in the low 30's. 30!!!!!!!! That is a 50 degree difference from all of last week. Can you believe that? 50 degree diffetence, and it only 30 degrees, lol. OMG, get me out of here! Cuz guess what, you'r almost done, a month or two, and witner is over, a month or two here, and we still have a month or two left. This is utterly ridiculous!

BUT Fur Rondy is going to be starting pretty soon, so that is something new, and hopefully it will be a decent temerature to be able to go out and enjoy some of it. I want to go and see the snow sculptures again this year. And maybe the Running of the Reindeer. (more on that later, or you can go to furronday.net to read about it yourself). I think maybe the start of the Ididarod again, just since its my last one. I am trying to get those "last" things done, and not procrastinate on them since I will never be able to go back and do those things again. I have also decided that I want to do the Salmon Parade this year when everyone is up here. I think I may have mentioned it before, but its like the Cows on Parade and the Herky on Parade thing only with salmon. I didnt know about it, or I wouold have done it a long time ago. But as long as its nice out I thought it would be fun to do with everyone and be able to bring Hayden along pretty easily. I will have to find out if they have a salmon map, I am sure that they do!

I am getting so excited. Excited for Hayden to get here, excited for mom and dad and Amanda to get here. Lew ust told me he may becoming up in January to help me move home, so I am super psyched for that since I didnt think that he was going to come at all. I have decided that I am going to have to make dad sleep in my bed while he is here, cuz he cant sleep on an air matress, and I think our couch would be just too painful for his hip. So its the only solustion, and since matthew isnt going to be here... I dont see the big deal of having mom and dad in our bed and me and Amanda on mattresses. I can even put one in the baby's room or there is plenty of room in our room, I'd just have to deal with dad snoring. But I have to be upstairs or feedings, it'll be easier on all of us. And we can put the other on in the dining room, and keep the kitties downstairs so they dont lick Amanda's face all night long. I am still working out the logistics of it, But it should not be that big of a deal, expecting getting dad to sleep in our bed!!!! I cant believe all of this is going to be happening in a couple of months! It just seems like yesterday when I was only a few weeks long, 2008 was way off in the distance, Hayden was just Cricket, the size of a lima bean....

***Edit*** Ok so after I wrote all of that, I went to the Shoppette to get milk and toilet paper, and as I was leaving I slippd on the ramp outside the door and didnt quite fall, but was pretty close. Anyway, there were three people in the area and NO ONE offered to help me with my bags (remember milk and toilet paper, not small things), no one helped me get up... Ok a person falls on the ice in front or around you, and you dont have the decency to even ask if they are ok. Now that person is OBVIOUSL pregnant with arms full of bags, and you do NOTHING?!?!? Appalling. Dont worry I am ok, and I will mention it at my doctor's appointment tomorrow. My ankle hurts a bit though. We'll see how it is tomorrow. All I need is MORE swelling...

28 Weeks

Your pregnancy: 28 weeks

How your baby's growing:By this week, your baby weighs two and a quarter pounds (like a Chinese cabbage) and measures 14.8 inches from the top of her head to her heels. She can blink her eyes, which now sport lashes. With her eyesight developing, she may be able to see the light that filters in through your womb. She's also developing billions of neurons in her brain and adding more body fat in preparation for life in the outside world.

You've been asking

So here it is, me at 28 weeks. 12 weeks left to go. Seems to be flying by!

When -20 doesnt sound that bad...

I am frustrated because no one I work with knows what a Primary is. Really?! For the first time EVER Alaska had its primary on Super Tuesday, early enough where the results there actually matter, especially in the Democratic Camps. And I went to bed before the official result came in, so I dont know who the leaders were. Republican sites didnt close until 8:30 pm, and I go to bed at 9. And now I cant find it, and no one was even paying attention. I cant believe that ADN didnt have an article today, except about the HUGE turn out all over the state.

On a side note, I know I have said this before, but I am so SICK of this blasted cold!!! Its gonna be around till Sunday, there are supposed to be some clouds rolling in. BUT it is only Wednesday! BUT we could be in Tok where it is -70, yes that is a SEVEN with a ZERO!!! Or even Fairbanks where its -45. Suddenly, -20 doesnt sound so bad. Except for those poor high schoolers in Eagle River who had the fire alarm go off and they had to stand outside for 15 minutes, some of them straight out of gym class!!!!! And on top of that, the weather people say this is typical Pre-La Nina weather (which will be rolling around next year) and so its going to be worse next winter. Thank Goodness we will be leaving before January really hits!

BAGGAGE

In an effort to decide whether or not to ticket Hayden when we fly home I have been looking into what additional/overweight charges would be. Here is a break down, and then try to guess what I decide to do. Keep in mind that if I DONT ticket Hayden he sits on my lap and we are limited to one ticket baggage restrictions. If i get a seat for him, he gets his own bags. Also pay attention to United for future information.

Delta:
Free= two bags weighing no more than 50 lbs
Additional bag= $75
Overweight= 51-70lbs- $50
71-100 lbs - $100

NWA:
Free= 2 bags weighing no more than 50 lbs
Additional Bags= $80 for one
Overweight= 51-70 lbs- $150

Alaska Airlines:
Free 2 bags weighing no more than 50 lbs
Additional bag= $50 each up to six
Overweight= 51-70 lbs- $25
71-100 lbs- $50

UNITED:
BEFORE MAY 5, 2008:
Free= 2 bags weighing no more than 50 lbs
overweight= $50
AFTER MAY 5, 2008
Free= ONE BAG weighing no more than 50 lbs
allowed ONE additonal bag for a fee of $25 per ONE WAY TRIP!!! so $50 for a round trip for a second suitcase!
Additional= 1st and 2nd piece- $85
Overweight=$100

So I believe that we will be ticketing Hayden, as long as TMO will pay for it, of course! And then I wont have as much of a heart attack about what it is going to cost to fly the cats home!!!!

Today i did my, what I hope to be the last at least for this kid, glucose test. They didnt do too bad for four draws they only had to stab me seven times, so yay. All of it was in one arm so its pretty sore right now, but its over. I will find out the results on Tuesday (the 12th) at my next appointment.

We had a nicw Superbowl SUnday. We went over to the Thomas' house across the street and had a bunch of food and watched the game, some of the comercials were really funny (I liked the Fed-Ex giant pideon one the best), and they had a baby girl three weeks ago, so she was adorable and gave me something to do besides be bored with the game. I guess that I wasnt really bored, I can appreciate good defensive game and blah, blah, blah, but the end definately made up for the first three periods. And the Giants had some great sacks on Tom Brady, who kinda bugs me.

I am about sick of this cold crap.the low negatives arent feeling as bad cuz I think the sun is getting warmer, so -5 to about-10 isnt really THAT bad, but nothing can make -20 feel anything but miserably cold! So that's what it was this morning on my way to the hospital. -20. Mom said they cancelled school in Wilton today because of the snow and ice and stuff and I had wonder whether if it was -20 would they still have school? Probably not. LOL.

Matthew's new skates

27 Weeks

Your pregnancy: 27 weeks

How your baby's growing:This week your baby weighs almost 2 pounds (like a head of cauliflower) and is about 14.4 inches long with his legs extended. He can now open and close his eyes, and he sleeps and wakes at regular intervals. He may suck his fingers, and although his lungs are still immature, they would be capable of functioning — with assistance — if he were to be born prematurely. Chalk up any rhythmic movement you may be feeling to a case of baby hiccups, which may be common from now on. Each episode usually lasts only a few moments, and isn't bothersome to him, so enjoy the tickle. With more brain tissue developing, your baby's brain is very active now. Wonder what he's thinking?

Ralph

So how is this one for you? Ralph was in the store today. He asked about me, if I was still here, how I was doing and so on. I was in the back on my lunch. I was talking to mom on the phone, otherwise I would have been out there early and would have seen him. I am not sure how I feel about that. He told Kera that he wasnt at LA anymore and had actually move to Washington, and the only reason he was in town was to get his son and then he was going back to WA. I am glad to hear that he got out of there. I miss him. I really do, he was my friend. And I have to believe that he didnt know anything about what happened until it was happening. I have to. And I also know that most of the things he has done was because she had him by the cajones. And knowing that he is away from her is a relief to me. She never deserved him, he actually loved her, she never gave that back to him. I dont think she could. So I wouldnt have been adverse to seeing him, knowing all of that, but I didnt. And somehow, knowing that I may never see him again... There are things that I need to say and knowing that I will never be able to say them... It leaves so much open to the environment, you know? At the same time, I dont need to open that wound back up by seeing him. I am happy. I am happy with my job, Matthew and I are doing better than ever and we're about to have a baby. I dont want to taint that with old feelings and unhealed wounds. I still know his phone number by heart... I wonder if it still works? And what would I accomplish by doing that? Nothing.

Aren't you so glad that I work in a salon again so I have all this drama. 'Cept this time I am not involved in it! LOL. The girl with the psycho ex is leaving state by the end of the month, and another girl has to go to part time cuz of child care, and another one is COMPLETELY useless. So its going to be a TOUGH two months, and then I leave... And I am thinking that when I come back I am going to do 4 days a week instead of five. With everything that is going to be happening this year, I think the extra day off will help me be able to get things done, cuz just having Monday to be able to get things done isn't going to work. I cant do EVERYTHING on Monday and I still want my Sundays with Matthew, so I think having another weekday will help me. And that is one less day I have to put Hayden in daycare, which is breaking my heart already! I am having MAJOR issues with the daycare thing already. But there isn't much I can do about it. We both have to work, that is just the reality of our lives. there just isn't a choice to be made, because we cant afford to live on one income. I wish there was something I could do, but it just isnt plausible. So I want to have an extra day with my son, I dont want daycare to raise my boy, and I hate that idea. I hate it.

Alright I have FINALLY seen the new Harry Potter movie. Its been so long in waiting! I got it on PPV. So that is what I have spent my day off doing. Laundry and Harry Potter. Its been a good day. Matthew's ice skates came today. He wants to get them sharpened after work today, but I really dont feel like going with him, its just too cold outside. Ok, he is home so now I get to tell him I dont want to go, and have him be all sisappointed so I will feel guilty and go with him. It has become a sort of system.

26 weeks (third Trimester, can you believe it?!)

Your pregnancy: 26 weeks

How your baby's growing:Your baby now weighs about a pound and two-thirds and measures 14 inches (an English hothouse cucumber), from head to heel. The nerve pathways in her ears are developing, which means her response to sounds is growing more consistent. Her lungs are developing now, too, as she continues to take small breaths of amniotic fluid — good practice for when she's born and takes that first breath of air. If you're having a boy, his testicles are beginning to descend into his scrotum — a trip that will take about two to three days.

Bored.

So I am keeping an extra close eye on me. For some reason, this winter is really getting to me. I cant get out of bed in the morning, I just want to sleep, and I don't want to do anything. Like going to the hockey has become a chore to me. An inconvenience. But I know deep down I want to go, I just really don't want to go...if that makes sense. I don't know, maybe it would be different if I didn't know I would have to drive home after it was over. Anyway, i am paying close attention to all of this, so if it becomes a big problem I am going to talk to my doctor about it.

I miss sleep. I know that I have said it a million times before, but I miss sleeping! I bought a wedge pillow today so I am hoping that will help. ( I do realize that the lack of sleep may be contributing to my above concern.) I know it wont make my bladder magically uncompressed, or outside my body, but I am hoping it will help me be more comfortable.

It has been snowing for two days. At least it isn't piss-a** cold anymore. Haha, as I understand it you Iowans are getting a taste of that. Hahaha, misery really DOES love company.

Work is going ok, I am pretty worn out by the end of the day, this week anyway, cuz we had a girl quit, another girl has DRAMA in the lines of a harassment charge (and arrest warrant) put in place by the boyfriend she just broke up with, and another girl who's (possessive) (now ex-)fiance kicked her out of their house and ended their engagement so she didn't come to work a few days... Anyway, needless to say I have been out on the floor instead of in the salon, so I am pretty drained when I get home. And then Matthew wants me to make him food (though if I protest he will do it, and has been doing it lately). Anyway, I had forgotten about the drama that surrounds this industry. All I ask is that you keep me out of it! But that hasn't been the case. We are smack dab in the middle of the ex-fiance thing. And yesterday I was actually scared. Cuz if this guy is the way she describes him, I don't want him coming in the store to "handle his business" so to say and so ape shit on us. Cuz from what we have heard he isn't the greatest person in the world, so last night Kera and I were pretty disturb, cuz we didn't want to tell him when he called, that she wasn't here (cuz she was supposed to be) so we told him she was unavailable. Which technically wasn't lying... But we were afraid he would get off work and come looking for her, and when she wasn't there, he'd take it out on us, and maybe I was overreacting (I wasn't, according to Kera), but I have my son to worry about too. And that just PISSED me off, to be put in that position. Because at that point it wasn't about her, or him, it was about me and my unborn child's safety. I felt so much better when Scott (our security guard) got here!

So there are your updates!

Crib, Stroller, and Car Seat

These are before pictures, the chair and our loot from Christmas.

OK, We decided it would be better to bring it in piece by piece.

Matthew, reading the instructions.

All that's missing is the Plumber's Crack, lol.

Jackie and Grizzly were lots of help!

Starting to look like something now...

And this would be why we put Griz on a diet, she couldn't squeeze through there!

Putting in the shelves..

Ta-da!!! All we need now is a mattress

Here is everything all together.

This is he stroller and the car seat we got We are very happy with our choices.

Side view of the stroller. I like that it isn't too bulky.

All folded up.

Everything is unpacked and waiting to be washed.

Here is a close up of the car seat. We chose this one for the colors (we were deciding between two)

All of our blankies. All so color coordinated.

So the room is still a work in progress, but I feel SOOOOO much better for having these three things. Now I can stop stressing and just wait for Hayden to get here!

25 Weeks

Your pregnancy: 25 weeks

How your baby's growing:Head to heels, your baby now measures about 13 1/2 inches. His weight — a pound and a half — isn't much more than an average rutabaga, but he's beginning to exchange his long, lean look for some baby fat. As he does, his wrinkled skin will begin to smooth out and he'll start to look more and more like a newborn. His hair is probably recognizable now (in color and texture), although both may change after he's born.

Electrical Fire

So we had a pretty interesting day! We got in to work today and discovered the foundation was leaking, so the mall maintenance guys came and looked at it and said there wasn't anything they could do today, and were just going to remove the snow from around the foundation so that maybe it would slow down the leak. So a couple hours after that a customer comes in and tells us if we knew that the wire outside was smoking. And as me and Kera went outside to look, it bursts into flames. Ok, so we go back inside and I am freaking out cuz i don't know where the fire extinguishers are ( I actually do know, but in my panic I could remember) So Kera calls the fire department and I am outside with the fire extinguisher trying to keep the flame under control. So the fire department tells Kera to call 911, which is what me and Tara told her to do in the first place. So all the while we are just trying to keep it in control, so it kinda goes out, but keeps flaring up, and burning back down. Meanwhile Kera is still on the phone with the dispatcher, who has already sent the FD but we didn't know this, so Carol is in the background telling Kera to just tell them to send someone, and me and Tara are like"Ok, its flaring up again." "ok it died out again" "ok its flaring up again." And Kera is trying not to laugh. So we're waiting for the fire department to get there, and I look up and there is now smoke pouring out of the top of the rain gutter! Great. So I can finally see the fire trucks coming, lights flashing, and horn a-blarin', AND NO ONE WILL GET OUT OF THE WAY!!!!!! They wouldn't pull over for emergency vehicles. I was appalled. I mean I usually am when people don't pull over, but this time I'm on the other end of the emergency! So here come four fire trucks and all the girls can think about is whether they are going to be hot or not. LOL. So we're watching them from out of the window, rating their hotness, as they cut the wires. And the mall manager shows up. Except I didn't know that he was the owner of the mall. So he comes inside and says "So you have some firemen in here?" And I thought he was just a smart ass customer, so I'm like "Yeah, a few, thought we'd spice it up around here." And he's like "Where can I find them?" "Outside in the big trucks." I say. Not realizing he was serious and was looking for the guys who were in the back hallway, cutting the power. LOL. Oops. Oh, well, you shouldn't assume people know who you are, I guess. So he is out there all up in these guys' business, they cant even do anything cuz he is under their feet! So we were all pretty suspicious at that. Connie thinks he was probably afraid they would discover something wasn't up to code. So anyway, that was our excitement today. A flood and a fire. I told Connie if there was one more natural disaster in the store that was it, if there was a tornado, I was quitting!!!! LOL.

Too much TV

So best of intentions fell by the waste side yesterday. I went upstairs to put away my laundry and such, but instead I crawled in bed and slept for two hours with Jackie. LOL. Oops. So I guess that next weekend will have to be a cleaning weekend also. But I got to relax and I got to spend some time with Matthew when he got home. So its all ok. But today its back to work for another week... Which I am not really looking forward to. I just get so tired by the end of the week, that once I get to my days off, I am just so tired. I cant sleep. This is going to become a broken record over the next three months, not being able to sleep. But last night I only had to pee once, but I was having all these vivid dreams where I had to fight for my life. But these dreams are different. Vivid. Real. I mean I usually have vivid dreams, but its more like watching a movie. I know its just a movie. So I know the movie has to end sometime. So I just watch it. But these new dreams are a movie, but I am IN the movie. I'm not watching it, it is my perspective. i see what I am looking at. I am IN the movie, so I don't know that its not real, or that it has to end some time, and I have to run/fight for my life. And I wake up with my heart pounding, breathing heavy, my blood racing. And I think to myself, "this cant be good." Because I am obviously distressed and that is not a good condition to be in. So I am going to see if this is a one night thing, if it continues, I might need to call the doctor. The only thing I have changed is taking the Zantac for heartburn. So hopefully it was just an after effect of watching 4 hours of Terminator: The Sara Connor Chronicles. Which is what my guess would be. So note to self, back off the Terminator!

I got quite a bit done yesterday. I feel better for having the kitchen done. I didnt get the cupboards done like I wanted to, but there is always next weekend. Still haveto vacuum. Matthew came home early from work and I was like "oh good, I have some jobs for you." Including moving the appliances and the couch and general helping me clean. He looks at me and says "I want to go back to work!" LOL. I am a slave driver. I didnt get the vacuuming done or the entry way, or the floors. SO I will do those today and then next weekend we will do the upstairs. I want to get the crib next weekend, if Matthew doesnt have to work. If he does, then I guess it will have to wait another week or two. But we cant keep putting it off. We still have to get a car seat too. And a mattress for the crib. So we cant keep procrastinating like this. I guess I have to start holding some of my check in savings to make sure we have enough to get these things. Anyhoo, we still have a lot of work to do between now and then. A lot of budgeting and a lot of planning. This is going to be a CRAZY year.

I want to do some cleaning today,but I need a few things and is is so damn cold I dont want to leave the house. I suppose I should just suck it up and do it cuz the soon I do, the sooner I can getthis process started. I know this urge to clean is only going to get stronger and I really do need to get started now, before I get too big. I need to be able to move the stove and the refridgerator and I dont think I will be able to do it for much longer. But here I sit, writing this and watching Charlie's Angels. Go figure. I did get to sleep in though, which as nice and I will be taking a nap later, but I didnt get ANYTHING dont last weekend, so I HAVE to do something this weekend!!!

This whole thing with Matthew having to leave just sucks. It sucks. A month after (maybe not even depending on when Hayden actually arrives) his son his born, he has to leave. If nothing else it re-enforces the reason why we are getting out of the AF. But worrying about that leads me to start worrying about everything else from money to daycare to food to finding a place to live to small stuff like how we are going to get all the suitcases, the cats and the baby from the truck to the check in desk at the airport!! EVERYTHING. and I wonder why I cant sleep. I need to really watch this cuz this morning I woke up at 5:30 with Matthew and couldnt get back to sleep and I could literally feel my heart beating faster and faster and faster. The whole time, trying to calm myself down, cuz this CANNOT be good for me or for Hayden. And I have for the most part, but I still think my heart is beating a bit faster than it should be. I am just getting so overwhelmed already and there is still a year between now and then. I cant imagine what condition I will be in in 8 months from now!

Appointment

It went really well. I got a prescription for the heartburn, so hopefully that wont be an issue anymore. I did gain nearly as much as I thought I did. It is so weird cuz my stomach is getting bigger, but I am not really putting on much weight, which is really good. And my blood pressure was awesome. I have to do another 3 hour glucose before my next appointment, but thats it. I was put on Guest Services at work so I just answer phones and book appointments and stuff, so I dont have to be on my feet all day. On the down side, Matthew found out that they are sending him to Sheppard AFB, TX for training June 9-20th. Mom is maybe going to alter her trip time to be with me then, so I am not all by myself for 2 weeks. But that means she has to wait an extra month before she gets to see Hayden... But who knows maybe he wont go... He says its pretty for sure, but you never know, right? He was so cute the other night cuz I guess he has been worried that Hayden isnt growing or something was wrong. I think its cuz he cant really feel him yet, but I think he is better now cuz Dr. Ostrand said that his heart rate was "perfect" and she went over the ultrasound results and he is normal and healthy and my quad screen test was negative, so all is going very well. So he says he feels better now, but I know he wants another ultrasound so he can see Hayden again. It has to be hard for him, I mean I feel him moving all the time, so I know he is fine and active and basically that he is there. Matthew cant feel him or see him or anything, except for my growing belly. And we try to have him feel Hayden kick, but it hasnt been super hard lately, so its been difficult. It just has to be hard being so disconnected from all of it. But I assure him that he'll be here before we know and then he can hold him and feel him and look at him all he wants to! Only 3 1/2 months to go!

24 Weeks

Your pregnancy: 24 weeks

How your baby's growing:Your baby's growing steadily, gaining about a quarter of a pound since last week, when she was just over a pound. Since she's almost a foot long (picture an ear of corn), that makes a pretty lean figure, but her body is filling out proportionally and she'll soon put on more baby fat. Your baby's skin is thin, translucent, and wrinkled, her brain is growing rapidly, and her taste buds are developing. Her lungs are developing "branches" of the respiratory "tree" and cells that produce surfactant, a substance **that helps the air sacs inflate easily.

Sympathy Cravings

So you all know how much I want milk all the time... Anyway, we went grocery shopping on Sunday and got one gallon of milk. We were thinking about getting two, but decided against it. Mat Maid went out of business ( the Alaskan dairy) so now milk is hard to get till a new distributor. So in two days time, Matthew had drank all the milk!! He is having MAJOR cravings for milk too! So we had to buy two gallons this time. So we are trying to pace ourselves on the milk drinking.

Yuck!

So here are some pictures of my poor face after this horrible day. I have just been spewing acid all day. I feel like I should be in an Aliens movie. All these broken blood vessels have destroyed my wonderful complexion! These dont really look as bad as they did this morning when my face was all swollen... if you didnt know you'd think Matt was beating me!!!! Thanks goodness it has faded a bit, so I have hopes that it will fade. I have an appointment on Wednesday so I am just trying to hang on till then. (Also please ignore the fact that I need to wax my eyebrows, I know this already) I suppose this is my pennence for not having morning sickness. This is the pregnancy karma evening itself out...

Well, the heartburn is back. And I thought it was bad inthe beginning... I threw up twice at work because of the heartburn acid... And it was PAINFUL!!!! I didnt have anything with me to take, so I had to just try to deal with it. And now that I am home, Mylanta isnt helping at all and I have to be careful because of the calcium, and the risk of kidney stones... So I cant take them as often as I need them. This sucks.

I miss sleep. I know I should get used to not sleeping, but I am tired. I just cant get comfortable and I have to pee all the damn time. And my back hurts. This is the first time since I have gotten pregnant that I have been this uncomfortable. I feel like my stomach has triple in size since before we left to go home. But I actually havent put on that much weight, surprisingly. Which is good, since my next doctor's appointment is less than a week away. Being back at work helps though, cuz I am making a point of walking around the store when we arent busy, so I am getting some activity during the day. I think it makes me tired, lol, at the end of the day, but I know I have to do it, cuz I have to do my second glucose test in the next couple weeks, and I am a little nervous about it. Since I was close on one of the five blood tests I have had to do, but I am trying to stay active and I try to watch the carb intake (not while I was home though!) and I try really hard to avoid sugary foods, but it happens. So I really dont have a ton to be worried about, but I am, and I will be until the baby is actually here!

Ok, I have to get to work, so I'll keep you updated on my status.

23 Weeks

Your pregnancy: 23 weeks

How your baby's growing:Your baby is more than 11 inches long and weighs just over a pound (about as much as a large mango). His skin is red and wrinkled. Blood vessels in his lungs are developing to prepare him for breathing. He can swallow, but he normally won't pass his first stool (called meconium) until after birth. Loud noises heard often in utero — such as your dog barking or the roar of a vacuum cleaner — probably won't faze your baby when he hears them outside the womb.

Why have I never known the joy of putting raisins in my oatmeal?!? Yum, raisins. I blame my mother (she hates raisins).

We're home

After a hell of a trip home (and back), we are back in Alaska. I had a wonderful trip home, despite the trouble getting there, and the HELL of trying to get back, I am glad we went. We spent most of the time with family, so that was pretty great. I have missed the UNO games where we have to fight peeing our pants cuz we're laughing so hard.

Another awesome thing is that Matthew got to feel Hayden move for the first time. When he makes a a big movement, my stomach twitches, so Matthew got to feel that. And a couple days ago, I felt my stomach stretch from the inside, and one side of my tummy was really hard and the other wasn't, like a hard stripe, so Matthew got to actually FEEL him. Like he was pushing up against my stomach. It was so cool cuz we could FEEL HIM!!!!

We didn't do anything really special for New Year's Eve. We went to the Ace's game, but it sucked. Then we came home, tried to stay up long enough to watch the Ball drop and then went to bed. No biggie.

I will eventually get around to posting some pictures from home, but Matthew wants to get something done today, so I had better get to it...

22 weeks

Your pregnancy: 22 weeks

How your baby's growing:Your baby now looks like a miniature newborn, checking in at 10.9 inches (the length of a spaghetti squash) and almost 1 pound. Her skin will continue to appear wrinkled until she gains enough weight to fill it out, and the fine hair (lanugo) that covers her head and body is now visible. Her lips are becoming more distinct, and the first signs of teeth are appearing as buds beneath her gum line. Her eyes are developed, though the iris (the colored part of the eye) still lacks pigment. Eyelids and eyebrows are in place, and her pancreas, essential for hormone production, is developing steadily.

21 weeks

Your pregnancy: 21 weeks

How your baby's growing:Your baby now weighs about three-quarters of a pound and is approximately 10 1/2 inches long — the length of a carrot. His eyebrows and eyelids are fully developed. And you can certainly feel him move. He's oblivious to your schedule, though, so don't be surprised if he starts working out just when you're settling down for the night. If you're having a girl, her vagina is formed now, though it will continue to develop until birth

Since You Asked...

Ok folks, here he is. This is a profile. The white spots are his spine and his nasal/sinus cavity.

Maybe this is easier. See its TOTALLY my chin. And he has his lips all puckered too. And from this angle it appears to be Matthew's neck...

20 weeks

I am sure you have all heard by now, but Baby is a boy!!!!!
Your pregnancy: 20 weeks

How your baby's growing:Your baby weighs about 10 1/2 ounces (or 13oz) now. She's also around 6 1/2 inches long from head to bottom, and about 10 inches from head to heel — the length of a banana. (For the first 20 weeks, we use measurements taken from the top of the baby's head to her bottom — known as the "crown to rump" measurement. After that, we use measurements from head to toe. This is because a baby's legs are curled up against her torso during the first half of pregnancy and are very hard to measure.)A greasy white substance called vernix caseosa coats her entire body to protect her skin during its long submersion in amniotic fluid. (This slick coating also eases the journey down the birth canal.)Your baby is swallowing more, which is good practice for her digestive system. She's also producing meconium, a black, sticky substance that's the result of cell loss, digestive secretion, and swallowed amniotic fluid. This meconium will accumulate in her bowels, and you'll see it in her first messy diaper (although a few babies pass it in utero or during delivery).

I am so freaking tired. I just cant catch up on sleep, no mater how early I get to bed. At some point (usually around 4) I wake up for an hour because I am too worried about something, that I cant do anything about at 4 in the morning anyway, so why worry about it... But its always something and always am and always an hour. And the hockey games dont help much, cuz we dont get home till 10 pm... I am thinking about not going tonight... Blasphemy, I know ( dont tell my husband) but I just want to go home and go to bed. I could be asleep now, cuz I dont have to be at work for another hour and a half. I could get an hour in but instead I am here, typing this, and listening to Bob and Mark. Nope I am going to tale a nap. Its 8:40 in the morning and I am going to take a nap. Sweet.

I actually have a ew moments to sit down and jot some things down... I am feeling pretty good but the aches and pains of pregnancy are starting to really set in. I am having more ligament pains and my feet hurt a lot of the time. (Work is really good about lettingme sit down when I need to.) And my fingers swell up by the end of the day, so I havent been wearing my wedding ring for fear that I wont be able to get it off. There have been a couple close calls, so I quit wearing it. I need to get a chain or something so I can wear it, I dont like not having it. We are all ready for Christmas around here, presents are being wrapped and meals planned... Too bad we have so long to wait!!! Friday is Baby Day, as we refer to it around here. And the days cant pass quickly enough... My appoinment is at 9:30 so at least I dont have to wait all day, but lets wait to see if I get any sleep the night before!!! LOL. Thats pretty much it. Tomorrow I hope to finish up my shopping and get the gifts sent off in reasonable time, otherwise you'll just have to wait, I guess. OH! Matthew had his Promotion Ceremony on Friday. It was kind of fun to go to and hear all thedifferent cheers. he Communications Flight had some REALLY funny ones. OK, have a good week and if I dont post anything before Friday, I'll do it then! HA!

19 Weeks

Your pregnancy: 19 weeks

How your baby's growing:Your baby weighs about 8 1/2 ounces, and he measures 6 inches, head to bottom — about the size of a large heirloom tomato. His arms and legs are in the right proportions to each other and the rest of his body now. His kidneys continue to make urine, and the hair on his scalp is sprouting. This is a crucial time for sensory development: Your baby's brain is designating specialized areas for smell, taste, hearing, vision, and touch. If your baby is a girl, she has an astonishing 6 million eggs in her ovaries. They'll dwindle to fewer than two million by the time she's born.

Christmas

I read a comment left on Amanda's blog about her real Christmas tree post. http://epigone.blogspot.com/2007/12/it-feels-lot-more-like-christmas-with.html#comments
And I feel kinda bad about the comment I left after... I know that it was a pseudo-hormone rant, and I say pseudo cuz its not as bad as what was going through my head. And I know that the reason I got so defensive is because I don't like anyone questioning or judging someone else's traditions. And that's what I felt like was happening. (its also what I am probably about to do, but I am blaming my hormones because this really upset me, and I am about to illustrate why)

(Now I don't know this girl and I am sure that's not the case, but its how I felt.) Because since I can't be home for Christmas every year, like I would want to be, those traditions are all the more precious to me. My memories of Christmas make this holiday more than just a day to me. We used to go, as a family, in the cab of Greenie to pick out the perfect tree. No matter what, we went together. Whether dad was working, or Amanda was embarrassed of her family, or I didn't want to go...We always went together and we sang carols the whole way. They would take our picture at the tree farm... and we would have cider and cookies. Then come home and decorate the tree. Playing Christmas CDs throughout the house, we would do it together. The house would be decorated and the lights put up outside...and that night I would lay on the couch, in the dark, with the tree lit up and just cherish those moments. Even as a child, I knew that this was special, and I would want to remember it forever. And I am so glad I used to do that because now I have those pictures of that tree in my head. Every year, on the Sunday before Christmas, we would have the Ervin family Christmas gift exchange where we would eat too much and gather everyone in Grandma's living room to open presents and play with new toys, and play games and take naps... Then on Christmas Eve we would go to church, then go to Grandma & Grandpa's in between services and have soup and crackers and Christmas goodies. And I would try so hard to stay awake to go to the Candlelight service, lol, when I was younger it was quite the challenge, but I loved the candle light service. "Is your Heart Prepared for a King?..." My favorite Advent Choir song. And when we got home from church, we would go to bed, and I would lie there, looking at the lights reflecting off the snow, and listening so hard for the sleigh bells to ring. And sometimes I was convinced I could hear them. That's the magic right? And Christmas morning, we would wait till everyone was up and dad had set up the video camera, and we would go downstairs to do stockings. We would sit around the sunroom and do stockings while mom drank coffee, and everyone made stupid jokes about the underwear the was inevitably in everyone's stocking. Then we would wait while dad (or Lew) set up the camera in the living room... And we would open presents. I love watching people open the presents from me, because when I pick out a present I put a lot of thought behind them. And I love to see their reactions to the gifts that I spent forever thinking of and finding. I would rather watch people open their presents from me, then receive anything myself. And we would stop in the middle somewhere for hot chocolate and tea ring. then commence with the presents. And then we would have Christmas dinner of crab legs and twice baked potatoes. And then we would get ready and go to Grandma Whitmer's house and visit with family there for the afternoon. Usually getting to bring one of our new toys to play with.

And I just want to ask, isn't it better that this real tree is decorated with love and family togetherness. Instead of sitting in a box, molding and forgotten? This real tree is decorated with love and ornaments that reflect a time, a year, in the life of the child who hung it on that branch, and every time it is hung on a tree, it brings back that time and that tradition. That soon to be discarded tree is never really 'DISCARDED" because it lives on, to this day, in the memory of the adult who was once that child with the magic of Christmas reflecting in her eyes. That's not sad...that's Christmas.

I love Christmas. And all of those memories don't lessen my Christmas's here, they just make me appreciate the traditions and magic of the season all the more. And I know that Matthew knows how much I value being with my family this time of the year, when we are not able to do that, I worry that he feels inadequate, like he cant make our Christmas live up to my memories. And I know that he cant, but I don't want him to try either. I want to make our OWN traditions and memories together. And when our baby gets here, I want us to make our own traditions so that someday, our kids can value those traditions like I do mine.

I can feel the baby moving!!! Right now as I lay here and type, I can feel it!! Its been going on for couple minutes, I thought it was just little bubbles cuz I just ate, but its still going. Heehee.

Christmas Blues

I guess its the season, or my hormones. But I have been pretty bummd lately. It is so dumb sometimes, like I was sittingin the living room, by myself, and I started crying cuz I was all by myself. And (putting Matthew aside for a moment, cuz knowing I always have him, is too logical of thinking for hormone induced fits) But I just feel all by myself... Jen is going to be leaving for Florida soon. Now that Charles is back from Iraq, they wont be here too much longer... I guess I am just bummed out. Tis the season.

I am still waiting to feel the baby move again. Sometimes I think I have and I am never sure. I wont worry too much, Cricket had a very strong heartbeat, and I have 11 days till our ultrasound. No word on the blood tests, so I am taking that as a good thing. (Remember it was the Quad Marker [for Downs or neural tube defects] and the CF screen) I am just ready to have my baby. I want my baby. I am ready to have the labor over and just have my baby. Anyhoo....

I also so want to be able to share this with my mom. Having my baby... I just value our relationship so much more now that I am going to be a mommy too. My mom is one of my best friends inthis whole world and it kills me that sh isnt a bigger part of this. But at the same time I am SO excited to make her and dad grandparents. It makes me so happy to do that, and to give them that gift. And that happiness helps fade the saddness. And when I have my baby in my arms, I know that all of that will disappear. Sometimes I feel guilty that I didnt keep my promise to wait till we were closer to home to have a baby, but the time was right for us and I couldnt change that. I could have put it off, but I wouldnt have been happy about it. This makes me happier than I have ever been in my whole life.